kraney

Hi, Does anyone out there have the lap-band? I am contemplating getting one. I know that you have to chew and swallow very slowly, so I wonder how that would work with a bj and swallowing. I like to swallow, and my husband likes me to swallow. I don't want to loose that if I get a lap-band, but I don't know how I'd ask the doctor that. Thanks!

Nice article, pappy. So, am I supposed to butter some popcorn so I can smell it, but then not eat it so I can lose weight? Man, that's rough.

Just curious to see how others have experienced these changes in their bodies . . . . Here's a quick background: We got married pretty young (both age 20), and didn't have sex until the big day. I got on the pill a month or so before the wedding. The first few months after getting married were pretty average, I'd say - a couple of inexperienced kids trying to figure it all out. But, not too long into it, I remember asking myself, "what's the big deal?" I didn't want sex, so I never initiated it, and, frankly, did my best to fend off my new hubby. Frequency-wise, I'd say MAYBE once a week, probably closer to twice a month. So, we're married for a few years, finish college, get real jobs. Time to have a baby. I go off the pill . . .and I don't get pregnant. We start keeping charts, timing sex, ovulation kits, etc. Basically, take all the fun out of it. At this point, I still don't remember much of a sex drive, but certainly went through the motions to get pregnant. We start seeing doctors, and find out we need in vitro. Daily ultrasounds, daily shots, a few surgeries here and there - I'm not very concerned about sex. Low and behold, first in vitro cycle works, and I'm finally pregnant. Again, no sex drive. I don't remember wanting anything but sleep at that point. Out comes a beautiful, healthy baby girl, and I start nursing. Doc asks me if I want birth control, we basically laugh at him because of the fertility issues. I go back to work after my 12 weeks, and continue nursing. Still no signs of a sex drive. So, basically, I've gone pretty much my whole marriage without any real semblence of a sex drive. Then, when she's six months old, she stops nursing. And . . .BAM. My missing sex drive finally shows up. So much so, that it's almost scary. I seriously don't recognize myself. But, hubby is obviously happy. Literally, morning, noon (we worked a block away from each other, the car was really close) and night. He's a 24 year old, horny dude that finally gets a willing (and eager!) partner. So, that lasts for roughly a week, and goes away. I'm not really that interested, I really just want to go to sleep. I think that it was nice while it lasted, but now I'm back to my regular old self. Well, guess what? I'm pregnant again. Yeppers, we did it all by ourselves, with a baby that's only six months old. Of course we're elated, but sex again is the furtherst thing from my mind. Hubby jokes that he's glad he had that "one week." Out comes another beautiful, healthy baby girl. Doc asks me if I want birth control this time, and I say, "sign me up!" However, I wanted to try something different, as I have an hunch the pill is what killed my sex drive before I even knew it existed. I get the Mirena IUD after baby #2. I quit my job this time so I can stay home, so she gets to nurse a little longer. Nine months old, she stops nursing. And . . . .BAM. Sex drive flares again. This time, I think I even scare my hubby. Literally cannot stop obsessing about sex. I find TT, and order a big box of goodies (at least for our one-income budget). I plan weekends away from the kids just so we can have sex all day. Again, hubby is elated. Now, second baby is 18 months old, and it seems that sex drive is here to stay. I'd say we have sex maybe 5 times a week. The biggest problem is sleep deprivation (two toddlers, he commutes 2 1/2 hours every day). But, if we're rested, we're screwing. Sex has definately been more interesting than it ever has, and we're both loving it! Last night involved a carton of ice cream (thank you Schwan's man!). So, here's what I'm curious about: Has anyone experience the same problems being on the pill? I'm pretty sure I was on ortho-trycylen (sp?), but I'm not entirely sure, as it's been a few years. This IUD has been an absolute godsend. I'm not affected hormonally and my insurance actually covered it, so because it only had the one time fee at the beginning, it was actually cheaper than about 6 months of BC pills. Plus, I don't get periods, so I guess you could add in the savings for not buying tampons, too! Has anyone experienced a huge sex drive immediately after stopping nursing? For me, it was about a day or two after the last nursing session. I wasn't even entirely dried up, just didn't have enough to make it worth while. At least the second time we were prepared for what was happening. It seems that a lot of folks on here maintain a good sex drive during pregnancy, but that didn't seem to be the case for me. We're removing my IUD in two weeks, and we'll just see what happens. We've said we won't do fertility work again, so maybe we'll end up with more kids, maybe we won't. If I get pregnant again, I'm a little nervous about my friend Mr. Sex Drive disappearing again. At least this time I'll be able to look forward to him returning again after nursing. Thoughts? Holy crap, that post got long! Sorry . . . .

For anyone intersted: I went to my appt yesterday, and the doc said I probably had an internal hemorrhoid bothered by anal sex. We went through all my family history, any other problems I might be having, and my regular BM schedule. He said I was too young for anything "evil," so he didn't even examine me. He said the fact that the blood came quickly, and then stopped quickly (my BM [bowel movement] yesterday right before my appt had no blood) was a good indicator that it was an internal hemorrhoid that was just aggravated. Apparantly internal hemorrhoids have no nerve endings, which is why I wouldn't be feeling anything. I am to lay off anal sex for a week, keep him posted if anything changes, and I should be good to go. Woohoo! So, thanks to all who responded. Mikayla - good instincts!

I own the Smooth Jelly Plug that can be purchased off this site (sorry, tried to post the link but am evidently doing it wrong). It's priced at $3.95 and is pink. I don't think it comes out once in place. We've used it for DP, and if it does slide out a bit, it's not all bad when I'm being done from behind, because that just means it gets pushed in and out. I have been able to wear it while walking around the house, and it seems to stay put. It's not to big if you're new to anal, plus, it's pretty cheap so it's hard to go wrong. I also own a larger plug called the Anal Stuffer. I purchased it from this site, but I don't think it's available here any more. I'm sure you could find it if you just Google it. I think I've seen it else where for around $10. It has a stronger smell, but I don't generally mind that. It is quite a bit bigger and has four bulbs. I would definately not start with this one, but would work up to it. It generally stays in place once inserted. We've used this for DP once before, and it was almost difficult for my hubby to insert himself because the plug was so big. We haven't used it for DP again, but it works well for all other sorts of play. I would recommend either. They're both pretty cheap, and I think they stay in place well.

Sorry, one thing I didn't answer. No, my BMs have not been hard lately at all. In fact, everything has been completely normal regarding frequency, consistency, etc.

Thanks, Mikayla and Katprr, for your replies. Frankly, I'm a bit honored to get a reply directly from you two (I've been lurking a long time)! Do you think I could have internal hemorrhiods without any pain what so ever? Why do you suppose they would be aggravated now and never before? Do you suppose it has anything to do with having two kids in the last 2 1/2 years (who, by the way, are having popcorn for lunch right now so I can type!)? Katprr - when you went to the doctor, what sort of exam was done? Did you have to go to a GI specialist, or just your regular PCP? Basically, I'm trying to find out if I'll end up with a colonoscopy, because the nurse mentioned that when I called in for my appt this morning. I'm not whining because I think it'd be uncomfortable (again, I'm used to things up there), but I'd really rather not pay for it. Also, I'm 99% postitive it had nothing to do with lack of lube. I don't want to toot my own horn, but I think we've gotten pretty good at this, and we have a pretty good idea when we need more lube. On many occasion, we've stopped to add more. I think we've got a good feel for it, literally. The fingernail thing is a possibility, but my hubby usually keeps things fairly trimmed. There are times when his nails get away from him (the kids are sick and you get ZERO time to take care of yourself), but he's usally pretty good about it. Sorry, I know I have lots of questions and you guys aren't medical professionals, but you're so helpful! You make me feel better, at least!

Hi all - I've been visiting and reading for a long time, but just joined to make this post. Thanks to all who have given advice! So, my hubby and I have anal sex fairly regularly, maybe 2 or 3 times a month. We use good lube (Astroglide, thanks to this website), and have always started with fingers/small toy to warm up before we go with the penis. My hubby is amazing, and only does what I want him to do regarding speed, penetration, etc. When we do anal with his penis, I'm always able to take his full length, usally doggie style. We have several anal specific toys and use them for DP more often than just straight vaginal sex. I don't know if I'm an expert with regards to anal sex, but I'm far from a novice. Basically, I'm trying to say that we've been doing this for a while, and, as far as I know, have been doing it correctly. So, here's my problem: Disclaimer - this may be gross, but I don't know where else to ask these questions. Everyone here seems so knowledgeable and willing to help, so I came here. Plus, the whole anonymity part that helps! So we had anal last Thursday. I had a BM on Friday, and there was no blood. But, starting Saturday, and every day since then, I've had blood with my BM. After previous anal sessions, I might have a little blood on the tissue with BM, but not much at all. Generally, for a day or two after full on anal sex, I can "feel" that we've been doing something back there, but nothing hurts. Nothing has hurt this time, either. However, there has been quite a bit of bright red blood. Like, turning the water fairly deep red. So, before you ask, I've made an appointment with my regular practitioner for this afternoon. However, I just wanted to see if I could get some advice and/or opinions. Has this happened to anyone else? It's weird because there is literally no pain, none in my stomach/abdomen, and none around my hole with the BM. My greatest fear is that they're going to tell me that I can't have anal sex anymore. What will I do then?? My hubby feels terrible because he thinks that he hurt me, and I'm afraid he'll never stick anything in my ass, let alone his dick, which I don't think I can do without! Can anyone give me some advice or tell me that I won't have to give up anal sex??