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I am a 65 year old straight woman who has been divorced for over 20 years. Hell if I know why I haven't found any one to date let alone go to bed with for over 20 years. I have never had an orgasm of any kind with any man. I have been married and divorced 3 times. When I was married I always faked it. I have used clit vibrators over the years by myself and started using warming creams about 3 years ago. If I get horny, frustrated and drunk enough---I can get myself off with a vibrator. At least a dozen consecutive times. My clit is very small. But I am managed all of these years to keep my sanity by using vibrators. Fast forward. I suddenly have met 2 guys who I am dating. One turns me on immediately with the touch of his hand any where on my body. I know now that I have missed foreplay all these years. But I cannot come with oral sex. I hurt when they penetrate me. I am very dry. I just got a script for the vaginal hormonal cream that is supposed to eliminate pain during intercourse. Question: Have I ruined my chances forever of having a real orgasm with penetration or oral sex because I have needed the strong stimulation of an electric vibrator all of of these years to get off? Problem now is that I cannot get off with a vibrator by myself. I want/need the physical intimacy of foreplay. Never imagined in my wildest dreams that I would be hornier at 65 than I was at 40. Mother Nature is cruel. One partner seems open to the idea of me continuing to use a vibrator but I don't want to threaten his manhood. Any one else out there with this problem? Should I see an ob-gyn doctor about the size and position of my clit? I vaguely remember going for an exam in my mid-twenties. The doctor made some comment about my clit and orgasms but said I would probably be OK after I had kids. I have given birth twice. I don't want to fake it any more. I just ordered two different clit stimulators and more arousal cremes. Sucks trying to pleaure myself alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

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  • 2 weeks later...
Guest Mrs.BettyCrocker

No you haven't! Most women cannot orgasm from sexual intercourse alone so please don't feel this way!

The pain and dryness definitely sound like a medical issue so I'm glad you've spoken to your doctor about that. Many women have similar experiences trying to have orgasms but are embarrassed and never ask for help!

The clitoris and g-spot are an interconnected bundle of nerves, so I would suggest getting a water-based lubricant and a silicone dual stimulator and taking it slowly. The thing about a dual stimulator is that you get the vibrations on your clit, but also inside, so you can sandwich those nerves in between vibrating motors. You may just be a woman who needs a lot of build up before sex and there is nothing abnormal or "ruined" about that. Please see if your lovers' would be willing to play with you, because it can be intensely erotic to use toys with a partner, and picking a smaller, non-phallic toy might alleviate your worries about his manhood!

There are also toys that are designed to stimulate the clit while being used during sex, I think TooTimid has one called the "Ladybug Tickler" for reference. A toy like that or a cock ring with a vibrating bullet might also help give you that dual sensation. Also you said you had tried creams, but didn't say if you had been using lube to counteract the dryness. I always suggest using a lube, even for younger women, since any friction at all down there can lead to pain. There are organic lubes, warming lubes, edible lubes, you name it, so finding one that works for you should be just a matter of experimentation. I hope this was helpful, and that you are able to have the sexual satisfaction and orgasms you deserve!

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  • Review Team

Sunshine if you don't cum from having oral sex then hes either not doing it right or long enough to warm your sensations, Hang in there I hope it gets better for you with the new guy just don't give up, keep trying different lubes as Mrs said you will find one that will work for you and it just might blow your mind, heres hoping the best for you

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