Stormy Superstar Masturbator

[Tyger]

There are very few toys that I get that I don’t give a few tries, or, at the very least, try to keep an open mind, even if the skeptic in me is saying, “don’t even bother”. Unfortunately, with this toy, the Skeptic was correct.

The first thing my hubby said when he saw this toy, was that it reminded him of those pop-up gelatinous air fresheners. And he was right! The black casing has a plastic label on it, with its name and maker on it, which you peel off, then it has a seam near the middle, which pops up, and with a good tug, comes off. But, if you don’t tug on it, and just leave it together, it really does look like a cool “art deco” type air freshener. Although, I will say that this case is a good storage unit for this sort of toy. Designed to keep it away from other toys AND keep its shape. The thought was great.

Anyway, there are no instructions on it, so it took us a few minutes of figuring it out (hubby got frustrated & tossed it to me to figure out, saying I was the “pro” at figuring out sex toys). I don’t like tugging or pulling on stuff I’m unsure of, but, seeing that the hard plastic base had a cylinder going up inside, I figured that just could NOT be the hole to put his penis in, so I yanked the 2 pieces of hard plastic apart, and with a sliding POP, it came apart. Hmmm, ok. Well, interesting. Now what? OK, well, the jelly masturbator needed to come off, so, I slide my fingers inside, and pry it out off of the cylinder. Yay, success! When I pulled it off, I really noticed how, um, short it is….about 3.5” or so. Um, yikes. I toss it to hubby, and he looks at it, then me, and said “That’s it?” Yep, ‘fraid so. He notices that it looks like it may be ribbed on the inside, but is kind of skeptical that this may just be from being stored on a cylinder.

I wash it, and we take it to the bedroom. Grabbing some lube, I give hubby some oral attention first, then apply some lube on his hard member, and then some in the masturbator as well. My hubby’s rather well-endowed, and some masturbators are a very tight fit, & can cause some discomfort putting them on. The jelly on this was very accommodating, and slid over him easily. However, that’s about the best part of the toy. Where it’s so short, even when I squeezed for added pressure, hubby was not impressed. He didn’t even give it 5 minutes before he just looked at me and said it wasn’t doing a thing for him at all.

So, we gave up. I asked him if he wanted me to try it again, and he declined, rather profusely, in fact. After cleaning it up, I put a drop of water-based lube on the can's cylinder, and slid it back on it to store it.

Sorry to say that this masturbator was a falling star and crash-landed into nothing.

Try it for yourself

[froggystyle1977]

Air Freshener and masterbator all in one lmao!! sorry it didn't work out well.

[Tyger]

Air Freshener and masterbator all in one lmao!! sorry it didn't work out well.

Yes, I LOVE the smell of jelly toy in the morning!!

[CGEM]

If you're looking for the world's most critical guy towards male masturbation gear, you can quit searching. That's me. This didn't change last week when I, out of curiosity, inserted 4 € in a condom machine at Munich airport, in exchange for a "Travel Pussy". Priceless! I, together with my colleagues, couldn't help wondering how the interface would be. The box wasn't bigger than half a card deck. I opened the box, and what did I find...

A thin polyethene plastic bag and a small portion of lube.

A travel glove! How cool is that!

I think paying 4 euros for a travel pussy is too much. Feels so dirty, a bit like you were paying for sex.

CGEM