Jen

Safe? It's never 100% safe if you are having unprotected sex. Jen

Are you looking just to have sex with her? Or are you looking to start something with her that is more than just sex? One way or another you need to let her know that you have an interest. If it's just a sex thing, then once she knows your interested you need to determine if she's interested back. ACTUALLY, no....let me stop right there. If this is a sexual romp than just ask her. If she says no--deal and move on. But if you're interested in this woman put the sex on the back burner and get to know her first. Jen

Funny that you say that. Years ago I had a friend who was having a very tough time having sex. Literally, sexual intercourse was difficult for her. She went to her doctor and was told that she needed to relax. "But how?" she wondered. The doctor said, "you need the 3 Bs--Backrub, Barry (as in Manilow), and Booze." One more thing, too many shots and there's gonna be a whole lot of nothin' going on. Good luck. Jen

During sexual arousal a woman secretes natural lubrication, which can range from a little to quite a lot. While each woman has their own normal amount of secretion many women find the extreme wetness effects their sexual experiences. Sometimes being overly wet can reduce the "friction" that many couples enjoy during sexual intercourse. So how do you reduce one's wetness? There really is no perfect solution although I have a couple of suggestions. One is to wipe as you go. I understand that stopping to clean up can kill the moment, but what kills the moment more is not being able to orgasm. Incorporate tidying with finger stimlulation and play. You (or your partner) can wrap a washcloth around a finger and while absorbing the excess lubrication you (or they) can stimulation the clit. No reason cleaning can't be fun! Another suggestion would be to use a ribbed condom during sex. While this wouldn't do much for the wetness it would create a friction during sex--which would heighten stimulation during intercourse. Good luck. Jen

Yeah--I think that would be wise. The tittilation of the unknown and the excitement of the unexplored is sometimes all that one can handle. If your wife wants anything more than it sounds as if she'll let you know. Good luck. Jen

Nope. Jen

This is a section from my article "Anal Retention" "The number one key to anal sex is to be relaxed and comfortable—literally. The anal muscles spasm when something foreign is placed inside the anus. The only way to avoid this is to relax. A good introduction to anal play is using a finger. Rubbing and stimulating the anal area with your finger will help you and your body relax. Gradually insert the finger in your anus, nothing to quick or jarring. The anus does not create lubrication like the vagina so it is extremely important to use lots of lubrication during any anal play. Keep in mind, oil-based lubricants can break down a latex condom, diminishing its effectiveness. Once you feel at ease using a finger you may want to try using a slender vibrator or dildo." To read more about having anal sex: Anal Retention I hope this helps. Jen

Positioning may make it easier to take your boyfriend without discomfort. You might want to try sex side by side or rather lie on your stomach and have your boyfriend enter you from behind. Lubrication may ease sex a bit also. As for condoms, most companies now make an extra large size--such as Trojan Magnum XL. Good luck, Jen

What you need to do is recreate the feeling of E induced sex but this time NATURALLY! Your fiance doesn't need E to have a sex drive; she needs a spark. You want to make her feel sexy and irresistible! You need to build up sexual feelings and then go with them. Atmosphere and desire--work on that. Good luck. Jen

Waterproof toys are especially great in the shower or tub. While waterproof toys can be used in hot tubs, pools, and the ocean you need to keep in mind that chlorine, chemicals and salt water can wear down and destroy toys. With that in mind I do have a few suggestions I Rub My Duckie Waterproof personal massager--a new spin to an ol' favorite. Waterproof Micro-mite Mini massager--one of my all time favorites. Good luck. Jen

You ask knowing that it might not happen the first time you put the question on the table. There is such a shroud that hangs over anal sex. I couldn't give you a specific number but most people have at least thought about anal sex--whether it be to try it or ask about it. The two things I have learned about anal sex that pretty much sum it all up: 1) Relax--literally. The anal muscles spasm when something foreign is placed inside the anus. The only way to avoid this is to relax. and 2) LUBRICATION! Without lube you're not having anal sex. Good luck! Jen

I like the suggestion of allowing you to come first by way of a fast and deep penetration and then focusing on your boyfriend. Another suggestion might be to use a clit stimulator while you are having sex with your boyfriend. He can go slowly while you get the quick action of a toy. Something like this: Good luck! Jen

I'll tell you the one reason most women HATE blowjobs: when men put there hand on our head, as we are going down on them, and push our heads up and down as we are blowing them. I HATE THAT! I make that clear from the start--hand on my head= no blow job. Women need to be in control of the bj, they need to know if they need to back off they can. Women can't do that with a hand on their head. So men--keep your hands to your sides and let us work our magic! Jen

There are a few things that come to mind. First, even if he didn't orgasm and come there is still preejaculation cum. You should always clean yourself after sex, with either a warm washcloth with mild soap (do not douche...never a good idea) or take a shower. The second thing, is there a possibility that the person you were with has a sexual transmitted disease? There shouldn't be a strong smell two days after having sex--even if you don't clean yourself. You should talk with your partner and if the smell continues you should also talk with your doctor. Good luck. Jen

I think in today's world men would consider you lucky and women would consider themselves fulfilled! Enjoy, Jen

It sounds like you are feeling something more than just sex cramps. If you are feeling pain during sex than you really should consult your doctor. Good luck Jen

Occasional spotting is normal between periods. If it persists and becomes heavy you would want to talk with your doctor. There is the possibility that he scratched you while he was fingering. Suggest to him that he trim his finger nails and be more gentle next time. Jen

Yes, diet and exercise will always help, as long as you are serious about incorporating them into your life. During pregnancy and while you breast feed your body has specific standards it needs to live up to. Your body is the primary source of food and strength for your child--it needs the extra "padding". Talking to your pediatrician and/or primary doctor is a good idea before starting any any new health regimen. Good luck. Jen

Ever heard the saying, "Too much of a good thing"? Trim kiddo! I wouldn't suggest shaving (such a pain!) but I would highly recommend trimming your pubic hair. After you get out of the shower run a comb through your hair--you don't want snarls. Then, with a small pair of scissors, trim your pubs in the same style you would trim a bush (ok, hedges....) You wouldn't walk into a job interview with a shaggy haircut, so don't walk into a blow job with one either. Clean up or no job! Good luck Jen

Masturbation is perfectly normal! To be honest, I wish people maturbated more often--nothing like a self induced orgasm to relieve stress. As far as long term effects--the only thing I ever found was that maturbating too often made it more difficult to reach an orgasm through sex. Try mutual masturbation with your girlfriend. Include it in your foreplay--don't keep it to yourself. Good luck Jen

Let's here it for our guests! Absolutely correct--pregnancy can NOT occur through swallowing during oral sex. But it never hurts to ask, does it? Jen

So ask her why she won't. Does she not like the taste? The feel? Have you told her that you get off on her swallowing? Many women think that their men might be turned off. Do you reciprocate the favor? Do you go down on her and lick every last drop? Maybe a bit of give and take would help you guys. Good luck. Jen

Peeing after sex is always a good idea--it can cut down the the chances of a urinary tract infection (and if you've ever had one you know how much you'd rather avoid one.) As for keeping him from coming, slow down a bit. Most often coming to quickly is from getting too excited. Ease into foreplay, saddle up to sex. Give it to him all at once and he'll do the same! Good luck. Jen

You shouldn't be asking me these questions; you should be asking your boyfriend! You're stressed out because you're not getting sex? Well, maybe he's stressed out because he doesn't know how to keep up with your needs. Sit down with him and simply ask him what is up--don't accuse him. If you don't get an answer your satisfied with than maybe 10 months is enough and it's time to move on. Jen

Advice? Take a hot shower to sooth the muscles and relax after. You should consider yourself lucky--most people have to do situps to get the sore muscles you're getting! Jen