DADT
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Posts posted by DADT
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WTF, a guy goes on sabbatical for a while and everyone gets all pouty.
Gals, when the BF/Hubby is administering oral relief does it drive you nuts if he makes eye contact & stops to tell you how good you taste & feel & what he's going do to you next? Or does that make you feel self-conscious?
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To make a very long story as short as possible....
I was at a dance competition over the weekend. The guy (who I thought was a friend) I was dancing with for some of the time essentially called me fat, gave me a hard time for refusing to sleep in the same bed as him, and pressed himself against me when I told him I wasn't comfortable doing some of the more intimate dances with him. (I have self esteem issues as it is, don't need to be called fat. I know I am a bit. Don't need you to tell me. >.<)
Then he got to "correcting" my mistakes (he's danced for less time than I have.... and I KNOW my damn tango, thank you very much)....
He would ram me into couples as we were dancing, purposefully block them from moving, and swear if we messed up (all in front of the judges).
THEN he got to cursing at me if I didn't catch his lead into steps, shaking me by the shoulders, grabbing my arm forcefully, and crushing my hand as he led me on and off the dance floor.
I broke down after a point and the situation is going to the university group in charge of club sports. He will probably be off the team.
What on EARTH makes it seem even remotely ok for someone to do this?
Guys: I will personally kick your ass if you do this to a woman.
Ladies: DON'T TOLERATE IT, EVEN THE LITTLE THINGS! All I could think through this is that thank GOD I wasn't dating this jackass! If he ever gets a girlfriend she will be black and blue!
You can say everything you need to by just walking off the dance floor the minute such a comments is made. No drama. Just a calm "I can't dance with you. You make me uncomfortable. I'm leaving." You've kept your dignity, and you've stopped the abuse right when it started. Works for dating too.
If you "flip out" you give the guy the excuse to say "That bitch is a psycho." Don't give him the satisfaction. Plus you with absorb the upset which will leave a psychic scar. If you keep your cool and quietly extract yourself from the situation, he will be the one wondering "What just happened?" And you walk away with your pride & self-esteem intact, and most likely a strong sense of self-satisfaction that you didn't let a creep get to you. Make sense?
Why do some guys do this? Probably learned it from their Dads or older brothers. And because they tend to find girls who will let them. So girls stop these guys in their tracks.
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This doesn't even begin to show my contempt here!
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http://www.foxnews.com/wires/2009Apr21/0,4...eDeaths,00.html
Records: 14 kids die in 2008 on LA County's watch
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
LOS ANGELES — Nearly half of the Los Angeles County children who died last year from abuse and neglect were from families under the watch of child welfare officials, records show.
The heavily redacted records, released Monday after a California Public Records Act request by the Los Angeles Times, include previously confidential medical records, family services documents and police reports.
They show that the families of 14 of the 32 children who died in the county in 2008 from abuse and neglect, including physical assault and malnourishment, were under the scrutiny of Children and Family Services and should have been known to social workers.
Ten of those cases are under investigation and could result in disciplinary action.
The deaths include a boy who died of multiple skull fractures whose family had been reported 25 times to child welfare, and a child who died the day after a social worker's last visit.
In one case, a 2-year-old girl who weighed less than 19 pounds at her death _ a weight suitable for a 5-month-old _ died of what an autopsy determined was "severe nutritional neglect." In another case, a 1-year-old girl left alone with her mother despite a court order requiring that visits be monitored died of what investigators said was trauma "consistent with being thrown or slammed against a hard surface." The mother said the girl fell down the stairs.
County Supervisor Gloria Molina said discipline and training are lacking in a department that has seen persistent problems.
"These are shocking cases," Molina told the newspaper. "The biggest problem is that no lessons are learned."
Trish Ploehn, director of the department, said the county's review of child deaths has been insufficient because of a lack of personnel.
An independent monitor position charged with identifying problems in the department has been left vacant by supervisors for more than a year.
Ploehn said the workers involved in the 10 cases under investigation are doing desk jobs until the cases are resolved.
Such family records are usually kept from public view, but a new state law last year relaxed restrictions and made their release possible.
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Information from: Los Angeles Times, http://www.latimes.com/
So can I infer from this that if you were a California resident that you would be first in line to offer to raise your taxes so that a first class child welfare system could be implemented? Child abuse is disgusting, but it seems not quite disgusting enough to overcome citizens' reluctance to pay for the services needed to protect children. Too bad we can't require people who will make unfit parents to use contraception. Sadly, that is un-Constitutional.
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I understand what you are saying there DadT, but some in your list would be like saluting welfare recipients for leeching from the rest of us. Granted some of them actually need the help, but we all know know how many would be pissed if you hid that welfare check under their work boots!
There are many in society that have earned and deserve recognition and many of them get it from their colleagues. But in these times it seems like an empty gesture more than recognition.
BTW, there are very few soldiers that I would salute, I know what that implies and real soldiers despise it! Very few officers are respected and only those who are proven would get a salute from me. (The rest of us worked for a living!).
Have you ever met or spoken to anyone who receives AFDC or Section 8 housing (Welfare)? I have. The vast majority of these mothers are Caucasian woman under the age of 25 whose BFs left them when they got pregnant. So I'm going to ask you and others to be careful when you throw terms like "leeches" around. They hate being on welfare more than you hate paying for it. But they are usually very poorly educated, so cannot get jobs that provide benefits and allow them to pay for day care.
We should really be exasperated at the fact that we haven't found a way to educate the underclass so that they can take care of themselves long term.
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A lot of those in your list we do take for granted, however some of that list will never get my support or respect!
Free country. Salute as many or as few as you like. My point was that there are a fair number of folks among us who make unnoticed sacrifices for the benefit of the rest of us.
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Ok, I've heard the "put your finger in there like a hook and point it toward the ceiling" thing lots of times, and I've tried and tried to find it myself. To no avail. I can't find the rough spot. Is it possible I don't have one? That would be a bummer.
You have one. Try having him lick you until you feel like you are half way towards a "clitoral orgasm." You will be nice & lubricated. Then have him insert his index, hooking the tip of his finger towards the ceiling. Then he should brush the finger tip gently back and forth. His should be a patch that has a slightly spongy, rough texture. You should feel like little devils are dancing in your pussy. Worth further research don't you think?
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I have a mountain of respect for anyone who volunteers to put themselves in harm's way. But can we spread the love a bit further? There are plenty of people to salute who give of themselves and to society who are non-military. So lets make a point of saluting: teachers; nurses; fire fighters; medical researchers; mental health professionals; social work professionals; people who volunteer to coach kids at sports or even how to read; foster parents; "Doctors Without Borders"; Green Peace; NSPCC; NSPCA; Bill Moyers.
I look forward to the day when we figure out how to be part of the global community without dispensing Purple Hearts, observing solemn funerals at Arlington Cemetery, or overwhelming the capacity of VA Hospitals. When that day comes God will have truly Blessed America.
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OK, a couple weeks ago I posted for some advice, as I am trying to drive a bit of a sexual renaissance in my house. Haven't posted since then. Things are going OK.
As I mentioned then, I was planning a little birthday sex fest for him. The birthday is next week. Here's my preliminary plan. I'd like feedback and additional ideas.
I'm taking the day off work. All 3 kids are gone for the night (a feat of amazing proportions!) I will get the house nice and clean--nothing like clutter and laundry around to remind us of the things I don't want him to be thinking about. Lots of candles in various rooms, especially the rooms we never use for sex. Send him off to work with a birthday card and tell him to read it on the train or when he gets to his office. The card says I have a surprise for him tonight, but the day is all about anticipation. The rule is he can't call me all day (our phone conversations are never sexy), but he can email or text me. And I'll enclose a naughty pic of me in the card so he can have a little preview of what's up. Then I'm going to send him more pics of me a couple more times in the day, with sexy messages that he is supposed to respond to in some way. (although I'm not sure this will work b/c I'm a little paranoid about sending that stuff to his work email b/c it's pretty well filtered and monitored. I might have to send actual prints, and just tell him not to open the envelopes until I instruct him to do so.)
He gets home, there are no kids in the house and I'm wearing a really slinky chemise and fuck me shoes, probably no underwear. He sits down, we have a drink and maybe a little blowjob. I've made him dinner, which we eat by candlelight, and we leave the dishes. Then we get down to business in the aforementioned rooms of the house that we are never able to use, and we can make as much noise as we want--also a novelty. I can introduce him to my new toys, which are not all that exotic, but it's something new. We have lots of time, so I want the whole thing to last as long as possible.
Questions: is it over the top? I am really into having the sexual energy level at code red all the time, even when there's no possibility of having sex, because I think it makes the sex, when we do get there, more amazing. But he's not exactly as hot as I am in that way. (Is that just a guy thing--he doesn't need the buildup?) So, is he going to be psyched getting that sort of attention at work, or is it an unwelcome distraction? In the past I've been a bit shy/inhibited. This horny sexy me is new, so I sort of feel like I'm going out on a limb. Thumbs up or down?
Philosophically your plan rocks. But I have a lot of technical & gender based issues. For one thing, why are you letting him go to work on his birthday?
How much feedback do you want?
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OK I just saw your pics on another thread. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? THE YOUNG MAN IS GOING TO DEVOUR YOU. I GUARANTEE IT.
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This guy I've recently started dating suggested when I see him next that we do a massage. Of course I love that idea, I mean I'm an athlete and my body always aches, a good rub down by a sexy man might do me some good. But he wants to make it a little more erotic and sexual [which I'm game for] but brings me to my question...
how do you ladies if you've done it before, get comfortable enough to just take it off and get that rub down youve always wanted.
It's a little nerve wrecking, if he doesnt like my body or what he sees.
Missy, he decided long ago that he likes your body. He wants to feel your skin so bad that he actually asked you to do this. You should have no worries about how you look or how your body will feel to him. Spend your time thinking about what you want him to do and what hot spots to focus on. Unless you just ran a 10K & haven't showered in days, he will love how you feel, smell, and taste.
All that leaves is sound. If he is driving you crazy & teasing you mercilessly, you must absolutely, positively, leave no shadow of a doubt in his mind that he is making you feel fabulous. So give him lots of "Mmmm yes keep doing that" or "please stroke me there, it drive me nuts" or "kiss & bite me a bit harder right there." Be vocal for 3 reasons. First, he'll need the direction on what make you feel great. Second, nothing turns a man on more than positive, verbal feedback. Third, as athlete, you are probably quite assertive. Why not carry that into the bedroom?
So don't be shy or embarrassed or self-conscious. He will feel like the luckiest man alive. Go ahead and give him a finale full of "OMG you're making me..........." and just scream whatever it is you scream when you reach that happy place.
Have a great time.
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I always wondered about this and it left me with confusion. When you're getting fingered and it feels like you have to pee, does that mean you're getting close to a orgasm? It's been a long time for me since I've done anything sexual and this happened to me. Can someone help me out here and explain cause I always feel like I have to pee when it starts feeling good.
Maybe not super close to orgasm, but perhaps on the right path. Do you know where your G-Spot is? Try inserting your index finger like a hook with the finger tip pointing up towards the "ceiling." Can you find a patch that has a slightly rough texture? If you rub that a bit how does it feel? Nice but a feeling of having to pee? Congratulations. Make sure you show Mr. Right when you meet him.
Warning: these orgasms can be intense and rather sudden. So if you are a strong, physical girl, do give your partner the "heads up" that he may want to be on the look out for sudden, vigorous arm & leg movements. Best to avoid accidental concussions, at least on the 1st date.
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Stop it. You are telling me you are going from "Hmmm shall I have minestrone or tomato soup for dinner" to "Help, I'm going to cum" in 30 secs. Rubbish.
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Jeepers! Are you guys gerbils? Must have genitals built by Ferrari! My sneezes last longer than that. Does it hurt to cum that quickly?
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I found TT randomly. I saw an ad in a magazine and my curiosity was peaked. Checked out the website. Saw the forums link and found a whole new universe. A lot of smart & interesting people having grown-up discussions about a subject very dear to me. That's what keeps me coming back.
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Hmmm....I like this thread. For me? Yeah, touching me all over can be nice and fun. Feeling your chest rise and fall with your every breath makes me insanely happy and quite in need.
However.
When I do the touching, sometimes it's even more powerful than receiving. ESPECIALLY if he's got a little shadow on his face and I can grate my teeth ever so gently across it or run the edges of my nails tenderly through the tiny hairs. Just a time or two. OOooohhhh, and it's pert near instantaneous. Take me, and take me now, if you please. Even if you don't please, do it for me anyway, okay? As I favor. That's all I ask. That's not too bad, right? I mean, I'll make it up to you later. I just need some relief NOW!!! Okay? Thank you!!!!! hahaha. Yes, moments like those are when I'm liable to either plead or pounce. Fine. Probably pounce. Happy now? You caught me.
And I thought all those massages were you being self-less. I feel so used. But for me that's a good thing. I was going to shave, but I think I'll skip it. OK I've braced myself. Pounce Away!
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I never feel I'm good at anything.
I'm a little over halfway done with university and I have gone from science to an English major. I feel miserable because everything I do is wrong or really bad. I love to read and write, I honestly thought I wasn't good at much else, which is right. I'm stuck in a tough spot, do I stay in a field I love and THOUGHT I was good at? It's just frustrating to see your work ripped a part repeatedly...over and over with only baby steps of improvement. It is tough, college isn't supposed to be easy. I understand, it's just taking a gal and beating em down when they can't even stand upright. I feel really defeated, depressed, and worried that I just might not have what it takes to do well in anything. I feel lazy and lethargic because I am so emotionally drained from this semester. It's been a whirlwind indeed. This semester has been why I haven't been on this forum or able to do much else, I'm swamped with work. literally. =/
Don't mean to annoy, just needed to get my stresses out.
Missy:
Every writer has felt that way. Its part of the "tortured existence" you signed up for. Read the fine print on the brochure again. It says quite clearly that you sit down at the keyboard and "open a vain."
Darling M: please look the other way for a minute. No really, go look somewhere else.
Missy: I know it would be wonderful if your "children" were praised and loved as much by others as they are by you. But to actually become a good writer, you have to submit to the process. That means every syllable, comma, and sentence structure is up for critical evaluation. And its not always going to sound nice. I promise you every writer has gone through this. Some for their whole career. But if you know you have to write then just keep writing.
And next time the professor is mean just say to your self "I bet he has a tiny dick & couldn't get lucky if he fell into a barrel of tits." The have a glass of Pinot Gregio, say "fuck everyone," and write a masterpiece. Works every time.
JUST DON'T GIVE UP. ITS JUST ONE TOUGH SEMESTER.
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I think the most erotic thing a woman ever did for me was to lean over the table when we were out to dinner and say, "I want you to put your cock in my mouth and then I want you to fuck me." We were out for an evening and I had just asked her what she wanted to do after dinner. I nearly fell out of my chair, and I'll tell you I could not wait to get home! I was surprised because it was about our fourth or fifth date and we had only had sex once. Had a lot of fun with that girl while it lasted, but I don't think she ever touched me above the waist in a sensual way.
Only thing better is if she pulls that at breakfast. No time pressure.
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Touch doesn't do a whole lot for me. Maybe stroking my neck, but it needs to be accompanied by some talk. I love to be touched anywhere, but it isn't erotic unless she tells me sex is what's on her mind. Does that make sense?
Talk works wonders for getting me going.
Makes perfect sense. In fact, don't even bother touching me. All she has to do is tell me how she wants me to drink my own cum out of her pussy & why she digs that & I'm an instant Love Monkey. Oh alright, I guess it feels nice to have my buns squeezed while I'm getting a BJ.
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just a curious question for the guys (but would love to hear the ladies responses as well)
What really drives you nuts/gets your attention when your woman touches you? This excludes the obvious penis and balls area. Do you go crazy when she sucks on your ear? What atypical thing get you attention
lill
Lilly, thank heavens. A question we can really sink our teeth into.....if you like that sort of thing.
If I could, I would actually disconnect my ears, neck, and nipples from my nervous system during sex. I know women like those areas touched, stroked, licked, kissed....did I forget anything?......but those areas aren't "hot spots" on me. Does nothing for me. Sorry.
You want to make me hard as a rock? Well talking to me about how hot you feel & how much you dig what you think I'm going to do to you gets the blood flowing. If she is looking me right in my eyes while stroking my cock and telling me all manner of naughty things I will give my "Undivided...."
Then if she puts some fingers in her pussy so I can watch while she is still stroking my cock I will have lazer attention. If she pops those same fingers in my mouth every so often, I'll start to feel the electricity flow in my balls.
Nice squeezes of the butt cheeks & nails gently applied to the back of the thighs can enhance the experience when done right. Just nice to be pampered.
But really girls, if you show us what excites you, our brain, cock & balls will respond accordingly. At least for me.
Have a nice day, Capt. Erogenous
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Good thing she didn't come to us with a real problem. She needed help at Xmas
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Where does all our curiosity & thirst for knowledge come from? When do you have your best thought about what we should discuss at TT?
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Sorry it took so long to check back in. I have relatives in town staying at my house...
You probably won't believe this, but my husband was actually my "first" ANYTHING. I was 25. But, it wasn't at all reserved once I decided to go for it and actually have sex. In fact, it was quite the opposite. I saw it as making up for lots and lots of lost time, and I ran the poor guy ragged
I just wanted to try everything and was up for pretty much anything. I can't pinpoint what it is. I love sex. Masturbation feels great. Oral sex (on me) just doesn't really feel good. It's more awkward feeling than anything. I'm definitely not in love with my body and am a little self-conscious, but not so much that I think it would make me hate this so much. I'm totally fine with doing it to him (I love it, in fact). But, I just cringe when he wants to do it to me.
Anyway, I'm going to finish reading through responses, and will check back in. Thanks for all the advice!
How aroused are you when his tongue first makes contact? Is he spending lots of time stroking and caressing just about everywhere else before he touches your love button. If he is going in on a cold one then it is not surprising you aren't excited about being licked.
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You need a license to have a dog, but anyone can have a kid if they want to.
There are few things more disgusting that neglecting and/or abusing a child. And the frustrating thing is, becoming a ward of the State would be no bargain either.
I can only imagine some of the terrible things you see. But that goodness someone is there for these kids.
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pretty sure the men will love this:
Keep your partner at the 'plateau phase'. If you feel he's about to cum, push on his perineum and stop massaging his penis for a few seconds. when you begin again, his sensation will build and build - and his orgasm, when you permit it, will/can be really intense.
I need to get a membership to the same Self-Help Library you belong to.
I just wanted to try everything and was up for pretty much anything. 
Letter To My Husband
in Dating and Relationships
Posted
Hello S:
I read your post. My heart goes out to you. You are very angry, hurt, and above all desperate for change. With good cause. Having said that, don't send the letter to your husband. He will not suddenly become enlightened and respond the way you want him to. Rather, it will become another example of how you have become an intolerable person to live with & make him withdraw further from you. And do yourself a favor and make sure that he doesn't find out that you vented to strangers on TT looking for answers.
So what should you do? Well keep talking to people here. A lot of us know what you are facing. We can sympathize, empathize, perhaps give you something to think about.
Here's something you might want to try. Go to Amazon.com, and pick a book by William F. Hadley, PhD. He has written some very good books about marital problems that get at the fundamental differences between men and woman and how to reconcile them to strengthen a couple's relationship. He isn't writing for the mildly dissatisfied. He is writing for people who feel like they are in a hopeless rut & loveless marriage. I've read his books "His Needs, Her Needs" and "Love Busters." Both explain clearly what it is that men and woman do to each other that weakens relationships, and he provides guidance on how to correct that.
http://www.amazon.com/Willard-F.-Harley/e/...t_athr_dp_pel_1
Look, this is unfair, but as the woman you will often have to carry more than your fair share of the emotional burden. Many young men are not equipped to deal with complex emotional needs, their own or anyone else's. They just weren't taught to understand what women's needs were all about. Opening up and being vulnerable can be quite frightening to some men. Men are supposed to be strong. Men are supposed to be sure. Men are supposed to provide for their family. So each time you go to him with one of your concerns (justified as they may be) he hears "You aren't a real man." Sounds like BS? Read one of the books. You will see.
Another thing to do is look for free help locally. Perhaps there is a local women's group that might provide a forum to air your feelings & discuss them with other women. Sometimes just knowing you are not the first person to encounter such problems relieves some of the cumulative despair that has built up within you.
You loved each other once. You can love each other again. There are just things that you have to know and grow to accept about each other, before that feeling can live and breath again.
Before I go I'm going to leave you with this song. It will allow you to have a really good, sobbing, heaving, cry. It will be an emotional release. Not as fun as an orgasm, but beneficial all the same.
Good Luck, D