We have been married 48 years - about 4 years ago the wife unit announced that she just did not want to have any sex any more. I decided to let her have her space and I said "no problem", I'll just take care of myself. I do o.k. at it and we sit in the living room right next to each other while I have at it. At first I felt a little strange jerking off sitting next to my wife, making as much noise as I often do - but it seems fine now. I started "sounding" about 2 years ago and I got her to slide one in once, but she never did it again. So I just take care of myself and I'm getting much better at it!