honeysuckle

I was hoping that if we persevered with the stop start we would end up seeing some results as i've read online it's curable. I just wanted to know if anyone knew from personal experience. If i can find a way to bring it up i'll try to mention cock rings - i dont think he'll like the idea but he might go for it. As for him masturbating before hand i don't thik it's very practical when we're having sex like 4 times a week what with uni and jobs theres no time to plan it out. Also from what he's said before i think it would lower his sex drive... as sometimes he has trouble getting hard the second time around. We have some de-sensitizing condoms we use occassionally but i havent noticed a big difference. Another thing i've been thinking about after reading around on this site is that he very rarely gives me oral. I think i've never bothered about it because i've never experienced it done well so i don't know what i'm missing. I've never come from it and i cant explain to him what i'd like him to do as i dont really know myself. The few times he's done it it has felt like theres too much friction and hurt more than anything. i think he's sensed that i'm never really into it and has stopped. He will sometimes do it if he is drunk or hasn't seen me in a while. I do kind of feel selfconscious when he does it as i'm not used to it and not really enjoying it and neither is he. Seems an obvious thing we should work on doesn't it.

I've been with my boyfriend for a year now. For the first 6 months i thought our sex life was great. i hadn't had a lot of experience of sex before him so i never saw the signs that he was experiencing problems and to me everything was new and exciting. I've just turned 21 and he's the same age. a couple of months ago i noticed we were having sex less often (we live together in a student house btw) and it was over quicker. He would turn me down when i tried to initiate sex saying he was tired so i confronted him. he told me he has always had premature ejaculation and past girlfriends have been horrible about it. he says alcohol helps and i've realised he used to drink very often throughout the week. A lot of his past behaviour suddenly made sense to me We've talked about it a few times and each time nothing gets resolved - the convo just goes round in circles. He went to the doctors about it once and was basically fobbed off and told there was nothing he could do. now i've done a lot of research on the web and i've started doing the stop start method while giving him a bj for the past couple of weeks- we're trying to do this 3 times a week and he's willing (obviously haha) but i can tell he doesn't expect it to work or change anything. I'm being supportive and i know he appreciates that i'm the first girl whos stuck by him and not run away from the problem but sometimes i do feel frustrated. Anyway i'd like some reliable info about if the stop start method will actually help and if anyone has any success stories? Is there anything else i can do to help? I want to stress that i'm willing to help in anyway i can, and to be honest even if things stayed as they are now we'd still have a brilliant relationship and be very happy - i suppose i'm saying this is not something that would ever break us up, but an improvement would certanly boost our sexlife and give him a more confident and care free atitude towards sex