Kalbi54

Take it easy and slow...enjoy, savor, relish the moment. You thinking too hard (sorry for the pun) about it. Let her know that you really appreciate her surrender. I'm 54, she's 43, and I can go about a couple of hours just foreplay, a little screwing, a little licking, basically showering her body & her w/attention. My dick gets hard, soft, hard...leaks precum during that time. Best of all she leaks like nobody I've ever had the fortune to mesh with. Even she admits that, sexually we are so compatible, it is amazing.

This is somewhat an intriguing topic and definitely conversationally unique. Too often it's the husband being deprived but it's interesting to hear that the ladies have the same problem, albeit not as much but they do have it as well. I can empathize but it's only from a guy's perspective. Regrettably I am in that type of situation but after several attempts to get my wife to consider therapy I finally gave up. The breaking point was when after repeated requested to speak w/her gyno, she finally did. Doctor asked if she thought if everything was normal or if anything was wrong to which my wife replied "no everything is normal". That's when I realized that much like an addict, until she can admit there's something wrong, then truly in her eyes, there is nothing wrong. She's not sick, has any kind of problem but it struck home w/me. Essentially, your SO has to believe there is something wrong or not normal, otherwise things will never change. Unlike a drug addict (be it heroin, meth, ice, cocaine, whatever), you can't "abduct" someone then throw them into a detox as a means of intervention. My opinion, unless the male/female acknowledges or wants to make changes, the other SO has only 2 choices: 1. Accept that the situation is what it is. 2. Leave the situation There may be a chance that further conversations about changes might work but obviously no guarantee here.

For something inexpensive, try a men's dress white shirt (long sleeve)..tie loosely done...hosiery (if you're into that), high heels and voila...a vision of sexiness. Something about when a woman unbuttons them (and damn there's lot of buttons) creates such an atmosphere. A microkini adds to mystery. www.microkini-beach.com sells them and they are hot/cheap & do such wonders.

I was extremely fortunate to find someone to fulfill the physical aspects of my life. Both of us have separate lives but met on one of those adult meeting sites. I was probably way more nervous about the whole thing since it's been sometime (decades) that I had such an encounter. But it was fantastic from my perspective & hers. Yes, we are getting together again (there's some distance between us). Call it kismet, fate whatever...I got lucky

I have a lot of empathy for Njoy...I found myself in the same type of situation although not as long a time frame as his situation but the settings are there. Unfortunately, I did seek outside "comfort" and for that I make no excuses. My wife & I have known each other for 30plus years, 2 great kids, we have a good life. For whatever reason(s), my wife kind of started to not want sex any more. I would always have to initiate it. I did talk to her about it several and asked her to talk to her doctor about any physical or emotional problem. It took several times but she finally did talk to her GYN and the doctor turned around asking her "Do you think there's a problem?" She said "no" and that's when it struck me. Unless the person admits there is a "problem", then there can be no "cure". It's like addict (smoking, drugs, alcohol, et al)...until that point of admission is reached, it's difficult for someone else to help. Unlike a drug addiction where someone can be forcibly taken to a drug treatment for withdrawal, you can't force someone to seek and receive any other kind of therapy. This is my own personal experience and observation. Can't be regarded as the "be it all" insight. The only advice I can offer Njoy is that there seems to be only 3 options or courses of action: 1. Accept the current situation and/or continue to talk to your spouse 2. Seek another 3. Divorce I'm not here to pass judgement on you or tell you that you should do 1, 2 or 3. It is your life, your relationship and only you can make that decision. The rest of us here don't have to live w/the decision...you do and all the repercussions that will follow.