I have to talk to someone, so here goes. Feel free to comment. You won't hurt my feelings.
I met Tony online in 2001. We dated long distance for almost 4 years. He was newly divorced. (2nd wife) . T was a hopeless romantic and still is. He showered me with Love and Attention. He has a great corporate job, and we had lots of sex. But I was "vanilla" so he taught me to be more adventurous. As the years progressed, we had sex in public, anal, shaved my pussy, a fmf 3some, a hooker and one bisexual experience at the end where he blew another guy. Just before we broke up he went to a gay bathhouse. Then came the HORRIBLE mean breakup.
I never contacted him again, because i was afraid he might do something bad to me (online pics or who knows what). He never did and I lost track of him.
15 years goes by and one day Feb 2019 he messages me on FB. i don't answer, but for 2 months he posts subliminal messages to me on his fb page. Things that remind me of our good times. Finally in May I call him.
My mind is so mixed up. He is Bisexual, married to a gay guy half his age, and says he is also transgender. So i say "What do you want from me" He wants a trip down memory lane on the phone (phone sex included) I talked to him but not sexy.
Last week i happened to be in his city and we met for 1 hour, hugged kissed and freaked out. I am not really afraid that he will do anything bad to me, But he says he wants me in his life, even if its just a bit on the phone. He realizes that we will NEVER have sex. His sexual behavior is with his husband and still sometimes goes to sex clubs. He watches porn every day, blows his Husband everyday. He messages me love notes, says he loves me - SO WHAT!
I am so upset because he is still the same person inside, but he totally went into these new lifestyles. I am Vanilla. I love his love for me, but what's the point. He has been married 4 times (this is the first man) is wants to transition to female and his favorite thing to do is give a man a BJ while a woman watches.
I know he is Broken, but i don't know what to do.