Anal Toys For Him? What To Buy...

[LoveBitten]

My boyfriend was really squeamish about the idea of anal play. I understand why. He was paranoid about being bisexual in his teen years, which was something he was kind of scared of admitting to me. (I told him before that I don't give a damn, even if he was, or is. We're together, he loves and wants me, so who cares? xD "So, you'd probably still love me even if I was a dude. Cool." Did not say that, but I thought it.)

Later in our relationship, I brought up the fact that so many, many, MANY guys love anal stimulation. After a lot of coaxing, he finally said, "you know, if you wanted to... do some of that... I'd be up for it." (Which, from his tone and the look in his eye, he meant "I really do want to, but seriously, please don't make me say that out loud.") But, um, as thrilled as I was... I am at a loss.

I've read about how to do it on someone else, I get that this will be trial and error, but... I am not sure how effective fingers would be. And realistic or not, I want to "get it right" the first time so he won't get the urge to bail on the idea because I -know- this could be a great experience for him.

About fingering? Am... I weird for wanting to use latex gloves? (xD It'd be fitting, though, I'll admit. He has mentioned that my job as a nurse brought to mind some interesting fantasies.) Anyone here know if that would feel weird? Worse / better? And, well, rimming is a no-no. For many reasons.

However, the bottom line (pun not intended) is this... I want advice on an anal toy. I know about all the different types from my own play time, of course. But I didn't exactly start off in a conventional way. >_> And I want to find something that isn't going to freak him out, you know?

That's why I mentioned the "fear of being bi" thing. I get the distinct impression that if I come at him with anything shaped... realistically, he will -panic-. On the other hand, accepting toys as a whole is new to him, too, and he's a virgin in this area, so anything complicated or too big is a bad idea, too.

I... was leaning towards the "bead sticks"? (Pulse flirtation stick, to be precise. I realize it's pink, but hell, he likes pink. xD Or, well, he likes my pink lingerie, haha.) It's small, flexible, powerful enough to be interesting, texturally nice, not overwhelming...? But I know that while it IS built for anal, it is -not- built specifically for prostate stimulation. It's just, most p-spot toys are kind of intimidating.

So, the beads: Is this a good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions on toys? Comments? Instruction or techniques? I'll take anything. His birthday is this month and... I've got some plans, and I'd like for this new experience to be part of them, I just -really- want to make him as comfortable and at ease as possible.

[bbarney]

I can totally relate. When my gf first said she wanted to use a strapon on me i was like "HELL NO" because i thought only gay men did that and even though i knew i was straight, i didnt want to be viewed as gay. When i finally caved in and let her buy one and try it, i didnt hate it, but it was only intriguing. Now i love it.

The best way to approach this is small>big . Youre best off with a variety of small toys some that vibrate, some that dont. However i understand ideally one to two toys is best for most so i would suggest those beads, especially if they vibrate, and maybe a finger rammer. They fit on your finger and are nice (and clean). I personally like fingering, penetrating or not. Latex gloves arent weird, i did that my first time on my gf, but since then i learned to just be clean (in and out) and i dont have to worry. If you want him to be clean inside, just have him eat fiber, go do his business, then shower (or shower together). This will make sure everything is clean (fecal matter tends to remain in the rectum only when its about to be released).

Lube is great, itll make things easier and more fun. Color doesnt matter (or at least not for me) but i had the whole "too realistic" thing too. In time he will likely get over it. Heck a year ago i wouldve never thought id like my girlfriend pounding my ass, now i brag.

Once hes comfortable feel free to try new things, plugs, orgasm balls, maybe even a strapon too. Its a hell of a lot of fun.

[bbarney]

Oh and P-spot isnt a concern for a newbie, thats when youre more comfortable. I tend to have strong orgasms from just having it inside me and stimulating myself whereas others can rock to orgasm after an hour and love it. So when hes comfortable doing it for a while and really hitting the spot for a long time, then get something like that.

[LoveBitten]

I can totally relate. When my gf first said she wanted to use a strapon on me i was like "HELL NO" because i thought only gay men did that and even though i knew i was straight, i didnt want to be viewed as gay. When i finally caved in and let her buy one and try it, i didnt hate it, but it was only intriguing. Now i love it.

The best way to approach this is small>big . Youre best off with a variety of small toys some that vibrate, some that dont. However i understand ideally one to two toys is best for most so i would suggest those beads, especially if they vibrate, and maybe a finger rammer. They fit on your finger and are nice (and clean). I personally like fingering, penetrating or not. Latex gloves arent weird, i did that my first time on my gf, but since then i learned to just be clean (in and out) and i dont have to worry. If you want him to be clean inside, just have him eat fiber, go do his business, then shower (or shower together). This will make sure everything is clean (fecal matter tends to remain in the rectum only when its about to be released).

Lube is great, itll make things easier and more fun. Color doesnt matter (or at least not for me) but i had the whole "too realistic" thing too. In time he will likely get over it. Heck a year ago i wouldve never thought id like my girlfriend pounding my ass, now i brag.

Once hes comfortable feel free to try new things, plugs, orgasm balls, maybe even a strapon too. Its a hell of a lot of fun.

Awesome~ Thank you so much! I really appreciate the feedback from a guy who's been there. I'm trying to put myself in his place, thinking about all this, but an -actual- guy's advice was what I was really hoping for.

... I'm also, admittedly, feeling a tad more hopeful since you mentioned the activity my circles refer to as "pegging" ... >///> I'll admit it, that idea secretly really appeals to me. But I can't bring myself to even mention that yet, I don't wanna scare him off, lol. But...well, hopefully, if this works out? He might warm up to the idea.

A variety, huh? Yeah... the beads vibrate, (which, I personally love,) but I think you're right, maybe looking for one more additional, non-vibro-toy would be wise, in case it's too much or just not his thing. Finger rammer? *blink* I've actually never heard of that before. xD He's an -exceptionally- picky eater, but I will definitely advocate co-showering. <3 Good tips.

That reminds me, I should probably buy some more lube. (xD Well, even I don't tend to care about color provided it's functional, but... I just want to steer as far away from that whole, "does this make me gay?" thing as possible. Hopefully, though, it won't matter.)

So... really? Not only are you comfortable, but it's something you're even -proud- of now? ^^ That's the part that makes me feel kinda hopeful, hehe. Thanks once again, your post made my day. (And possibly several days to come. )

[bbarney]

No problem, glad to help.

Yes, pegging is the term for it but some people dont know it so i dont tend to use it. It did take some warming up to, but I am most definitely proud of it, it is just so much fun. It is odd for a female to understand the social stigmas (as i have seen at least) and its even odder as a male to understand the source of the social stigmas...because they make no sense at all. Hopefully he will learn that pretty quickly. One of the things that helped me was these forums actually, just knowing other men tried it, or wanted to try it and who were secure in their sexuality made me realize it was okay and i could relax.

In the case of the finger rammer, this is the one on the TT site http://www.tootimid.com/finger-rammer.html. The only rammer i have i got from spencers and its just a simple toy you attach to the end of your finger (mine can vibrate but i dont like the vibrations). Its similar to fingering but has a different feel to it, mainly the stiffness and the width, but it comes down to personal preference.

Hopefully things work out well the first time, keep us updated if it goes well, would love to hear that yet another man has realized anal does not equate to homosexuality =).

[Kinky Twinkie]

A prostrate massager. I tossed out my butt plugs which always wants to pop out and I in limbo on the strap on cause my wife thinks it to weird( although she likes receiving) even though she did it a few times a few years ago. I was ify on the massager but have been reading and hearing great things about it. OMG it is the best and you can wear it discreetly and pleasure yourself even if your outside mowing the lawn. It fits perfect, really comfortable, dosnt come out. Worth the try.

[cazna2525]

My boyfriend was really squeamish about the idea of anal play. I understand why. He was paranoid about being bisexual in his teen years, which was something he was kind of scared of admitting to me. (I told him before that I don't give a damn, even if he was, or is. We're together, he loves and wants me, so who cares? xD "So, you'd probably still love me even if I was a dude. Cool." Did not say that, but I thought it.)

Later in our relationship, I brought up the fact that so many, many, MANY guys love anal stimulation. After a lot of coaxing, he finally said, "you know, if you wanted to... do some of that... I'd be up for it." (Which, from his tone and the look in his eye, he meant "I really do want to, but seriously, please don't make me say that out loud.") But, um, as thrilled as I was... I am at a loss.

I've read about how to do it on someone else, I get that this will be trial and error, but... I am not sure how effective fingers would be. And realistic or not, I want to "get it right" the first time so he won't get the urge to bail on the idea because I -know- this could be a great experience for him.

About fingering? Am... I weird for wanting to use latex gloves? (xD It'd be fitting, though, I'll admit. He has mentioned that my job as a nurse brought to mind some interesting fantasies.) Anyone here know if that would feel weird? Worse / better? And, well, rimming is a no-no. For many reasons.

However, the bottom line (pun not intended) is this... I want advice on an anal toy. I know about all the different types from my own play time, of course. But I didn't exactly start off in a conventional way. >_> And I want to find something that isn't going to freak him out, you know?

That's why I mentioned the "fear of being bi" thing. I get the distinct impression that if I come at him with anything shaped... realistically, he will -panic-. On the other hand, accepting toys as a whole is new to him, too, and he's a virgin in this area, so anything complicated or too big is a bad idea, too.

I... was leaning towards the "bead sticks"? (Pulse flirtation stick, to be precise. I realize it's pink, but hell, he likes pink. xD Or, well, he likes my pink lingerie, haha.) It's small, flexible, powerful enough to be interesting, texturally nice, not overwhelming...? But I know that while it IS built for anal, it is -not- built specifically for prostate stimulation. It's just, most p-spot toys are kind of intimidating.

So, the beads: Is this a good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions on toys? Comments? Instruction or techniques? I'll take anything. His birthday is this month and... I've got some plans, and I'd like for this new experience to be part of them, I just -really- want to make him as comfortable and at ease as possible.

My boyfriend was really squeamish about the idea of anal play. I understand why. He was paranoid about being bisexual in his teen years, which was something he was kind of scared of admitting to me. (I told him before that I don't give a damn, even if he was, or is. We're together, he loves and wants me, so who cares? xD "So, you'd probably still love me even if I was a dude. Cool." Did not say that, but I thought it.)

Later in our relationship, I brought up the fact that so many, many, MANY guys love anal stimulation. After a lot of coaxing, he finally said, "you know, if you wanted to... do some of that... I'd be up for it." (Which, from his tone and the look in his eye, he meant "I really do want to, but seriously, please don't make me say that out loud.") But, um, as thrilled as I was... I am at a loss.

I've read about how to do it on someone else, I get that this will be trial and error, but... I am not sure how effective fingers would be. And realistic or not, I want to "get it right" the first time so he won't get the urge to bail on the idea because I -know- this could be a great experience for him.

About fingering? Am... I weird for wanting to use latex gloves? (xD It'd be fitting, though, I'll admit. He has mentioned that my job as a nurse brought to mind some interesting fantasies.) Anyone here know if that would feel weird? Worse / better? And, well, rimming is a no-no. For many reasons.

However, the bottom line (pun not intended) is this... I want advice on an anal toy. I know about all the different types from my own play time, of course. But I didn't exactly start off in a conventional way. >_> And I want to find something that isn't going to freak him out, you know?

That's why I mentioned the "fear of being bi" thing. I get the distinct impression that if I come at him with anything shaped... realistically, he will -panic-. On the other hand, accepting toys as a whole is new to him, too, and he's a virgin in this area, so anything complicated or too big is a bad idea, too.

I... was leaning towards the "bead sticks"? (Pulse flirtation stick, to be precise. I realize it's pink, but hell, he likes pink. xD Or, well, he likes my pink lingerie, haha.) It's small, flexible, powerful enough to be interesting, texturally nice, not overwhelming...? But I know that while it IS built for anal, it is -not- built specifically for prostate stimulation. It's just, most p-spot toys are kind of intimidating.

So, the beads: Is this a good idea? Bad idea? Suggestions on toys? Comments? Instruction or techniques? I'll take anything. His birthday is this month and... I've got some plans, and I'd like for this new experience to be part of them, I just -really- want to make him as comfortable and at ease as possible.

[cazna2525]

Hi,u sound like sutch a very very special ladyur man&u,r going 2 have 1 of the best sex ever.i think many guys,would not want their pgland stimulated,they may think of their doc.my first time happened out of the blue, the lady gently eased a finger into my hole &gave me the best orgasm i then yet ever had.after that 1st 1, i reall y didnt want 2 ask efoqp it but did hope so .some ladies i enjoyed, did it automaticatally.now,i ask for it,just as i like 2.i have expanded&now take moorin mz bot,but, only from ladies.not too long ago ,i thooghly enjoyed ayually getting a strapon slowly being put up me,loved. It so much.blew my brains &cum otshde felt proud to.im not gay,love. women 2much.keep on expanding his male vajina,cause thats just wat it is&it takes ladies like u to explore it.cogrratulations.

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