SusanJ

Thanks for all the recent replies. Howard4570 I can very much relate to what you said about those girls because I have that religion too and today there are still a lot of myths around (even concerning masturbation). I know way too much about the tragedy of this women when sex life begins and their husbands are as clueless as them; You are right ignorance is not appalling. froggystyle1977, I'm very sorry to hear about what happened, thanks for sharing your thoughts. ch83, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!, your personal experience has made me feel a lot better.

I agree with you, and very much appreciate your thoughts.

Timidgal, thanks for your reply. It was a very nice surprise to know there is somebody out there who went through the same thing than me, I know there must be others but virginity seems rare after a certain age. There's still hope for me then, and I'm glad you don't regret the decisions you've made because I can't imagine they were taken lightly. You now found a man you love and that's what matters. I will think carefully before making any kind of decision so I really appreciate your words.

I guess I could at least try to find a religious or spiritual open mind to talk to but I know it won't be easy since I live in a place that seems to have remained the same for the past 300 years. But it does seem to be an issue that I need to address with an expert. iha, thanks for the advice, it was amazing coming from somebody with such a profound background.

Thank you all for your replies and the warm welcome, I feel a lot less weird now . It is true I still have to get over the guilt caused by my religion, and I'm sure that if I ever meet a guy I can marry chances are small he will be a virgin, or even if he is maybe I should pay more attention to what my opinion of myself is rather than his. I'll be thinking about what you all said. Mikayla, I appreciate very much that you directed me to that article you wrote, I've read so many of those but none was as clear and non-judgemental as yours, some just say "You lose your virginity if you do this and that" but don't seem open to different views, it was definitely very helpful, I guess it's time to decide what feels like a right definition for me. I have a big smile now , thank you again for taking the time to reply and for giving me so much advice.

I have a question that has been bothering me for a while and I'm hoping you can help me. I'm 32, I have never had sexual intercourse with a guy but maybe by some standards I'm no longer a virgin, I'll explain in a moment. I've dated a couple of times, once the guy tried to masturbate me but it just hurt getting touched, I come from a very religious family and never thought I would be able to even use tampons until days ago when I was so turned on I inserted a finger and a small ball inside the vagina (not much, but still in), I couldn't believe how great it felt, for years I was worried I was frigid and this was such a great relief that I barely think about regret. And this is what's bothering me, I want to get myself a sex toy (beads to be precise), I'm tired of waiting for a guy to share my sexuality with and I feel I keep wasting the chance to enjoy what I do have, I know it's not necessary to use penetration of any kind to achieve pleasure but chances of meeting the love of my life are not that great and I wouldn't have sex just for the sake of it either. I've been pondering the option for a few years now, but the thought of pain always stopped me before, and since that's no longer an issue I wonder if it would be very regrettable. I know I don't want to meet my future husband and explain how I decided to have a sex life with myself but how long is too long?, do I wait until I'm 35?, 40?. What do you think?, is this very wrong?.