Lgbt (long post but appreciate advice/stories)

[CreativeWriter]

This post is for women in the lgbt community.  How was ur first sexual experience with a woman like?  I’m 24 & lesbian & have been sexually active since I was around 19.  I just recently (about 2 months ago) experienced oral for the first time.  I’ve always been a very nervous person & very shy about my body.  When I thought about experiencing oral it always turned me on but also made me really nervous.  It was just the fact that you are in such a vulnerable place & the person giving has full control & you just do nothing.  I had been with 3 different women & regretted not having oral with 2 of them.  It’s also the fact that most women who are into women enjoy receiving oral as well.  I have OCD so the thought of having somebody’s bodily fluids from down there in my mouth really gives me anxiety.  That’s also one of the reasons why it took me so long to experience oral.  I just felt guilty of the fact that I would be enjoying this but then not able to give it back.  I want to but I just get scared.  What if I don’t like the way it smells or tastes? What if I feel grossed out? What if I don’t want to anymore in the middle of it? What if I accidentally make the woman feel bad because I don’t like it?  Anyways, with the receiving part it did take me a while to finally have it happen & I did have chances for it to happen sooner but idk, I just got nervous & changed my mind.  It had nothing to do with the woman, because every woman I have been with has been super understanding & never made me feel pressured about anything.  The woman who I had finally let go down on me was a fwb situation.  We had really great open communication & I talked about my anxiety & she said it’s totally up to me if I want it to happen or not.  I even talked about the what if questions I had in my head like what if I smell weird? Or taste weird? Or you don’t like it? Or it takes me too long to get there? (also side note I still have no idea if I have ever orgasmed in my life but that’s a post for another day) She said she has had the same questions in her head before & I never felt weird around her while talking about all of this.  When we started making out & doing stuff I was completely turned on & even when she was literally about to go down she asked if I was sure I was ready & that made me feel so much better because of how much she cared.  That fwb situation fizzled out as she became really busy in her personal life & dealing with other things.  Anyways the point of this post was basically to ask other women of their experiences, if they have ever felt the way I have felt & still feel with some things & if any women have ocd or have had issues with being scared about giving oral?  Thanks for any advice