sun_flower969
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Posts posted by sun_flower969
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I have tried direct application including vibrators, fingers, oral, ect.. Once in a while a little engorgement but nothing the way it used to be. Before the birth, third child, I never had a problem with this. In fact, would get turned on and orgasm within minutes. I also never had this happen after the other two children.
I did try Viva yesterday. I didn't find it to be a noticeable difference. However, the reviews did state that sometimes it takes numerous applications before the full effect takes place. I will keep trying that.
I think the hardest thing is I was in a sexless marriage for almost 20 years that ended in a divorce. I am now in a relationship with a man who loves lots of foreplay, lots of oral, and sex three or more times a day. I am doing my best to make up for lost time. He spends plenty of time focused on me and still nothing. Hope this goes away very soon!!
Are there any vitamins that help balance hormones? Other treatments or medications?
This is very interesting! Sorry you are dealing with this!! There are a couple things on the market that are supposed to help with feminine arousal. Some are topical and I have seen some supplements. I have not used any of these so I cannot recommend personally. Here are a few you might want to look into...
I have a 2 year old and after I had him I was very nervous and tense to have sex, because of tenderness, stitches, scars, things feeling different etc. It was definitely an adjustment!! I found I had to really concentrate on relaxing. Like deep breathing closing my eyes relaxing. It helped and in fact I had my first g-spot orgasm during this time! Maybe a glass of wine or something could help get things flowing! Try to get as aroused as possible before hand! Maybe watch a video, masturbate a little before (or a lot) to make sure you are as engorged as you can be. Maybe then things will take off!!
Best wishes to you!!
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ok... so my husband thinks I'm weird because when looking at porn I HATE the guys penis! it makes me just sick... ugh! i hate it so so much. he keeps telling me I should have been a lesbian.. but I LOVE his "man parts" and when i see them, i just want to drool, even when he's not aroused..
oh and the "money shot" in porn, just makes me want to gag!!!
anyone else have these "issues"?
This is completely weird but I don't really enjoy porn. I am actually more interested in lesbian porn than straight porn.
I get that! I used to prefer girl girl porn (when I would watch) also for some reason. I think it was the taboo factor for me. Everyone is different! It's all good!
Ufunny... I think it may be just because you are young... (no offense please!!!) I used to giggle and shy away from looking at a mans penis or get grossed out even. Now, well the mere sight of a hard cock can make me wet!! (and my mouth water!!!
) ...and a money shot DAMN!Sometimes we have hangups we don't even know about! I bet you will see changes the longer you are married, that will surprise you!! I know I have!!!
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I think its fun when you do things outside the normal routine!
Sometimes he will grope me in the kitchen, Some days he has sneaked into the bathroom while I was in there just to make out for a minute with the door locked. Kissing me in public. Whispering the naughty things he wants to do to me later... naughty texting to each other in plain sight, like at the in laws house!! Kinda fun and silly! Definitely gets things flowing!!
Also there have been a couple times where he just grabbed me, bent me over and took me! Now there was not much foreplay but it did NOT take me long to get on board with that kind of show of desire!
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Thought this was a great article!! Empower yourself before you take on a new relationship!
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JHard--
Your post made me want to cry.
I agree with everything Mikayla said.
She did ask if it was just the "oral" that was missing from your relationship.
In reading between the lines and in reading some of your other posts,
I have this feeling that it's not the only thing that's missing.
What your wife is doing is "rejecting YOU", or at least making you feel rejected.
No one wants to feel that way.It makes you feel badly about yourself
and makes you feel as if something is wrong with you.
We all have our needs, wants and desires. It's not being selfish.
You have every right to want to "fuck your wife" and you have every right
to want to have her WANT to perform oral sex.
You are also desiring that "intimate emotional connection".
You tried to find it by paying for it, and there was something missing.
That really says something about you---
It shows that you're not just looking for S-E-X---
You want to be loved and you want to be able to love someone.
You want to be able to love your wife in the way you want to---
whether it's "fucking" her or "making love" to her. It's HER you want to be with.
Now---you just need to somehow get through to her and honestly express how you feel.
Ditto that Wendy!!
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Everyone is aroused in different ways by different things.
I know exactly what turns him on and I will go out of my way to dress
in the way that excites him when we spend time "together"
when we're not having our own "alone time".
And YES......occasionally I will "smoke" for him and "perform".
It makes me feel sexy because I know he loves it and it makes it so much
more exciting for him (and me)
ABSOLUTELY!!! and IMO as it SHOULD be!! Turning him on, knowing he wants me is a HUGE turn on for ME also! Win/win! <3
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Also, Sun, you may have a 'porn free' house, but there are always images that are pornographic to men (and women) that are not actual 'porn.' Just sayin'!
You KNOW it!! LOL some of the most random things get my mind going!
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absolutely!
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no
maybe...
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Hi Rob!
I have to admit, when the forum first changed I did NOT like it.
However, now that I have gotten used to it, and have had a chance to post around and see how the message center works (BTW, love that a little # appears by my name to tell me how many messages I have) I really like it. If I had one complaint, and this may just be on my computer b/c I use a laptop most of the time, it is that the sign-in page is odd. I have to scroll down my screen to get it to appear. I wish it was easier to see, but this is minor I suppose
Thanks for taking an interest in what we all notice / like / dislike!
Mirroring your post! I think it is in fact because you use a laptop because that sign in toolbar thingy is always there at the bottom of the screen on mine...
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Hi Marsha!!
welcome! -
WELCOME!!!
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I think it is looked down upon by the prudish and also because typically. Prostitution is used by men in secret, cheating on their wives. Which again is an unfortunate sign of a bigger issue at home...
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"But what do you think: Is being so stressed out they can't cope why men feel the need to seek out inspirational graphics and take matters into their own hands?"
I didn't really see anything in the article that addressed sex or porn addiction. I mean it just sounded pretty typical. It talked about pros and cons to porn and yadda... I didn't agree or disagree although I do wonder sometimes if "stress" is a real reason to masturbate. I think horniness is! I mean granted I am a woman but if I am stressed the last thing on my mind is, "gee I really need to cum right now" It IS an escape for sure so maybe that's it. However, I prefer to escape with my SO.
It has its place, it can be a good thing in moderation, and it can also be a very bad thing for some people. It all depends on your situation and what you like, I feel. For me, my house is porn free and I am happy with that. Our sex life is crazy, unbelievably satisfying like I never dreamed, in fact... we make our own videos!!
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was wondering if things to worked out or not..
Thanks everyone she stopped her meds and now she is much better. Trying the natural route I guess!
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hmmm... my bf likes a lot of porn an we have a so-so sex life. i never knew about the extent of it until i went to his apt one time and his computer screen saver was just pictures of random girls (some very dirty, some were pics of actresses, and the rest were totally random) i started crying right then and there! i found out later that when i come over he usually changes his screen saver to hide his dirty secret. i sorta accepted that he just doesnt want to have sex much, but when i saw that i couldnt believe that he would rather stare at those women that have sex with me. it still bothers me today...
last night i really wanted to get to the bottom of his low sex drive, and i was very disappointed. i put on a cute garter belt (that he actually bought for me) and matching bra and panties, got to the bedroom and asked him what he likes about having sex... what he likes to do to me, what he wants to do, and what he would like me to do... he was completly clueless. he just said he likes havin' sex, the way it is. i asked if he could be more specific, while i told him a thousand things i like about having sex with him. he couldn't! he completly shut me out and asked why i was interogating him. i started crying and told him how fustrated i was, and he tried to open up more, but i never really got and answers out of him. he told me he doesn't like oral, (either side) and he likes to look at my boobs... i did ask how he felt about toys and he told me he was fine with us bringing a little vibe into bed (awesome!) i told him that if he ever wants to try anything new, to just bring it up, and not be shy. he said he would try.
i thought this would have turned out different! i thought he would tell me his dirty fantasies, and show me that me wants to please me and be pleased by me. but instead i got, "i like boobs". is he just shy, or does he not trust me? or does he really like boring (for me) sex? uhhh... i still has some work to do, but its a start!
does anyone think that porn can contribute to a low sex drive? he told me last night that he thinks if he never looked at porn, our sex life would still be the same... i just dont know about that...
I think the thing that bothers yo the most is the secrecy right? Now most people on here know I have issues with porn... now I am going to TRY not to push my feelings on you...
Porn has its place, yes. It can be fun to incorporate into a relationship and useful for solo time. There is such a thing as too much however and the first indication of that is when it becomes something that divides you instead of unites you.
The hiding... I would feel the exact same way! If he were openly watching or telling you about it then maybe it wouldn't have been such a shock. I think a lot of the time men hide this behavior because of their upbringing etc... They feel it is taboo and deep down feel guilty. Which could also be his issue with oral sex...
Could you feel comfortable enough to watch with him? discussing YOUR fantasies could bring about his! Watching too could inspire you both!
Now about the porn/low sex drive thing... that is tricky... I mentioned too much being a bad thing, well for some people, if they are really sort of 'obsessed' with porn... excessively masturbating looking for more and different and harder-core it is possible for someone to become desensitized. When you are continually looking for stronger stimulation like hardcore porn with crazy situations etc... it can be difficult for some to feel the same way when its just one on one... I am talking about seriously excessive here like, a person would rather masturbate than have sex with a loving partner at any given time. Not a low sex drive per se but an issue nonetheless.
NOT saying this is your situation but it a very real issue out there and since you asked, I wanted to share my thoughts.
Porn in and of itself can be fun but too much of anything can have negative results. Talk about it try to get him to open up about his wants and desires (maybe even via what he is viewing in particular) he might be embarrassed to share, thinking he is weird or dirty or something. Reassure him that you want to do things with/for him. You want to be his porn star!!
Best wishes to you!!
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WELCOME!! We love new friends!!
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Mikayla... Spot on!! Hyokahey also! I think you owe it to yourself to be able to express yourself in bed! If you were to indicate a curiosity or desire and were met with a negative response then I would try to talk about why you are curious etc... And if they still were negative then honestly I'd say maybe move on. Now there may be other factors in a relationship but it's no fun going through life repressed...
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There is always a high desire and low desire partner, and these are relative positions in coupled relationships. Fully 50% of the low desire partners seen in couples counseling re male.
It's funny... I used to be the lower desire partner... Lots of reasons affected me. Now I fully feel we are equal and even sometimes I think he struggles to keep up!
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DOM / SUB:
...The basic idea here is to make HER feel completely idolized and to make both of you very aroused and connected.
TANTRIC:
...Drive your partner crazy so that each and every inch of his or her body is aflame with desire. Then, cuddle up under the blankets and just....be.
Love it!
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Have no idea maybe someone in the know will answer...
Ecstasy... the drug...
The more you know! haha
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Yea Sunny, sometimes subtlety is not a good 'response'!
HA!
I am not sure if you are encouraging me or not but thats ok! 
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hot either way
would it make you hot if I told you I was ready for another round and wanted you to ride my still throbbing cock?
YES! I am infinitely ready! haha
would it make you hot if I let you decide, what next?
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oh yeah!!!
would it make you hot if I asked to watch my cum shoot onto your tongue?
Sure would!
Would it make you hot if I let it leak out over my lips, or swallow it?
) ...and a money shot DAMN!
I am not sure if you are encouraging me or not but thats ok! 
Intimate Discussions
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It is so nice and actually comforting, to see how things have improved for you!
Maybe you should write about the whole journey you have been on, to where you have landed! I know I have had my own personal journey as well and I would be interested to read! 