wanting to purchase first legitimate sex toy but bf and I disagree on specifics

[Schermey]

weird title so let me explain

i have never owned a sex toy for a few reasons. 1. until recently i have always lived with family and i would die if they knew about it or ever found it not only is that super embarrassing to me but also i am pretty sure my mother and grandmother would perform an exorcism on me 2. because i have lived with family i could never order something online because they might see it or open it 3. i've never tried buying something in person because i just cannot imagine talking to someone while buying that. 

so instead of having anything real i have just used the most random household objects over the years. and i am definitely a daily user of the things i use for that activity. 

i recently moved out on my own (yay me!) and since nobody checks the mail but me... it seems like the right time to get a real toy or two.

i am 19 and am currently dating a guy who is 25. we have been together for 7 months. he totally supports me getting toys but there is a bit of an issue

i want to get a large dildo -- the real skin feeling kind with... all the parts of male anatomy and a suction cup base or even one that is attached to the abs and torso base.

The issue is that I would like the toy(s) to be black. My bf is white and he says that my color preference is "weird" to him and that he wants me to get a white one or even pink or some color like that but "whatever you get is your decision." but he keeps asking a lot of questions about why i want that color in that kind of toy. 

i am a very visual person when it comes to sexual pleasure and as a half white/half asian girl the contrast of a darker color toy is something i think i would enjoy very much. the reason i don't want green or pink or blue or a random darker or brighter color is because if a toy looks fake it won't get me or my arousal or my imagination to the same place a "real" looking toy would. i have explained that and he said he understands but still doesn't feel comfortable about it but "whatever you want." 

but now i'm out here wondering if that is weird? should i just get a generic color? 
i don't want to "get one that looks like him" because we have only been together for 7 months and i'm 19 so who knows what the future holds and i am spending MY money and want to invest in something pricey but great... if we break up ni 3 months or a year or 5 i don't want to have to get something else because it reminds me of him. i just want a toy that is independent of any relationship. but maybe that is immature? 

soooo any advice or thoughts would be great because i am feeling super duper self conscious about this purchase now. 

 

[cirrus20]

This is somewhat a tricky question because you're asking if you should compromise for your relationship or satisfy your desire.  I would ask you if you're buying the toy for yourself or for you and your boyfriend?

On the one hand, he says he supports you but has some hangup about you getting a black one for some reason.  If this toy is intended for you as a couple then you may want to give some thought to his preferences as well since the toy will be for both of you.  But if the toy is for your pleasure then you should get whatever toy you want. 

Another possibility is to get the black toy you want for yourself and get a different one to use when you're with your boyfriend.  And you don't have to break the budget when it comes to buying toys.