Kace
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Posts posted by Kace
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Just discovered this thread. I completely sympathize Seven! I would put fulfilling sex in the "need" category - without it there's no reinforcement of those critical bonds that make a couple. Don't let his lack of desire make you feel like you're not the smokin' vixen you know you are. Sex drives wax and wane, sometimes its more waning. It's hard not to take your partner's disinterest in sex personally. When you say he's "holding out in the emotional intimacy department", he likely has no idea what that means. Guys in general aren't so good at knowing how to express emotion. For many of us this comes from an upbringing where showing emotion equates to weakness - it's a hole in the armor that someone is going to exploit. It's easier to withdraw emotionally and convince yourself you don't need or want sex than it is to open up.
The bit about him giving you sex as a "special gift" is pure douchebaggery. Sex isn't less special when it's frequent. I've heard the same thing from my SO - it's just an excuse.
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Hey Wendy, just noticed this thread! Great story, had a chance to live it yet?
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We had everything planned out - staying at a high-class hotel before flying out for our honeymoon in the morning. After several hours of driving we check in. Turns out the hotel is right along a strip of road that the local tuner crowd likes using as a drag strip. ALL NIGHT. All I could hear is the roar of angry bees as those tiny neon colored cars ran up and down the road outside our window. No matter, it was our wedding night and we decided that it shouldn't ruin it. I went to draw a hot bath for us both to unwind. Turns out the hot water in our room didn't work! I called down to the hotel desk and they informed me that they could send an engineer to take a look at it. By this point it was well past 1am and we were both wiped out. I asked if there was another room we could move to. No go, place was booked up.
We still ended up having sex - she had a lacy little number underneath her dress and fire in her eyes. I had done all of the driving - it was wonderful that she took the lead. Turned out pretty good. Miss those days, even with the ricers and broken water heater.
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Ah, the joys of working from home!
In regards to the original question, yes. It's seldom as my work keeps me pretty busy but sometimes you just need a little something to keep your mind from running through racy images. It takes the edge off and afterwards I become more calm and focused.
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In theory YES!!!!! In actuality probably not.
Would you ever have inconspicuous sex in the hotel pool with others around.
If I could get away with it sure - but it would likely be just some stealthy fingering.
Would you ever experiment with electrostim with your lover of choice?
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Thumbs up Tex!
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I found the name of the scene I mentioned earlier - the one that Justine Jolie and Rebecca Linares did together. It's called "By Appointment Only 5". Worth checking out!
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I'll definitely look for your movie suggestion! It's hard to find a movie she likes, romantic comedies aren't the genre I typically browse through. V-day was a bit of a bust and this movie thing didn't work out like I'd planned - but I'm taking her to see her favorite comic tomorrow and she has no idea. Fingers crossed.
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Oooh, 5 new articles? Are they released now or do we have to wait?
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Hell yeah!
Would you have wild, uninhibited sex in an open area next to a commuter rail line knowing the train will be along any minute?
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I've been really into Abby Winters stuff lately - they're all amateurs and appear to genuinely enjoy themselves! Also like intimate female orgasm shots - especially the wild uncontrolled ones where the actress really isn't acting.
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Yes, though it would depend on the feature being shown!
Would you ever have your partner go down on you while you're suspended face down in a sex sling?
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Go have boudoir photos made! You don't have to frame them and put them on the wall if you're not comfortable with it. My wife surprised me with her interest in having it done so long as I opted for the leather-bound photo album rather than a framed picture. It does seem a shame though - a couple of them are smokin' hot. Keeping them in a photo album seems akin to storing a Rembrandt in a trunk in the attic. It's meant to be admired!
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Inspired by this thread, I snuck over to my wifes car during my lunch hour and left a heart baloon, "love" cookie in a tin, and a massage gift certificate on the driver's seat of her car. She came home at nearly 10pm from working overtime - most every restaurant was closed so we ended up at Denny's with the angriest waitress ever.
Nothing really happened after that. 
Still looking to reschedule V-day dinner though it's almost March now. She has no idea but I bought her tickets to her favorite comedian - she doesn't have a clue he's in town. I really hope it makes her happy.
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Anyone here ever seen this movie?
My wife called from work and asked me to pick up a romantic comedy from the video rental place. She said it might set the right mood. I almost peeled out of the driveway in such a hurry.
I get there and browse row after row of movies and this one catches my eye - (500) Days of Summer. The cover is cute and bills it as "Smart, sexy and seriously funny". The back describes it as a "quirky romantic comedy about love and fate". Ooooh, sounds perfect! I check out and bring this little Bluray gem home. We sit on the couch and I snuggle up to her side as the movie rolls on. It was 95 minutes of the male protagonist having his heart run through a meat grinder. The poor guy is unbelievably frustrated, pining for this girl that's completely unreadable. One minute she's warm and lovely, the next she's as cold as an icepack to the testicles. And just when you think things are looking up for poor Tom she non-nonchalantly devastates him in such a way that his concept of romance is finished off in a final coup de grâce, leaving him a bitter crippled mess. There is no happy ending. I've read Franz Kafka novels that were more uplifting and less brutal. That's not to say it's a bad film, but it sure as hell isn't "romantic" or a "comedy". The takeaway moral to the story (explicitly spelled out) is that human coupling is nothing more than random chance and it's impossible to ascribe cosmic significance to anything here on Earth.
Then it got late and she was tired. Thanks Fox Searchlight Pictures.
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I couldn't imagine using anything other than correct medical terminology with my doctor. Besides the terms not being sexually charged, they are more precise and descriptive. And in the case of female anatomy (of which I don't have), even beautifully poetic:
Mons Veneris - Literally means the "mountain of Venus", goddess of love.
Labia Minora - "Little lips". These are also known as "nymphae" after the nymphs of Ancient Greece with their legendarily insatiable libidos
Fourchette - Bottom edge of the vaginal entrance, it literally means "little fork". It sounds cute.
And one I really dislike - Pudendal nerve. "Pudendum" in Latin means "place of shame". Seems a terrible moniker for the nerve that carries signals from the clitoris to the brain! I'd rather it be renamed "place of ecstasy". I'm no Latin scholar but I'd guess it would be extasum from the word "extasis", the root word of the modern "ecstasy".
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Although you've stopped offering I hope you still go down....
I do, on the occasions she lets me. I haven't lost my love of it.
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I can't give you any meaningful insight into the threesome/swinger portion of your troubles as I've never been involved in it. But I see several problems mixed into the rest of your post which I am unfortunately very familiar. Mismatched sex drives are quite common and can occur for a number of reasons, just poke around this site and you'll see. When you first got together there were sparks, it was all rainbows and sunshine. As life sinks in, this brain chemical high will fade and what remains is what you two have built for yourselves. It happens in any long term relationship. His love high may have waned first which can result in decreased desire. And in reading your post it seems that you've subconsciously built a wall around your sexual frustration as a reaction to his disinterest. Because it hurts when your partner doesn't express a desire for sex and in an effort to deaden the constant pain you've compartmentalized those feelings and have tried to reduce your expectations of sex. It turns into a protracted war of attrition with your own libido - you're trying to fight millions of years of evolution. If you've tried to explain to him how you're feeling and that you need sex as a reinforcement of the bonds between you yet he still isn't interested - it's probably the second problem I see.
Control. From how you've described his behavior with the swinging he has control issues. From your last paragraph I don't think his problem is a lack of libido at all if he's still interested in group sex with other people. Control issues are usually rooted in fear - he may not even know what it is that he's afraid of. But it is destructive behavior as he's explicitly barring you from experiences you'd like to try while indulging his own interests at your expense. From what you've described it's evident that what you're seeking is to strengthen that emotional bond between you two. Sex is an outward expression of it but not the whole of it.
Am I off base?
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As I mentioned in another thread, a girl's relationship to her father plays a huge role in how she interacts with men later in life. Been burned with that too many times, no daddy issues for me thanks.
Consequently, I would assume the same holds true for males though I cannot see how my wife is anything like my mother. Good thing too, that would get weird.
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I'm going to set the DVR to record everything including duplicates. I think the problem may be with the cable listings recycling the episode names rather than correcting them. Stupid TW cable...
Go ahead and post your spoilers - I don't mind.
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I'm really starting to think my cable company is showing these episodes a week late...
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Wow, felt really bad for the guy in the kissing episode. There isn't much of anything he can do to fix the situation.
It seems that the slightest little quirk in someone's home life growing up can create a damaged mess of an adult later - and sometimes it doesn't emerge until a sequence of conditions are met. There have been a couple of episodes like this now. I had a dating strategy years ago based on this . On the first date I always brought up her parents in casual conversation. The big red flag was how she views her father. I found that the girls that didn't get along with their dads often had issues with men in general and that I'd get that transferred to me. I didn't do this as a personal judgment against women with less than ideal home lives, I just got tired of being sucked into the middle of it by proxy.
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I've done this several times in the past though not so much lately. I *love* going down but I get a puzzled look back when I offer. So, I've stopped offering.
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I can't wait! Hope the DVR doesn't screw it up again.
Nothing really happened after that. 
"in The Bedroom With Dr. Laura Berman"
in Marriage and Committed Relationships
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So, what did you think of the body image episode? I think it's kind of cool that the show is bold enough to have same-sex couples.
I think everyone nowadays has some part of their bodies that they feel insecure about and it holds them back. Hard not to, especially with the constant media image bombardment of physical perfection.