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junior88

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Posts posted by junior88

  1. So my wife and I take a trip with my very conservative inlaws. It was pretty much an overnight flight home and my inlaws were asleep across the aisle. I get the brainy idea to go "join the club". We get in to the bathroom and are going at it. We must have been making a little too much noise because we are suddenly interupted by someone banging on the door and my father-in-laws voice yelling for "whoever is in there to get some modesty and clear the restroom". The next minutes that felt like hours were spent trying to figure out how we were going to open the door and face my father in law. When I finally open the door the look on his face was priceless. Lets just say this trip is not discussed at family gatherings, LOL

  2. As a man I have never given one to specifically comment, but like chuck have received many. My suggestion and thought is that it seems like you may be assuming that if you give him a bj, he is going to cum in your mouth. If you trust your boyfriend and that is where your concern lies, you really have nothing to worry about (unless your bf goes off really easily). Many times a bj for me is just one step in a sexual encounter and certainly is not the end. I would suggest trying it once for a little bit, see what he likes, and go from there.

  3. Thanks for the support and sharing your experience. We have tried a few different lubes to see what worked best for us. To some degree it seems like if it were to finally happen it would be earlier in a play session than later. It almost seems like just as I get her outer muscles completely relaxed, the inner clamps shut but at the beginning if I am using a finger I can get a little past her inner muscle.

    Part of it I think also is that she has not really done anything with a toy or finger on herself where she can experience both sides of the coin to learn how to respond.

  4. In one of articles Mikayla, I think she writes you need to push out, like your having a bowl movement to except the toy, penis, whatever. Did you try that? Have you tried any of the anal enhancing lubes or the anal desensitizing ones for the first couple of times you try? The above suggestions, if you haven't already tried, may aid in your success.

    We read through a lot of stuff as far as the "how to" is concerned. I am not sure if it is her not sure what to do or if she just has a hard time relaxing and controlling that area. We got a variety of lubes and tried the numbing kind also but I think the numbing may make it worse because she can't feel what is going on a well (I'm guessing based on our experience).

  5. My SO and I have done a lot of anal play but full insertion on my SO eludes us. I think she has trouble relaxing the inner sphincter. Finger, toy, penis all hit a brick wall. She gets really turned on when we play, so I think it is just a matter of learning control of her muscles. We play alot on myself also and I have no trouble. We have read through all the "how to" type stuff on the subject and it has helped a little I think but if anyone else has had a similar problem that can offer some advice it would be very appreciated.

  6. Thanx so much for your feedback Junior88, I relly appreciate it. I dont see how a man could think he can be replaced by toys...because toys dont love you back like your Significant Other would. I'm going to take you up on it and maybe get him a masturbator...although I wanted to ask you what kind of toys do you recomend, you know when you started with the toys...which ones were good to start with? Judy

    Sorry I haven't responded sooner. Been very busy. The replaced feelings are wierd and hard to explain because they don't make a lot of sense. They just are what they are.

    We bought a dildo right off the bat because we wanted to try using it while I performed oral but like I say I had some awkward feelings about it. After that we went for a Diving Dolphin (a vibrating cock ring) which we both really enjoyed and allowed us to add toys in to our "normal" routine. I liked this toy because both of us could enjoy it at the same time. Then we got some cheap hand cuffs and took it easy for a while with what we had. I wanted to try a masturbator and once we got that I didn't feel so wierd about the dildos because I could see that the masturbator didn't phase my SO at all.

    Another thing that helped was that I knew that she was not using the toys without me. I would strongly recommend that you not use them alone. The important thing in a marriage is that neither partner feels that the trust has been violated and my concern is that if you use them alone without him being OK with it you may violate that trust a bit and make this alot harder in the long run.

    We also bought some sex games to play that incorporated toys. I think it was easier for us to explore the various areas of sexuality that we had not been to yet when it was the game telling us we "had" to do something vs us trying to get started ourselves. It kind of broke the ice each time.

    Don't worry, eventually that part of the male brain that enjoys watching women play with themselves will take over and you will be good to go. :-)

  7. I know what all of you are saying and my husband and i grew up with those beleifs...he is a little closed minded about the sex...he feels uncomfortable to use toys...one of the toys that I had brought to the bed he didnt like...how much pleasure it gave me when he used it on me that he threw it away...so since then I have been apprehensive about bringing anything to the bed.

    I started the toy play in my relationship and I have to admit that at first I was a little unsure of the idea. I didn't like the idea of her using a dildo that was larger than I was because it made me feel a bit insufficient. I don't want to digress in to a discussion of penis size but prior to this I never have had any reason to feel that way because I am above average. . At first I also looked at a dildo somewhat like I would another penis, it is competition. A lot of guys feel that way about women's sex toys. My fear was that I would be replaced by the toys.

    My point is that if I felt this way and I initiated the toy play, your husband may feel the same way only to a greater degree because you initiated it. You might try using toys that are smaller than your husband and that don't really resemble a penis. You could buy him a masturbator for you to use on him when you are "unavailible". That may make him a bit more comfortable and not feel left out. You might try letting him buy a toy to use and see what he gets. If it is a dildo that is smaller than him, size may be what bothers him. I think the fact that he did not refuse outright and it was the pleasure you got that bothered him indicates that his concern is not about the moral implications but rather a fear like I had.

  8. There have been a lot of good posts already but I will still put my 2 cents in.

    Coming from a guy's perspective with a good understanding of religious issues and sex my advice is A. don't give up on finding a guy (if that is what you want) and B. understanding your sexuality prior to marriage is one of the best things you can do for yourself. This does not mean to have sex prior to marriage, just be comfortable with it. I have seen many examples of couples who are very much in love, get married, and both are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the idea of sex because of 20 years worth of being told it is wrong. The first 5 years of marriage are the hardest years you will go through and the issues you face during that time will only be made worse if you have hangups about sex. I am not saying you have to be some kind of nympho who is in to anything but you would be wise to be very comfortable with the idea of sex.

    The religious side of this under New Testament teachings says that if a man looks at a woman with lust in his heart he has already commited the act so the test of virginity also is mental vs physical in the case of non-consentual or non-sexual vaginal penetration. That being said I think that if you want to remain a "virgin", masturbate however you want with whatever you want but don't take it any further.

  9. If anyone is wondering why they give out such good pain meds for this it is because of what happened to me. If I remember the term properly I had a sperm granuloma where I had a lump by my testicle for almost a year, one testicle was swelled to 3 times it's normal size for better than 6 months, and I walked around feeling like I had just been kicked for about 4 months after the procedure. In case you are wondering I did take my meds and followed the instructions of what to do and not to do to the letter.

    After the fact I looked at all the potential side effects, that my doctor and the literature he gave me failed to mention, and if I knew then what I know now I am not sure I would have done it. They try to make it appear that this is a simple surgery with limited side effects, which in many cases it may be, but there are a lot of potetial complications and side effects that the doctors don't generally mention until it happens to you and then all of a sudden the doctor's story changes to this is a fairly common problem and it will go away eventually. I saw 3 different doctors and 2 different urologists and every one of them sent me away with a bottle of anti imflamatory pain killers, an antibiotic, and told me that this is very common and you just have to wait it out. This got VERY expensive. Besides all the doctor visits, I had to have sonograms done on my testicles, I had lab work, and had it not gotten better when it did I there was a good chance I would have had to have had another surgery to try to correct what was wrong.

    One thing I found out is that if you spend a lot of time in the car for work, the vibration can really aggravait the situation so if possible avoid long trips for the first couple weeks.

    My warning to all men is make sure you have good health insurance prior to having this done and this is not necessarily a routine in and out surgery because I know a couple other guys that had similar issues where the side effects were not as advertised.

  10. Lube, lube, lube!! If it hurts, try more lube. If it still hurts, stop now and try again later when you are more relaxed. Hubby and I had to try countless times before we could successfully perform anal. And lube was critical to that.

    I would never recommend a numbing lube. Doesn't that just defeat the purpose of sex? Plus it allows you to accidentally hurt yourself without knowing until later. And then you might never want to do it again because you ended up bleeding or even having to go to a hospital. Just take it slow, be relaxed, LOTS of lube, patience, perserverance, and lots of stimulation of the clit, pussy, breasts, whatever gets you going before you go anal. And communication! Have a safeword if need be.

    Since it sounds like you had the same issues my SO and I have had with needing many attempts, what lube do you use(if you don't mind me asking)? We have tried several different lubes but haven't really hit on the right one.

    I have to agree about not using numbing lube. In the long run I think you are really worse off if you use the numbing lube because it wears off eventually and if you walk around sore for the next 24 hours, those 24hours are far more memorable than the relatively short period of pleasure you got from the sex and that makes the next time that much harder.

  11. We are trying to figure out what to do with our stuff also. Kids are getting older and more nosey. Right now we have ours in a rubbermaid tub under the bed. I am thinking about buying a safe to put them in. We want to get something fireproof for our important papers and what not so I figure I will just get something a little larger. I just wish I could get something that would self destruct if both of us kick the ol' bucket. Even dead I am not too keen on the idea of my inlaws or parents finding "that" box!

    Another thought I had (if your kids are like mine) is to put them in the kid's toy box. Why would I put it there you ask... because it is never used, always empty, and is the last place the kids would look for anything. :P

  12. i would just like to add some thing to all the wonderful adv you have already been given. in having done this myself i may have some thing to add that can help you . we do anal from time to time. there are nights that i am wanting it so bad and others when he touches me there i am like no way . with me i just have to be relly turned on . and i have also let him play a little then say no more. this bc( w/ me) i can only do that so much and then enough is enough. and i too have always been very "shy" during sex. we have been together for 16 yrs and i still get embarassed about stuff. i can not talk to my dh about sex stuff bc i still in the back of my head think " omg what will he think of me". when he would actually be very happy if i would but i just can't. we hear so much of what is not "normal" and this is what gives my the prob. bc in the back of my mind i think man i like this and that but it's not normal so i keep it to my self. the only time i can talk to dh aboutit is right after in the dark . i know it is weird but it helps me if i am not looking into his eyes. i hope some of this has helped you in any way .

    Thanks for your post. You and my SO are very must alike. She only will talk about sex after dark and with some prodding. It is really frustrating for me sometimes because I want to discuss and try new stuff but if my SO is stressed about something or isn't particularly horny that day she clams up. We communicate well but she is just not naturally very willing to discuss sex. My solution to this has been to try and discuss sex more often, even if just in a general sense, to try and make the subject more "normal". I think men generally are always ready for any kind of sex and nothing a woman does will shock them enough to ruin a mood. Some women on the other hand I think are more easily spooked and are more likely to be thinking about what their partner "must" be thinking of them right now. My SO has told me that she will be worried that I am thinking she is wierd but in reality all I am thinking is "Hell YA! This is the best I've ever had it!".

    Men your best bet is to be up front with your partner and communicate that anything they do will turn you on AND then prove it to them. The other thing is NEVER UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER FOR ANY REASON make a joke about her body, what she does during sex, or any other stupid remark that will make her think you might be judging her. This is at any time not just during "sex time". If she is self concious and feels judged you might as well forget trying anything new or "taboo".

  13. I know where you are coming from with the mixed signals. My SO and I have experimented with anal a fair number of times and she has even initiated the anal play. Sometimes she is good to go and other times she says she doesn't ever want to again. It can be quite frustrating when she does this. I think it has more to do with how horny she is than anything else. If she wants sex she is more likely to be more adventurous, if not it is just mercy sex. From converstions with my SO about this I think that women like my SO just do not think about sex very often vs almost all men who think about sex constantly.

    I think stress plays a huge role in this also so if you can reduce her stress that may help.

  14. My only thought as far as damage is concerned is if you developed callouses on your penis. There is a small area at the base of mine where I get eczema sometimes in the winter and the skin is a bit thicker there and not as sensitive. Have you had your prostate checked to make sure it isn't enlarged?

  15. I saw this section of the board and decided to give this a try. I have done a little writing in the past but never sex related.

    Enjoy! (I hope)

    The car was hot. "Hot does not even begin to describe this" thought James. The inside of the car boiled in

    the 95 degree heat of the mid day sun. "I should have fixed this air conditioner before I left" James said

    aloud. James was headed to the city for a week of work at one of his branch offices. James hated the city.

    Even as a child he longed for the open spaces of the country. As an adult his love of the country only

    grew. The open spaces, the clean air, and outdoor sex with no onlookers. James drove for what seemed like

    days in his hot car. The heat and the monotonous road was hypnotizing for James. Soon his thoughts wandered

    back to the country and a chance encounter that lead to the best sex of his life.

    James was 26 at the time. He had his share of girlfriends over the years but nothing that was ever real

    serious. That summer he had found a job that allowed him to make a large amount of money in a short period

    of time. Best of all he could stay with his grandparents at their farm in the country. James needed some

    fresh air. Work had been rough that day and he needed to unwind. He set off for through the field toward a

    stand of trees that separated his grandparent's farm from their neighbor's. A small creek ran through the

    trees and James liked to walk along the creek and enjoy nature. As he entered the woods and started to

    follow the creek he saw something moving in the distance ahead of him behind some bushes. "It must be a

    deer" James thought. He stealthfully moved closer to get a better look. He found a spot by some small trees

    where he could sit and watch unseen. James waited for the deer to step in to view. He watched as it moved

    closer to the edge of the bushes.

    As it emerged the first thing James saw was a breast. A naked perfect breast. Then he saw her, the most

    beautiful woman he had ever seen. James felt the familiar rush in his pants. Her dark hair flowed down from

    her head across her breast. Her body curved downward to a perfect bottom, and there it was. Her pussy. The

    woman splashed he foot in the water as she ran her hand around an erect nipple. The woman crossed the creek

    and spread her towel. Then she layed down. Her hand ran from her breasts to her pussy and back to her

    mouth. James watched as she licked her finger and ran her hand back to her pussy stopping long enough to

    swirl it around her nipple. His cock was fully erect and throbbed with every stroke her hand made on her

    pussy. The woman rubbed her clit faster and harder. Her hips gyrated with the rythm of her hand that now

    seemed to be swallowed by her open pussy. James needed some release. His cock was throbbing so hard he

    thought he would cum without ever touching it. He moved to open his pants. CRACK!! James froze. When he

    moved his foot pushed a stick and it broke. James thought someone had just fired a gun. His heart beatin

    his ears. The woman looked his direction. "You may as well come out" she said.

    James was not sure what to do. He was busted. Not only had he been spying on this woman he had a hard on he

    could never hide. His tent was big enough for the whole circus to perform. "Come on" the woman said. James

    shyly stood up. "Come on over here. There is nothing you haven't already seen." the woman said as she

    beckoned him. James walked toward the woman. "I see you enjoyed the show!" the woman said as she hungrily

    stared at the bulge in his pants. "Sit down beside me." James obeyed. James couldn't help but stare at the

    most perfect set of breasts he had ever seen. He wanted to touch them, to taste them. His eyes wandered to

    the lips of her glistening wet pussy. "Like what you see?" she asked. All James could do was nod and stare

    at her breasts again. She reached out and took his hand to her breast. "I'm Mariah by the way" she said as

    she ran his hand to her pussy. She shuddered as his finger ran across her clit. James was not sure what to

    do. This was a dream fantasy come true! Mariah held his hand against her pussy and gently thrust her hips.

    She let go of his hand and reached over to the now even larger bulge in his pants. "I think we need to see

    what is in here" she said as she undid his fly. Mariah reached in to his pants and rubbed his cock as she

    leaned over to kiss him.

    James could take no more. He put his free hand around her and kissed her with more animal lust than a sex

    starved prisoner. His finger thrust in her now soaking pussy rubbing her clit with every pass. His mouth

    moved down her neck to her shoulders and down to the top of her breasts. He paused there briefly, teasing

    her with his tongue before kissing his way to her swollen nipple. When his tongue brushed her nipple Mariah

    thrust her hips in the air. Her pussy was on fire! James wanted to torture her further. He flicked his

    tongue on her nipples in rythm with the strokes of his hand. When he thought she could take no more he

    moved southward. Kissing below her breasts, down her stomach, and finally to the top of her slit. He

    stopped his fingering long enough to blow gently on Mariah's clit. Mariah lost control. Her hips pulsed

    with desire for what was next. Her head was swimming with pleasure. Then she felt it. The warm touch of his

    tongue on her pussy. James flicked his tongue in her pussy savoring her delicious flavor and aroma paying

    special attention to her now engorged clit. Mariah came harder than she ever had in her life. Her thighs

    clentched James's head like a vise lifting him from the ground with every thrust.

    When Mariah finally released James his cock needed release. James kissed his way back to Mariah's face and

    as he kissed her with a passion he had never before experienced, he sunk his cock in to her waiting pussy.

    Mariah was so wet he sank all the way to the base of his shaft in the first gentle thrust. James held

    Mariah for a moment with his cock filling her pussy. Then he could wait no more. James slid his cock back

    to the lips of her pussy, teased her for a second, and thrust back in. With every thrust Mariah begged for

    more and James was happy to obey. James thrust as deep as he could grinding on Mariah's clit. His hands

    fondled her breasts and he pounded on. Mariah spread her legs wide and pulled at James with her hands

    trying to get him deeper and deeper. Her pelvis thrust in union with James as she built to climax. James

    thrust faster and harder. Mariah arched her back and let out a moan. Her legs shook and her pussy

    tightened. Mariah's orgasm sucked James's cock in to her pussy and pumped it as if her pussy was trying to

    suck the cum out of James's cock. This was more than James could handle his cock exploded in her pussy

    filling her deepest depths with his hot cum.

    James and Mariah layed like they were until James's cock had gone limp and slid from her pussy. They got

    dressed and James turned to Mariah. "When can I see you again?" he asked. "Soon" she said and with out

    another word she walked in to the trees and was gone.

    HONK!!!!! James jumped in his seat and swerved back to his own lane. The sight of the semi coming head on

    was enough to deflate his daydream aroused cock and bring him back to reality. It had been 2 years since

    his encounter with Mariah and he had not seen her since. He had asked around about Mariah but no one had

    ever heard of her.

  16. It is entirely possible that he does not mastubate at all or at least not very often. I have been with my SO for about 10 years and I have to say that I have probably only solo masturbated 10 times in ten years. Those times were right after child birth. The lack of solo masturbation is for a couple reasons. A. My SO gives me what I need. B. I am generally a once a day man so if I waste it and she comes looking for some that night I have a real problem on my hands. (No pun intended :-) ). If you are giving him hand jobs or BJ's when you don't want to or can't have sex he may be satisfied. If you really are curious you may try describing to him the first time you masturbated while thinking of him. Then try asking him the same thing. It makes for interesting pillow talk if nothing else! This would bring the subject up for discussion with out directly asking him and may lead to a more interesting sex life. I personally enjoy hearing my SO describe her solo encounters while I am away overnight for work or something. I think it is safe to say most guys like hearing about that sort of thing.

  17. I too have been reading for a while and finally decided to talk.

    My SO and I have been experimenting for a while with anal. I love it when we experiment but my SO is a little neutral to the idea. She wants to try things and initiates anal play sometimes but we don't have a lot of success when it comes to penetration and like Marie Antoinette she doesn't see what the fuss is all about. I have only been able to get my penis fully inserted once. Part of our problem is that she likes a "human" touch vs using toys for warm up and my fingers are the equivalent of using a corn cob or something because they are so rough. I need to find some sleeves that are smooth and fit well enough on my finger to allow me to feel what I am doing.

    I have tried it myself with toys because my opinion on sex is if I won't do it I don't expect her to. I find it enjoyable, when I am in the right mood. I also think to get enjoyment from it you have to have the mindset that it is enjoyable. The other thing we do is put in a porn movie to keep the motors running because anal for us is not fast or furious.

    We also only just get it in a little way before we have to call it quits so you are not alone there. We have approached this with practice makes perfect. My question for the women is what is it about anal that is most enjoyable for you? I know this is a pretty broad question and everyone is different but for men it generally is the stimulation of the prostate that gives us pleasure. I guess I am looking for anal things to try to make it arousing for my SO and help her relax and get pleasure from the anal play because since I am not a woman I don't know how it feels for you. Normally I would just ask my SO what she likes but we don't have a lot to go on and what we do have experience with has been that it doesn't feel bad but it doesn't feel great either.

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