I'm Ruined

[sazani]

I need help!

Actually on a couple things:

First I had a breast reduction and now, NO sexual feeling, I mean in my breasts, I do have so me feeling back after a year, but not like I had. Now, my husband and I started using a vibrator and no problem I can come almost immediately. The problem is I can't with my husband. Any suggestions?

[Tyger]

I have a friend that had a breast reduction, due to the pain it was causing her back and shoulders. Her surgeon told her that it was normal for many women to experience a reduction in their sensations when they have this surgery (as well as some with breast implants as well). If you're really concerned about it, I would call your surgeon and ask him/her if they've had other patients with this problem, and how long, if at all, would it take to the sensations to come back, is there a time limit, or is what you're feeling pretty much it. Each surgeon has their own techniques, with different results afterwards. Some nerves will grow back in time, others, they're pretty much disabled. So, call your surgeon and ask for a follow-up consultation with concerns. This should be free, where he/she's already done the work. If, at most, just the cost of a slight office visit, I would think. Again, each surgeon is different.

As far as you're lack of coming when you're with your hubby, honey, read over the site. You are NOT alone. Many women, 85% (I personally believe more than this) need clit stimulation to get off. Some women have a more difficult time getting off with just penis/vaginal intercourse. The only thing I can tell people, with good authority, to learn from porn, is that there is NOTHING wrong with stroking your own clit, or having him stroke it while you're engaging in sex.

I bet when you're using a vibrator, you pay more attention to your clit? Or, at the very least, you know how and where to stroke yourself with your vibrator. Why not show your husband HOW you like to be pet, licked, stroked, and touched? If you're worried about his ego, do it slowly, and gently. There are ways to do it so he learns, but thinks that he's discovered it. Or, if you have a hubby like mine, he will LOVE being directed on how, where, and pressure strength on how to get me to get MY O on!

Don't think of yourself as ruined. You had breast reduction for a reason, and now you're having to learn how to adjust to your body and other sensations, even if it's been a year.

Best wishes!