My opinion is you should seek counseling he isn’t helping your depression or your self esteem. I have asked my wife of 26 years for a FMF but she is not into that so I respect that and have stopped asking focusing on us. I am sure you are still very attractive and should not let him make you think differently. I hope this helps and hope things get better and he wakes up and realizes what he has and what he could lose.
I currently have 23 everyone has a special meaning in my life tributes to family, pets, friends and life changing events in my life that have tested my inner strength.