thanks for the reply. alot has gone on actually. maybe i dont want to think things changed up but they have. im a bigshot in my company and i make good cash. she feels like she does nothingt o help us. (she is a real estate agent and does good) i tell her she does the best thing take care of our daughter. my company moved me to the southern part of our state. so i ride 1.5 hours each way and put in generally an 11hour day. we had to give up our apartment cause the dravel expenses hospital bills and all. so we live at her mothers. i guess im muck more open about my sexual self then she is. but even before the baby she had no desire for sex. she does it to keep me happy but said a few times she can do without it all together. i just dont know what to do about it anymore. i cant even put my hand up her shirt to give her a backrub without her clenching up to protect her girl gear. its been so long since we had sex, supposedly we are having it tonite but she always promises and then doesnt want to, doesnt feel good, or something else distracs her. i dont know what to do anymore