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I want to watch my partner lover soon husband have sex with another woman and see him please her the way he pleases me. I want to milk his prostate and watch him cum on her face in her mouth but she has to like it. I want to watch him f**K her in the a** to try n figure out how to do it til he cums since he can't cum in my nanny. I love to be touched constantly pleasured but I hate having to give him a blow job all the time he always eats til I cum squirt etc but even if his precum goes in my mouth I puke or just about do I want to give him anal but it hurts cause I tense up he says er whatever. I want to have a threesome or maybe I've never been with a woman I have curiosity. I know he's excited about it he even talks to another woman but I'm not part of the conversation he thinks it will hurt my feelings but being left out and him getting aroused by talking to her but then him getting his pleasure from me is actually hurting my feelings I want to try so much but I have to be able to complete trust in his loyalty to me I have bad trust issues and been sexually assaulted by many different men family members and friends of my parents and babysitters but I like to role playing of the sexual encounters I couldn't control then I like to feel that fear but sexiness of being so highly wanted etc he's ok with it but sometimes it makes me sick physically just depends on my mindset that day he's a sex addict and I love having sex with him but I want him to have so much more cause he gave me so much he awakened my sexual hunger and I stillhave so much I want to experience with him and group him me other men and women he not bi I've never been with a woman I have curiosity and he has agreed to letting a man suck him off and he may stick it in his but he prefer woman i just want to be the main buffet for a group of men but I want to be in control of him and her I want him to control the savage men on me etc I think it's bonding 

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You truly have a lot going on in that sexy part of your mind. I think it would do you good to share with him all your feelings. And it might also be good for you to speak with a non involved person on this subject. Both of us are sorry to hear about the abuse you have suffered. There is just nothing good about that, but that's where Open Ness conversations can be helpful. We wish you the best, yes the best of that also.

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