georgialouise

10 times. Wow.

I understand your humor but this is a serious problem to me. I've been checking up on this and I've read that it may be obsessive/compulsive behavior which can be a symptom of mental illness including depression or manic/depression or bi-polar mania (I think that's the right phrase). But I don't feel depressed, I don't act manic either and I don't have particularly strong mood swings. I just wanted to know if there is something that can be done to control an urge like this because I can't seem to stop myself.

Sorry if this is long but I need some help and want you to have the facts at your disposal. I am 23, a virgin and engaged to be married this summer. Until recently my sexual experience has consisted of being felt through my blouse by a few men, letting my fiance touch my breasts and rub my pussy when I have on pants. I get him off with my hand which seems to keep him satisfied enough to wait for our wedding night. We are both very religious. One indulgence I have allowed myself is very hot, passionate kissing. I love to kiss and be kissed and the sensation in my mouth drives me absolutely wild. It is all I can do to control myself but I always have, again, until recently. Here's what happened. I needed a favor for work from a guy in our office I am friends with so I offered to buy him dinner if he's do it. We went to dinner and then, because it was on my way home, we went to his place to use his computer. Afterwards we had a couple glasses of wine. I almost never drink so I got a little buzzed. I decided it was getting late so I thanked him and gave him a kiss on the cheek. He said "I deserve better than that," and I thought, what the heck and leaned in to give him a little kiss on the lips. He started kissing me and it felt good and pretty soon we were really kissing and he was by far the best kisser I'd ever kissed. I started going crazy on his mouth, the more he kissed me and twirled his tongue in my mouth the more I felt helpless to stop. He kissed my face and neck and ears drviing me even more crazy and I caught myself moaning very loudly when his tongue wasn't in my mouth. He started talking to me saying I had a really hot mouth and how much I loved having his tongue in my mouth and all I could do was breathlesly agree. Then, I couldn't believe it, he said, as much as you love having my tongue in your mouth I've got something that will make it really happy. And he put my hand on his crotch, which was rock hard. I started to pull away and said I can't do that but he kissed me again and I melted. I started rubbing him and then he undid his belt and zipper and pulled it out. It was just so beautiful, big and powerful looking that when he said, I promise you'll love having your mouth wrapped around me that I, without thinking, leaned down and took him into my mouth. It was like I ws drawn to do it by some overwhelming force. It was unbelievable, the most incredible thing I had ever experienced. I went crazy and started sucking on him like a woman possessed. I couldn't stop. And I found the deeper into me I took him the wilder I felt. When he came I started to pull back but, then, the sensation of his powerful penis exploding in my mouth and the feeling of his sperm squirting inside me made me wilder still. I think I even had a small orgasm and drank it down. After he finished coming he took my face in his hands and gave me another incredible kiss. I started crying and he kissed my face softly but soon we were kissing again and, this is what I couldn't believe, after a little while I told him I wanted to do it again. he let me and it was just as incredible. That was bad enough. But over the next couple days I started to get this incredible craving to do it again. I didn't think I could give my fiance oral sex because I figured he'd think something was up. But I was going crazy to do it again. It was like I'd die if I didn't. So I went to the same guy in my office and told him I wanted to suck him again. We went to his place at lunch and I did it a couple more times. I figured, it's just something exciting and new and I'll get over it so just keep this secret for the time being. Well, I didn't get over it. I feel like I am obsessed, it's like compulsive behavior. This has gone on for seven months now. Sometimes I give him one blowjob in a week, other times I've given him two or three in a day. The frequency of the craving varies but it's always completely ovrwhelming when it strikes. A lot of times I just take him out to my car in the parking garage and do it because I can't wait. Now, I'm really worried because he has told me that at first I made up for awkwardness with enthusiasm but now he says I've become incredly good, the best he's ever had. And I absolutely love it, like 1000 times more than anything else I've ever done. I go absolutely wild when I do it, I can't help it. I thought maybe if I waited till my wedding night I could just start doing it to my fiance but I'm afraid that since I can't seem to control my wildness and if I'm as good as this guy says I am he'll know it's not the first time I've done it. Another problem is that this guy's cock is more ttractive. There is omething "suckable" about it if there is such a thing that my fiance's isn't. But I think I can get over that. I guess what I want to know is if you know anything I can do to control this craving, preferbly get rid of it alltogether, or control it enough the first couple times I do it to my fiance so that he won't suspect anything. Have you ever heard of anything like this? I know I have a dishonesty issue but that's not what I need help with here. I need to know how this kind of thing can be controlled, if it can. I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. Sorry this was long but I thought the details might be helpful in understanding just what my situation is. Thanks.