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Being Open About Sex With Your Teens


vixie

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How many of you with children have been through the teen years? How open were you around the house about sex? My hubby and I have two teens a boy and a girl. The boy is 16 and has already been with his girlfriend ( a first for both). I feel that we can discuss anything with them, my sons gf included. My DD at 14 is not as boy crazy as some of her friends are. She has only dated one boy that in her words "dumped her because she wouldn't put out". Even my DD's friends will talked to me about things they don't feel comfortable talking to their parents about.

They all tease us when get a little physical in front of them. You know comments about getting a room and such. Even as open as we are, we still are bothered by them "hearing us" during sex. Can any of you relate?

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Vixie, as a father with 3 girls I have always been very closed minded around them in their younger years. We have a two-story house that we kept adult and children seperated in. Even so I'm sure they heard much more than we wanted them to. It does happen and there is little that can be done to stop it. Short of abstinence that is. It is more a matter of how you communicate with your children than what they hear. I've always been scared to death by my gf's 2 girls because of what her X had done to them. I was worried that it may open wounds that I had no clue how to deal with. Her youngest popped the door open on us one time and I could not bring myself to do anything for over a month because of what she may have seen. As soon as I heard the doorknob I slid off to the side but raising my ass to withdraw in this case was not an acceptable thing in my opinion. I know she probably knew what was happening but I am not about to give her a for sure indication on this. My mother was always open with us but we were not the victims of things these girls had been through.

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I have 2 daughters and have always been very upfront about talking to them and around them, but keeping in mind the age they were at. My oldest and I have always been very close and relate very well so we can and do talk openly about everything no holds barred. When she was ready to start having sex I made sure to get her to a doc. and put her on the pill. My younger one is just a different personality....she is just not comfortable talking or hearing about that stuff from us, so even though I still convey my messages, it's not as open or outright. Hubby and I pretty much get the eye roll from them on a daily basis 'cause somehow our conversation always ends up with sexual innuendo. The main thing I have made sure of is to teach them not to be ashamed or think that sex is wrong or dirty....I want them to revel in being a woman as they grow, but that doesn't mean be promiscuous and of course a constant warning that they better not be stupid and go unprotected.....don't want any STD's or unplanned pregnancies. :)

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I have raised teens and in fact still am raising 2. My oldest is 18,17,15 those are just the teens. As far as sex is concearned I have always been VERY straight forward with them. In my home it is an open door policy, my children have come to me and talked sexed etc...We have discussed everything from foreplay to self pleasure to sex. Although I was not raised with this type of open door policy when I was young. I have always told my children that when they felt like or they had the need for sex or questions that I would be here for them and would not judge them or lecture them but would be upfront and honest with them on any issue they wanted to discuss. I have an 11yr old daughter and in fact we have discussed alot about sex, I guess I am very lucky that my children are comfortable with me enough to talk about sex and things with me.

It helps alot to not only be your childs parent but to let your children know that it is safe to come with any issue to you and that you will try your best to answer their questions without having that "parental lecture" always ready at hand.

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Let's all try and remember that how we deal with these issues now can have negative or positive effects on our children. We need not be vulgar but honest and as straight as comfort dictates. We can influence the next generation but please do it in a positive way! (Sorry iha but I'd like to see your workload lightened!)

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