junior88

So my wife and I take a trip with my very conservative inlaws. It was pretty much an overnight flight home and my inlaws were asleep across the aisle. I get the brainy idea to go "join the club". We get in to the bathroom and are going at it. We must have been making a little too much noise because we are suddenly interupted by someone banging on the door and my father-in-laws voice yelling for "whoever is in there to get some modesty and clear the restroom". The next minutes that felt like hours were spent trying to figure out how we were going to open the door and face my father in law. When I finally open the door the look on his face was priceless. Lets just say this trip is not discussed at family gatherings, LOL

Mila Kunis

2 mil minimum, with 1 mil payed on delivery, 1 mil payed after the divorce attorneys have their way with me.

As a man I have never given one to specifically comment, but like chuck have received many. My suggestion and thought is that it seems like you may be assuming that if you give him a bj, he is going to cum in your mouth. If you trust your boyfriend and that is where your concern lies, you really have nothing to worry about (unless your bf goes off really easily). Many times a bj for me is just one step in a sexual encounter and certainly is not the end. I would suggest trying it once for a little bit, see what he likes, and go from there.

Thanks for all your insight! I will discuss the "do it yourself" idea with her and see if that helps. Thanks Again!

Thanks for the support and sharing your experience. We have tried a few different lubes to see what worked best for us. To some degree it seems like if it were to finally happen it would be earlier in a play session than later. It almost seems like just as I get her outer muscles completely relaxed, the inner clamps shut but at the beginning if I am using a finger I can get a little past her inner muscle. Part of it I think also is that she has not really done anything with a toy or finger on herself where she can experience both sides of the coin to learn how to respond.

We read through a lot of stuff as far as the "how to" is concerned. I am not sure if it is her not sure what to do or if she just has a hard time relaxing and controlling that area. We got a variety of lubes and tried the numbing kind also but I think the numbing may make it worse because she can't feel what is going on a well (I'm guessing based on our experience).

My SO and I have done a lot of anal play but full insertion on my SO eludes us. I think she has trouble relaxing the inner sphincter. Finger, toy, penis all hit a brick wall. She gets really turned on when we play, so I think it is just a matter of learning control of her muscles. We play alot on myself also and I have no trouble. We have read through all the "how to" type stuff on the subject and it has helped a little I think but if anyone else has had a similar problem that can offer some advice it would be very appreciated.

Sorry I haven't responded sooner. Been very busy. The replaced feelings are wierd and hard to explain because they don't make a lot of sense. They just are what they are. We bought a dildo right off the bat because we wanted to try using it while I performed oral but like I say I had some awkward feelings about it. After that we went for a Diving Dolphin (a vibrating cock ring) which we both really enjoyed and allowed us to add toys in to our "normal" routine. I liked this toy because both of us could enjoy it at the same time. Then we got some cheap hand cuffs and took it easy for a while with what we had. I wanted to try a masturbator and once we got that I didn't feel so wierd about the dildos because I could see that the masturbator didn't phase my SO at all. Another thing that helped was that I knew that she was not using the toys without me. I would strongly recommend that you not use them alone. The important thing in a marriage is that neither partner feels that the trust has been violated and my concern is that if you use them alone without him being OK with it you may violate that trust a bit and make this alot harder in the long run. We also bought some sex games to play that incorporated toys. I think it was easier for us to explore the various areas of sexuality that we had not been to yet when it was the game telling us we "had" to do something vs us trying to get started ourselves. It kind of broke the ice each time. Don't worry, eventually that part of the male brain that enjoys watching women play with themselves will take over and you will be good to go. :-)

I started the toy play in my relationship and I have to admit that at first I was a little unsure of the idea. I didn't like the idea of her using a dildo that was larger than I was because it made me feel a bit insufficient. I don't want to digress in to a discussion of penis size but prior to this I never have had any reason to feel that way because I am above average. . At first I also looked at a dildo somewhat like I would another penis, it is competition. A lot of guys feel that way about women's sex toys. My fear was that I would be replaced by the toys. My point is that if I felt this way and I initiated the toy play, your husband may feel the same way only to a greater degree because you initiated it. You might try using toys that are smaller than your husband and that don't really resemble a penis. You could buy him a masturbator for you to use on him when you are "unavailible". That may make him a bit more comfortable and not feel left out. You might try letting him buy a toy to use and see what he gets. If it is a dildo that is smaller than him, size may be what bothers him. I think the fact that he did not refuse outright and it was the pleasure you got that bothered him indicates that his concern is not about the moral implications but rather a fear like I had.

There have been a lot of good posts already but I will still put my 2 cents in. Coming from a guy's perspective with a good understanding of religious issues and sex my advice is A. don't give up on finding a guy (if that is what you want) and B. understanding your sexuality prior to marriage is one of the best things you can do for yourself. This does not mean to have sex prior to marriage, just be comfortable with it. I have seen many examples of couples who are very much in love, get married, and both are unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the idea of sex because of 20 years worth of being told it is wrong. The first 5 years of marriage are the hardest years you will go through and the issues you face during that time will only be made worse if you have hangups about sex. I am not saying you have to be some kind of nympho who is in to anything but you would be wise to be very comfortable with the idea of sex. The religious side of this under New Testament teachings says that if a man looks at a woman with lust in his heart he has already commited the act so the test of virginity also is mental vs physical in the case of non-consentual or non-sexual vaginal penetration. That being said I think that if you want to remain a "virgin", masturbate however you want with whatever you want but don't take it any further.

If anyone is wondering why they give out such good pain meds for this it is because of what happened to me. If I remember the term properly I had a sperm granuloma where I had a lump by my testicle for almost a year, one testicle was swelled to 3 times it's normal size for better than 6 months, and I walked around feeling like I had just been kicked for about 4 months after the procedure. In case you are wondering I did take my meds and followed the instructions of what to do and not to do to the letter. After the fact I looked at all the potential side effects, that my doctor and the literature he gave me failed to mention, and if I knew then what I know now I am not sure I would have done it. They try to make it appear that this is a simple surgery with limited side effects, which in many cases it may be, but there are a lot of potetial complications and side effects that the doctors don't generally mention until it happens to you and then all of a sudden the doctor's story changes to this is a fairly common problem and it will go away eventually. I saw 3 different doctors and 2 different urologists and every one of them sent me away with a bottle of anti imflamatory pain killers, an antibiotic, and told me that this is very common and you just have to wait it out. This got VERY expensive. Besides all the doctor visits, I had to have sonograms done on my testicles, I had lab work, and had it not gotten better when it did I there was a good chance I would have had to have had another surgery to try to correct what was wrong. One thing I found out is that if you spend a lot of time in the car for work, the vibration can really aggravait the situation so if possible avoid long trips for the first couple weeks. My warning to all men is make sure you have good health insurance prior to having this done and this is not necessarily a routine in and out surgery because I know a couple other guys that had similar issues where the side effects were not as advertised.

Since it sounds like you had the same issues my SO and I have had with needing many attempts, what lube do you use(if you don't mind me asking)? We have tried several different lubes but haven't really hit on the right one. I have to agree about not using numbing lube. In the long run I think you are really worse off if you use the numbing lube because it wears off eventually and if you walk around sore for the next 24 hours, those 24hours are far more memorable than the relatively short period of pleasure you got from the sex and that makes the next time that much harder.

We are trying to figure out what to do with our stuff also. Kids are getting older and more nosey. Right now we have ours in a rubbermaid tub under the bed. I am thinking about buying a safe to put them in. We want to get something fireproof for our important papers and what not so I figure I will just get something a little larger. I just wish I could get something that would self destruct if both of us kick the ol' bucket. Even dead I am not too keen on the idea of my inlaws or parents finding "that" box! Another thought I had (if your kids are like mine) is to put them in the kid's toy box. Why would I put it there you ask... because it is never used, always empty, and is the last place the kids would look for anything.