Kace

I'd say about 30 minutes to an hour. As far as how you should relax - you know yourself better than anyone else does. What do you usually do to relax? Is it a glass of wine? Music? Soft lighting? If you're worried about being too tense when she tries the strap on, start slow and have her use fingers first. How well it goes is determined in large part by your state of mind. If you are nervous and worried that it will hurt, you'll tense up and it will. Put it out of your mind, breath slowly and deeply, and focus on how good it feels. If you chill out and use enough lube then it'll be a very positive experience.

Go to your local drugstore and pick up a Fleet's enema kit and bottle of Metamucil capsules. Take them as directed on the label at least the day before. (It's not a bad idea to continue them regardless, fiber is good for you!) Drink LOTS of water. About an hour before your SO straps one on, flush out with the Fleets. That's about as good as anyone can do to minimize the mess. I'd also suggest picking up some lube shooters. They look like a syringe with a rounded end - very useful for getting lube up inside where it does the most good.

Ok, that's hilarious.

Woohoo! I'm so happy that you're living the dream now! I hope it turns out for you.

If it isn't prying too much, what exactly has he done to make you pull back from the relationship?

Sure is spammy around here today. :/

I cannot speak from experience, but I'd like to think that if my wife had any "transgressions" that I could forgive. I love her enough that I take joy in her happiness so long as it isn't to my or our child's detriment. So if she were to have a lover on the side, I would support her so long as s/he didn't hurt her, it didn't adversely affect our time as a family, and I was extended the same courtesy. A few years ago I would have thought of this as unthinkable but the more I analyze it the more logical and compassionate it seems.

I've wondered if size affects sensitivity at all? Some women can't stand directly touching their clit while others can be pretty rough with it.

Note that I stated it isn't a dealbreaker.

Wow. I don't even know where to start here. TV isn't an accurate portrayal of anything, much less gender and sexual preference. First off, "90%" of women aren't necessarily bi/bicurious/lesbian. I have no idea where you got that idea though it's irrelevant - sexual orientation and attractiveness are not in the least bit related, the latter being completely subjective. Straight girls are straight because they are attracted exclusively to guys.

Hair color isn't a dealbreaker for me. I find natural redheads to be eye catching. But for some reason, jet black hair and green eyes just ropes me in.

I'd say this guy is a just a douche. I don't believe most men are so callous and mean spirited. The rare instances where I've been with women who consented to anal sex it was not coerced and it was done slowly and carefully. From my perspective, I see it as an honor - it takes a lot of trust to offer such an easily injured part of yourself to another.

I first learned the term from the article I posted a link to. I must say the notion intrigues me. I would certainly have done it back when I was a virgin! It was a condition I wanted to rid myself of as quickly as possible and if there was an opportunity to learn how to give and receive pleasure without being judged for awkward fumblings, all the better! And having your first time be a 3-way? Wow.

Has anyone else ever heard the term "Panda Three-way"? I learned about it from this article on a site I keep up with: http://goodmenprojec...anda-three-way/ A Panda Three-way refers to how pandas teach their younger males about mating. An older, more established couple will bring a younger male in for a practical "teaching" session. I had never heard of this practice before and I want to hear your opinions on the idea.

I'm currently married to a woman who's clitoris I would describe as average size. Much like how guys can be "showers" or "growers", she's definitely a "grower". It's nearly impossible to see until she's worked up, then it swells and peeks through the hood in the cutest way. My previous girlfriend was very different - her clit was bigger but didn't change size much when she was aroused. It would flush a deep crimson color and turn almost purple when she came. That was pretty awesome.

I've found high frequency vibration to be numbing. Low frequency (throbby) vibrations work better, for me at least. I've heard the Nexus Vibro is pretty good though I've never seen one in person. Enjoy!

That realization is slowly dawning on me. I wish libido was something I could consciously control as it can make it nearly impossible to concentrate on work. Biology is a bitch. Does this libido mismatch and babies scenario ever resolve itself? I hear conflicting stories from other married couples. And there are LOTS of frustrated posts in forums all over the internet from couples (usually the male half) at their wits end after having no intimacy with their spouses for *years*. Scares the hell out of me.

It was steamy enough to mobilize the London police to seize all copies as contraband and shut down the publisher. The author, John Cleland, was charged with "Corrupting the King's Subjects" and was forced to publicly renounce his own work. It was written while he was in debtors prison, no doubt sexually frustrated. I figure the least I can do is read the book as tribute to the trouble he took to write it. It's smut, but very good smut.

Just for fun, I'm going to post an excerpt from one of the steamier bits from Memoirs of Fanny Hill. It was written in 1748 so any copyright has long since expired. You can find it at Project Gutenberg for free. "Slipping then a pillow under me, that I might give him the fairest play, I guided officiously with my hand this furious battering ram, whose ruby head, presenting nearest the resemblance of a heart, I applied to its proper mark, which lay as finely elevated as we could wish; my hips being borne up, and my thighs at their utmost extension, the gleamy warmth that shot from it, made him feel that he was at the mouth of the indraught, and driving fore right, the powerfully divided lips of that pleasure-thirsty channel received him. He hesitated a little; then, settled well in the passage, he makes his way up the straights of it, with a difficulty nothing more than pleasing, widening as he went so as to distend and smooth each soft furrow: our pleasure increasing deliciously, in proportion to our points of mutual touch increased in that so vital part of me which I had now taken him, all indriven, and completely sheathed; and which, crammed as it was, stretched splitting ripe, gave it so gratefully straight an accommodation! so strict a fold! a suction so fierce! that gave and took unutterable delight. We had now reached the closest point of union; but when he beckened to come on the fiercer, as if I had been actuated by a fear of losing him, in the height of my fury, I twist my legs round his naked loins, the flesh of which, so firm, so springy to the touch, quivered again under the pressure; and now I had him every way encircled and begirth; and having drawn him home to me, I kept him fast there, as if I had sought to unite bodies with him at that point. This bred a pause of action, a pleasure stop, whilst that delicate glutton, my nether mouth, as full as it could hold, kept palating, with exquisite relish, the morsel that so deliciously ingorged it. But nature could not long endure a pleasure that it so highly provoked without satisfying it: pursuing then its darling end, the battery recommenced with redoubled exertion; nor lay I inactive on my side, but encountering him with all the impetuosity of motion I was mistress of, the downy cloth of our meeting mount was now of real use to break the violence of the tilt; and soon, indeed! the highwrought agitation, the sweet urgency of this to-and-fro friction, raised the titillation on me to its height; so that finding myself on the point of going, and loath to leave the tender partner of my joys behind me, I employed all the forwarding motions and arts my experience suggested to me, to promote his keeping me company to our journey's end. I not only then tightened the pleasure-girth round my restless inmate, by a secret spring of friction and compression that obeys the will in those parts, but stole my hand softly to that store bag of nature's prime sweets, which is so pleasingly attached to its conduit pipe, from which we receive them; there feeling, and most gently indeed, squeezing those tender globular reservoirs, the magic touch took instant effect, quickened, and brought on upon the spur the symptoms of that sweet agony, the melting moment of dissolution, when pleasure dies by pleasure, and the mysterious engine of it overcomes the titillation it has raised in those parts, by plying them with the stream of a warm liquid, that in itself the highest of all titillations, and which they thirstily express and draw in like the hot natured leach, which, to cool itself, tenaciously extracts all the moisture within its sphere of execution. Chiming then to me, with exquisite consent, as I melted away, his oily balsamic injection, mixing deliciously with the sluices in flow from me, sheathed and blunted all the stings of pleasure, whilst a voluptuous languor possest, and still maintained us motionless, and fast locked in one another's arms. Alas! that these delights should be no longer-lived; for now the point of pleasure, unedged by enjoyment, and all the brisk sensations flattened upon us, resigned us up to the cool cares of insipid life. Disengaging myself then from his embrace, I made him sensible of the reasons there were for his present leaving me; on which, though reluctantly, he put on his clothes, with as little expedition, however, as he could help, wantonly interrupting himself, between whiles, with kisses, touches and embraces I could not refuse myself to. Yet he happily returned to his master before he was missed; but, at taking leave, I forced him (for he had sentiments enough to refuse it) to receive money enough to buy a silver watch, that great article of subaltern finery, which he at length accepted of, as a remembrance he was carefully to preserve of my affections."

Wow. Can't say I've ever been so bold.

If you're a novice, I'd recommend any of the slimmer Tantus toys. I have the "Little Flirt" and it's great.

I hear you. I'm still trying to get my wife to open up a bit about what she likes. I'm no communicator either though. Only recently have I made a real effort to let her know what I like and don't like. It's more an exercise in words however, since there are rarely deeds to go with them. Having a baby seems to make sleep a more valuable commodity than sex. :/

Do you mean you were the one to initiate or were you the one being initiated with?

As with any sex act, only do it if YOU want to. Anal sex can and often is pleasurable for both parties if it isn't rushed and proper preparation is done. Don't let anyone tell you that you "suck in bed" because you won't do something he wants. Guys (and gals) like him aren't worth the effort and don't deserve the time and attention if they don't respect you.

Barbie is now way cooler than I remember. Uhm, aren't Barbies devoid of genitalia? Where does this squirting take place?