Becoming An Illegal

[Tyger]

The Honorable Tom Harkin

731 Hart Senate Office Building

Phone (202) 224 3254

Washington DC, 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a Texan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue

Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted

the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the

process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen

to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the

Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill's

provisions is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United

States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a

$2,000 fine and income taxes for three of the last five years. I know a

good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started

before everyone figures i t out.

Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay

taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years

of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I

can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent

result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2004 and

2005.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local

emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped

paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could

save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter

would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school

applications, as well as "in-state" tuition rates for many colleges

throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the

burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car

insurance premiums. This is very important to me given that I still have

college age children driving my car.

If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become

illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms,

I would be most appreciative.

Thank you for your assistance.

Your Loyal Constituent,

A hopeful soon-to-be-not-a-citizen

Get your Forms (NOW)!! Call your Internal Revenue Service

1-800-289-1040.

Please pass this onto your friends so they can save on this great

offer!!!!