Thor???

Thanks pappy

Thanks pappy. I breathe hope. Glad you can't say anything bad - I didn't come here looking for that and a few posts have rubbed me wrong. She may want a divorce - but I'm still in love. I'm confused, but not about still feeling protective.

Thanks jhard - but I think I'm going to need anew rule for posts. Nothing else that makes me cry - Gods don't cry.

Thanks Mikayla- I appreciate your good wishes and those of all the others who have written to offer them to this relative unknown. I was only the Thor in the popular Thorsnymph until now and I really do thank you all for the insights, prayers, and good wishes. I have said before that I felt nymph's activity on this site was good for her. She has made many new friends and learned a great deal about herself. It was also good for us as I got to help with experiments. From my point of view we were growing closer than ever with a brighter future than ever. If there was a problem with 'enlightenment' I'm sure it had nothing to do with this site. I have heard only positive things from nymph, have read several very informative and helpful threads, and continue to believe that nymph's activity here has had only positve effects on her - and us. Whatever this is - it's not all of you. In fact - it seems to be me.

You are probably right about the hospitalization Iha. Your previous post made me look at my entire relationship of 10 years i na new light. There is no doubt I've sublimated myself to serve her and made my living all about pleasing her. I had given up when we met and she slowly coaxed me back to the light - convinced me to trust again, and gave me 10 awesome years. I never reestablished a sense of self outside of our relationship and this sudden and unexpected loss has me in worse shape than before we met. I know I have other responsibilities - the thought of my mom mourning keeps me here, and I can continue to function by playing numb - but it is not life. I'll let the 'manipulative' comment lie where it belongs. I'm not a fool to think she would respond to remote manipulation when she doesn't respond to genuine remorse, grief, and protestations of undying love. I can see where the sugggestion is legitimate in your profession - and you don't know me - so it's ok, just wrong. Unfortunately - nothing is working. All I have is my view of our past and my dreams of our future and they clearly don't align well with hers. I am equally unable to give you any input on her side of the story - and unwilling to give you more of mine. I didn't start this thread to trash her or plead my case to a jury that can't affect the outcome. I was grasping at straws in the hope that someone would have been hearing something from her that would give me a glimmer of light - a place to start from. It seems she has kept it to herself with all of you as much as she has from me. I couldn't be sorrier, sadder, more adrift.

I'm very sorry to have given you that impression of the woman who has been everything to me. Iha's post (and Mikayla's) were too close to the truth when they described the pitfalls of living for/through someone else. My life has revolved around making her happy because I feel I owe her my life - and happiness. To go from 10 years of awesome memories and 30 years of plans and dreams to the end of life as I know it is an unbearable shock - made worse by the realization that there is nothing I can do to fix it. There won't be any answers - and I can't force her to talk to me. What good would that do? I just need to find out if theere is any of me left without her. I'm afraid not.

Spoken like the damaged goods you (we) are. I'm still here - no one is more surprised than I - maybe we should get the charter meeting of the club planned.

Hello Iha - Never had the chance to introduce myself before. You should know that I was very pleased with your professionalism a few months ago when confronted by a most difficult situation. You handled it as I knew you would, professionaly and with tact. Thank you. I'm surprised that you and Mikayla seem too defensive to look at the fact that I am not saying anything about my "side" of the story that would cast aspersions on our beloved Nymph. It is because I know that she has had extensive discussions with some of you that I made this plea for information regarding her very sudden change towards me. Often a person will open up more to friends or even acquaintances than to those closest to them - especially in matters like this. I'm sorry you didn't have anything more constructive to offer as I was secretly counting on one of you to enlighten me a little so I could try to fix this. Surely you are aware of how good our relationship was through her writings. Her association with this site has made the past year or so the best we ever had - in many ways - until the past couple of months of withdrawal and moodiness. I didn't expect to check this site again - but I survived another day and your succinct comment cried out for a reply.

She spoke to me last night - briefly. Just walked in and said she was getting a divorce. I want to thank you all for your insights and encouragement - but I won't be needing them anymore. I especially want to thank those of you who have become close to nymph through this forum. She values the friends made here and I've seen the smiles she gives the computer as she types responses to you all. I hope you will continue to support her in the coming weeks as I'm sure she will need it. Goodbye

We'll have to round up the survivors and form a club.

I was married for 3 years to a woman I thought would be my wife for life. I knew she had a checkered past - but it was WAY past. More than 15 years earlier she had been an exotic dancer and done hard drugs regularly in a state halfway across the country from where we lived. I was working with the family business and had a lot of time at home but occasional out of state trips. After 4 years of knowing her very well - knowing her friends - watching her with her young teenage daughter I felt pretty good about our future. While on a job out of state we developed a little trouble. I sent home over $3000 in three weeks and called every night from the hotel. After the first two nights - I never spoke to her again from the job. I still called every night and her daughter (13 at the time) always told me I just missed her - she was shopping or getting the oil changed in the car, or something. By the time I got home my wife was a daily cocaine user and frequent marijuana user. She had moved her 24 year old drug dealer boyfriend into our house. She had spent the $3000 and more than $15,000 on credit cards in our name to maintain the lifestyle she and all her new friends wanted - while leaving her daughter alone in an empty house with little or no food for 5-6 days in a row. I know what that kind of problem looks like and I'm convinced that there is nothing like that going on here. Still... there is no confronting someone who won't speak to you, and the lack of a good reason for this crushing loss makes it worse in some ways. I barely survived the last one - it took Thorsnymph to save me. What now...

I'll combine replies to Tyger and Mikayla as you both gave me a lot to think about. While I won't try to go through what has happened page by page or why I feel so completely shut out of her life today it is important to know that I have considered everything you've mentioned. Trust me - solving problems is what I do - it gives me the drive to keep going when things are tough. I have always thrived under impossible projects or deadlines. My problem now is that in just the last 2-3 months I have lost all ability to communicate - and I have received no idea what or what can be done. In fact, I have been told it is hopeless, I won't understand, she probably won't date after me, well... maybe not for a year. I still love her with all the love I ever felt for anyone - more than I can afford to lose. I would do anything to regain the unbelievable relationship we had such a short time ago - but I'm the only one interested. Yeah - I'm sad, depressed. She has also been displying the classic signs of depression for weeks - frequent naps (I on the other hand - can't sleep), general moodiness - especially in my presence. My favorite sound in the world is her laugh and despite my best efforts it had been weeks since I heard it. Several days ago I heard her sparkling laugh peal out of the living room while she was watching TV. I came up the stairs and stood where I could see the happiness on her face. When she saw me looking - rain clouds descended again -as if she didn't even want me to know that she could be happy. Someone said it sounds like I put her on a pedestal. That's close but not quite right. She has been the most wonderful, amazing person I've ever known. Pleasing her has been a huge part of my life's ambition since she rescued what was left of me several years ago. I don't think it has been unhealthy for me or stressful for her - she used to like it and comment often on the benefits of me over her ex. Look - I'm running off at the keyboard and I wasn't going to. I apologize to anyone who has taken offense and thinks that I am trying to diminish the image Thor'sNymph has attained here. All I want is to fix whatever it is and move on. It's our 7th Anniversary today - I just want to cry.

'fraid so. Love your picture - almost makes me smile to see a fellow nordic god. Can you imagine doing the photography on those shoots - seeing the smiles the camera gets - that I can't. Not to mention the rest of what I'm seeing that no longer has any interest in me. She says she has expanded her mind but it doesn't seem to have made her happy... and it's destroying me.

Thanks for the advice. I'm just so frustrated. I have made my life about pleasing her and solving her problems and I've been amply rewarded with the opportunity to be near her. Now there is some kind of problem that threatens the foundations of my world... and I can't even get a description of it - let alone find a way to fix it. I can't sleep and my stomach is ALWAYS upset. In just a couple of months I've gone from being the God of Thunder to some kind of insignificant but annoying insect. It's our Anniversary today... I start my new job in a few minutes... I'm just so very tired. Your comments give me hope - at least now I have something.

Thanks for the "hug". It's been a long time.