Girls Lie

[Darryl R. Scott]

Being fifty [none of your business] years old, I’m old enough to remember when pornographic movies were the ugly, brain-damaged mutant offspring of cinema. When I was a horny teenager who rode his dinosaur to the adult movie theaters on Times Square during the 1970s, the majority of the XXX-rated movies I saw back then were grim, clumsy, so-dark-you-could-barely-see anatomy lessons. It was the same actors fucking the same way in the same bed in the same room.

Sure, for a young guy fueled by a hungry curiosity and testosterone, these movies fulfilled a need, but you sure as hell couldn’t call it “Art”. Uh-uh. I mean, yeah, overrated junk like Deep Throat made a lot of money, but would you put it in that category? C’mon, be serious.

The Dirty Movies Are A-Changin’, however.

Girls Lie, the newest film by the talented Eon McKai, ain’t your Granddaddy’s porno.

No, I won’t call it a masterpiece. But it’s a loud, nasty, tattooed, in-your-face punk rocker of a movie that further erases the line dividing erotica from “legitimate” Hollywood films.

For one thing, the cinematography in McKai’s Girls Lie is absolutely gorgeous. Imagine a MTV video pumped up on Tina, cheap beer, cigarettes, and Human Growth Hormone. Those days when a solitary camera was nailed down in one spot are over.

The cast is exceptional. Thankfully, you won’t see an old, lumpy has-been like Ron Jeremy asphyxiate a terrified actress trapped underneath his bulk or Jenna Jameson pretending to have Meg Ryan’s “Sleepless In Seattle” orgasm. Charlotte Stokely, Dana DeArmond and Pixie Pearl, the stars of Girls Lie, are a breath of fresh sensuality. They’re young, enthusiastic, beautiful, and genuine.

Oh, and the sex? There’s lots of it.

O.K., the menu’s pretty simple. If you want variety in your pornography, you’re going to be very disappointed. There’s no orgies, no threesomes, no bisexuality or lesbian couplings. It’s entirely one-on-one heterosexual intercourse. With a less gifted director behind the camera, the sex scenes in Girls Lie could have been mundane, the hardcore equivalent of eating at McDonalds. But McKai brings out the best in his actors, and they fuck with a feral intensity.

How hot is the sex?

It’s “I’m gonna lose my virginity” sex.

It’s “I’m gonna pay $1,000 an hour for a call girl” sex.

It’s “I’m gonna die tomorrow so dammit I’m gonna fuck the woman I love tonight” sex.

Yeah, the sex scenes almost save the movie.

Unfortunately, because everything else in Girls Lie is so good, it’s too bad the script is awful. There’s no plot, the dialogue is banal and even though the title alludes to the three women lying to their boyfriends, you can’t figure out why. It doesn’t even come close to being a mediocre Red Shoes Diary episode.

Still, because you’re so mesmerized by McKai’s sorcery as a director, you don’t notice the Katrina-sized holes in the narrative until it’s over. So, judging it on those merits, I think it’s successful. If you don’t need no stinkin’ story, it works. And for everybody else with higher expectations, Girls Lie is a bright promise of better films to come.