Orgasms

[lynnk13]

When my boyfriend and I have sex, I can never feel myself orgasm. He says that some people just can't, and that since I still do moan and squirm with pleasure, that I am having one. I've only felt the cum come out twice - both times I was drunk. Is it normal for me not to be able to feel it, or am I just not relaxed enough to feel it when I'm not inebriated? Any advice would be very helpful.

[Tyger]

First off, don't listen to your BF. He's not a woman, or overly experienced, and therefore, does not know about the working's a woman's body. I'm not trying to sound insulting, but it's the truth.

A woman KNOWS when she has an orgasm. Being aroused, and lubricating yourself by being aroused does NOT mean you've cum. Sorry, that's not the way it is. Some guys do think that. Unfortunately, they are wrong. Women's bodies lubricate themselves when they are stimulated/excited. That's the body's response to sexual stimulation in preperations for the act of sex, not that you're cumming.

Most women, when the cum, get breathless, feel like they're about to explode. There is vaginal muscle clenches that are involuntary. There's a tingly feeling all over, and there's a release that happens, that, well feels GREAT!!!! Sometimes, there can be a wash of fluid that comes out, from a G-Spot orgasm, but not all of the time.

Moaning and groaning with true pleasure (and not for show~which some women do to make their lovers feel good about their sexual prowess) is good. BUT, that does NOT mean that you're cumming. It means that he should continue to do whatever it is that feels so good for you.

Please, read the Sex Education tab's wealth of sexual info. Also, cruise the site, reading about the workings of not only a woman's body, but of a man's too. This can help you learn to pleasure yourself as well as your lover. You aren't alone with feeling lost when it comes to orgasms. Encourage your BF to learn how a woman's body works too. Just because a man has a penis, doesn't mean he knows HOW to use that, as well as his fingers, tongue, and most importantly, how to make a woman FEEL seduced.

And, always remember, a good lover is made, not born. Being a good lover means not only a willingness to learn and please your lover, but to also teach them how to please YOU as well!! This takes time. In most cases, YEARS! Having an open-mind, a willingness and eagerness to learn and be taught is important. So is listening, not only to when your lover SAYS the like what you're doing, but also the verbal cues, like moans, groans, and seeing the reactions of your stimulations. Sex is adult play, and shouldn't be a chore.

Best wishes!!