I can not speak for women in general. My ex, would never touch me tenderly unless he wanted sex, it did not take long for me to clue in to this fact. Although there were other factors in the marriage that made for a bad marriage, this did NOT help. For me, as a woman, I need touched outside of sex. I need physical intimacy that stands alone. I need to feel that I am "loved" for who I am as a person and not as a sexual object. It sounds like you do that though. I would just up the amount of touching that does not result in sex.