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Hi. I just want to say congratulations. You are obviously a strong woman because you are daring to get out and do what is right for you and your girls. I can't give you any better advice than has already been given to you on here, except to find a good counselor and stick with it until you work out your self worth issues. You would not stay in relationships that you do if you did not have those type of issues. Emotional abuse is worse than physical abuse because it is harder to pinpoint as abuse. When someone is hitting you, it is obvious, but when they take blows at your soul, that is harder to see. Continue to be strong and remember that others have gotten out and so can you. Good luck and I hope you find the happiness you deserve. I am divorced and while I miss the companionship and sex, I am so much happier alone than in a false relationship with someone that wasn't treating me or my girls the way I deserved. I will think good thoughts for you!!

I am really not a FWB type of gal, but even when I am first dating someone, I do NOT involve my children. I mean they know I am going out, but I do not introduce them or do things as a couple with them until I am pretty sure that the relationship is long term. This can be inconvenient, but my first priority is my girls! Thank you all for your answers. It has been interesting. I am still not so sure what to think when looking on dating sites and seeing so many men with the desire for a relationship but also for casual sex. I miss sex terribly but I am not the type to go out and have a bunch of casual sex with different people. I am monogamous at heart. So does this mean that they are not or not so monogamous? This is of course not a question for a first date. lol Take care all and thanks for the good advice!

Thank you all for your replies, info and support! Just for the record, we had expressed that we really liked each other. There were several comments made that made me feel like perhaps he was not sleeping with others. It was when he mentioned taking our kids bowling that I really asked questions. I surely wasn't ready to involve my little girls as that is SERIOUS business. I wasn't totally shocked when he said he was sleeping with another person but we had been seeing a lot of each other and I didn't really think he had much time outside of that to date. He has a friend with benefits. This wasn't the breaking up point either. He had serious communication issues and to me communication is so crucial to a successful relationship. It was a bummer because where I live it is very conservative and close-minded and I could not be with someone like that. I also had issue with introducing ourselves and our girls to each other. He didn't seem to think that his 12 and 13 year old daughters would realize there was more than friendship between us. My girls (5 and 8) would realize. Then again, I have my girls 95% of the time. . . They know when I go on a date because it means a sitter, lol. So think good thoughts for my dating life. It is hard to be 41 and not have a live sexual outlet!! I appreciate your posts as I have been a lurker for a few years. You guys give awesome advice! Anyway, this post was mostly out of curiosity because my younger friends (20s) felt like people who sleep with more than one person at a time were scum while some friends more my age feel like it is not so uncommon. Like I said, I don't have a problem with it as long as people are safe and honest. I would like a monogamous relationship at some point and would not want to be with a serial dater for long but am game for seeing if there could be something more. While I desperately miss sex, I am incredibly lucky and happy with my 2 amazing girls, house and a teaching job in a state that just laid off 26,000 teachers. Now that is NOT the kind of laid that is good. Thanks all!

Hi there. I figure the people on this site are probably pretty open-minded people and so I might get some much needed feedback without the judgment. I am a single 41 year old mom. I am dating and am naturally monogamous. I know that others are not and I don't pass judgment on them as long as they are up front about it and not cheating. My question is, how common do you think it is for people to be involved in multiple sexual relationships at one time and what are your thoughts on that. Is this an age issue? Male/female issue? Obviously being safe and using a condom is crucial. My last relationship I dated a guy for a little over a month. We had sex after the like the 5th date but I didn't find out (I finally asked for clarification because I was starting to like him) until a few weeks after we had been having sex that he was sleeping with at least 1 other woman. I told him it was important to communicate and be up front and honest. This is not why we broke it off. In the end he just ended up being a selfish jerk! Such a bummer!! Anyway, I would so appreciate your thoughts and advice. Thanks! Jenny