Luna

Military uniforms.. mmm. Whenever I happen to see them on town, for example, I just have to make myself look away. Otherwise I would just stare at them and forget completely where I was going

He explained that with the any other woman comment he meant that if he`s in the no mood (really sad or angry), it`s not something I (or any Miss World etc.) can change instantly but he needs his time. He`s definitely made me more self-confident but not perfectly healthy (that will be a long journey). He`s said he loves me differently than his male friends but his feeling vary (not in a way if he loves me or not but how much) depending on whether I`ve cried the last hour or not . I want to believe we`ll heal each other over time. I see the drawbacks as something we have to overcome, not hide from. (After all, we`ve lived together for almost a year. I know that can`t be the reason to stay together but living like this we`re saving hundreds and hundreds of euros every month when it comes to paying the rents. Without each other neither of us would be able to live in an own apartment.) Yesterday we had some of those good moments. A long moment, something like 1½ hours.. I thought I was going to get a heart attack almost any second Other than that, things will get better at least for the next three days because we`re going to the countryside (I`ve noticed I don`t get panic attacs there at all) where my family has a summer cabin for just the two of us to use. Plus we have a private beach there

I`ve often asked him if he`s a gay but the answer has always been no. He isn`t on any medication (but has been for years ago). And by saying usually I meant that he tries to comfort me when I`m sad every time he notices it. Sometimes he`s absent-minded or just listening to music with headphones (plus his hearing isn`t perfect anyway and that`s a medical fact) so it`s understandable why he sometimes doesn`t notice it if I`m crying in another room. Other than sex-wise he would probably be almost any woman`s dream (he gives me massages every time I ask and strokes me every now and then even when I don`t ask) but I`m just afraid I have turned him off by being more active than him. Plus I`m not the easiest person to be with in the first place (I cry at least once a day) and we spend all of our time together (except when he`s seeing his friends once or twice a week or when we`re at school or something like that). And the lingerie thing, to me he sounds more like he doesn`t know what he likes the most. At the moment it`s really not an option to move on. I want to study despite my (quite bad) panic disorder (I got it about 7 years before I even met him) and being around him calms me. When I`ve had exams, he`s often come with me just to be there for the last minutes before the exam begins (they`re the worst to handle for me). So he`s some sort of medicine for me (without the usual side effects). (Don`t suggest me to get anti-depressants or something like that. I love to study, the main subject I`m studying is a life-long dream come true and being on some drug would make it harder while the ability to learn wouldn`t be the same then.) So, because of what I am, I can`t enjoy going out the way young people usually do (whenever I`ve been to any sort of parties I`ve wished it was over from the beginning). Plus at the moment he`s trying to figure out what to do work-wise. Next month he should either start studying something or go to work but he hasn`t made his mind yet on what to do. Do you think that would be one of the reasons why he isn`t the way he used to be? And for the self-esteem, it`s so sad that it`s almost funny but I guess I`ll never have one. 9 years of bullying at school must have made it for me. Of course I`ve moments when I feel good and proud for myself, the way I am and how I`ve played my cards in life but certain things are always on the background. Thanks for your advice, keep them coming!

My bf and I have been together for about 1½ years. We talk about everything and joke and touch each other a lot. When we got together we used to have sex even multiple times a day but quite soon he admitted he`s doing it so often just to please me. Nowadays he would maybe feel like it once a week while I would do it every day. I feel like I have to earn it by being nice and quiet and not initiating it and that makes me feel bad. I`ve cried because of this countless times. (In my former relationship as well. Where are all the horny men when you need them? ) I`ve asked him what would turn him on but he just says there had to be some sort of subtle chemistry, so to speak, between us. I can`t make it happen like when we first met because we can`t meat again for the first time (even if we separated for a while, we would still know too much about each other). Seeing me naked doesn`t turn him on, I can run around the house with nothing on as much as I want. I`ve asked what kind of lingerie he likes but he said "it doesn`t matter as long as it`s ladies underwear". (I`m not sure if he just tries to make me feel better but he`s also said that any woman in the world could be in my place and he still wouldn`t be any more interested.) Even though this is driving me crazy I don`t want to leave him. He says he cares about me and usually hugs me when I cry (I do it often for various reasons). Some years ago I left my first bf because of another man who seemed to be more exciting and interested in sex. That another guy turned out to be a total jerk, however, but needless to say, I couldn`t undo anything and soon after we got together again (me and my first bf), he broke up finally. After that he has had even more mental problems than he used to have and I feel bad for him. Why oh why didn`t I see who really loved me and who didn`t? (No need to answer that, I know it was because of me being young and desperate for excitement and something new and forbidden.) I don`t want to do that mistake again and that`s why I`m here asking for help. And oh, thank you for your answers in advance

I wouldn`t recommend trying to orgasm before the intercourse because after that some women experience soreness and oversensitivity. However, if you already know you aren`t one of them then go for it. But, as already mentioned, lube is your friend and communication, too. If something hurts, say it. Don`t take too much pressure about making the first time perfect technical-wise.