clynn20

My husband will make comments on occasion, however he always lets me know that he would never stray. We have talked about it and he says that generally he says things to see how I will react. Latley he has changed to saying something on the lines of that woman over there keeps making eyes at me. On the whole I find it very disrespectful. After our talk it calmed down and I found out he was looking for me to be jealous and to know that I feel like another woman would find him attractive. In other words he was searching for some self esteem building from me. Now I realize that he is a man and they are visually stimulated. If I did not know him so well I would have thought he was giving me a bunch of bs to keep me from being mad. Just remember we have to make our men feel like they are sexy and we still want them like we did in the beginning of our relationships.

I agree with Tyger. You have be be able to deal with the aftermath. Imagining the images in your head and reality do not always translate to pleasure. Have you discussed this between the two of you. The fallout could destroy what you have. I just urge you to really put a lot of thought into this.

I have been on birth control pills, a shot that you get every three month, and the patch. With the shot I retained a lot of fluid and started loosing hair. My friend had none of those probelms with the same method. As the others have stated discuss your concerns with your Dr. You may have to try more that one to find the right one for you. Good luck

I am in agreement that 14 is way too young. And by the way kids start finding out that rubbing there genitals is pleasurable way before their teenage years but they leave it at clit stimulation. I do think that parents have to talk to their kids about sex earlier. They hear so much more now. You can't watch the news with your children in the room. My daughter asked me if I have sex when she was three. She had no clue what is was but had heard someting on TV. My husband and Father were generally oblivious to what was on the TV when she was in the room. I warned her Dad so that he would be prepared for the question. I just asked her where she heard about sex. That was enought to satisfy her three year old curiosity. Around the age of four she started rubbing her privates, my husband at least knew this was normal and it did not truly shock him. He did ask me to talk to her about it. I still have to remind her that it is a private thing to do, not worng or dirty, but private. My husband will come to where I am and say "she's in the living room doing the wiggle thing again." He is afriad he will embarrase her so he askes me to handle it. Luckly my mother was always honest and talked to me about sex. However she made it clear to my sister and I that if we were adult enought to engage in sexual activity we were old enough to take care of the birth control deal with out her. No mom taking you to the Dr or buying condoms. She did not have a clue about sex and ended up pregnant with me at seventeen. The most her mother ever said about sex was something along the lines of don't get pregnant without the how to avoid it. I completly advocate talking to your children about sex and having an open communication line. I do not believe that a 14 year old needs an insertable vibrator. Her parents need to find out what the status of her sex life is and talk to her about what is going on in her life. I am old fashion and hope that my children wait until marriage. I am old fashion in the thinking that I doubt more that my son will make it to his wedding night than my daughter. I will not however be suprised if neither of them wait. I do not regret waiting, but I do know some women who do. I just do not think 14 is old enough even in today's world where kids know more much earlier.

Thanks for the advice Howard. I may have not explained the situation with the kids clearly. The biggest problem wiht the kids is that they are lacking the attention they want and need from their father. Thus it makes bedtime hard. They do much better when he is home and helps with the betime routines. Lately he has been depressed, there is also a history of depression in his family from both parents, and is under treatment. He is not always up to joining in on the routines or tolerent of our sons natural rambuciousness and our duaghter's moodines. (Some of the meds reduce sexual desires and I have not read up on the recent addition) I completly understand much of what he is dealing with due to my own troubles with severe depression that is now under control. The kids do not understand and are reacting in the only ways they know how at this point. I have worked with children since I was a teen. I have a Secondary Education as well as Early childhood Education. I have worked in a Child development center and had to attend many seminars ranging from dicipline to the stages of development from conception to late teens. I am not a perfect parent by far but I do have quite an arsinal of tools when it comes to my little ones. That being said, it gets frustrating and tiring being the only parent in a two parent household. I know what kind of Father he can and wants to be as well as what kind of husband he can and wants to be. We are working on helping him get back there again. As for our sex life, I do what ever I can to let him know I desire to be with him and he is as sexy as ever. The times he turns away or tells me to leave him alone I do because I understand and he knows I do. I have told him as much. Although I understand I am only human and get frustrated by our situation. My biggest fear is that we will both go through a rough patch while our medications are adjusted or changed at the same time. If it does I pray our children are grown and out of the house. I've been on his side of this situation and he has been on mine. I am trying to be paitient until we are both on the upside of our disorders. I've been doing well for three years now. I have ups and downs but they are the normal ups and downs everyone goes through. As opposed to the irrational thoughts and panic attacks that I have dealt with since my early teen. He has been under treatment for almost seven years now. The first medicine worked great up until a year and a half ago. He tried to blame it on mono, which he did have. Hoever a year later when his blood work finally came back normal the doctor realized how much his depression was a part of what was going on with him. That was about four months ago. The first new med worked but not quite well enough. We are waitiing to see how the new combination of meds works. So far it makes him sleepy thus the sex problems. My first meds did me the same way except he can get aroused, I didn't. They have told him to reduce the prescirbed amount. He tried half the amount and still it was too much. Now they have reduced him to 1/4 the origional dose. I am seeing some improvements he helped tuck the kids in last night. They went right to sleep. He even joined our tea party in between the "day job" and a meeting with a client. He is going on an over night camping trip with a friend for some male bonding. It is a good step. Soon he will be back to touching me in places the kids should not see him touching me and grinning when I tell him that one of the kids could come in the room at any minute and whispering in my ear what is likely to happen when the kids go to bed. Reading the origional post set off a venting session for me. Thanks again for the encouragement and advice. Sorry this post is so long. Sexysouthernmom

Thanks for the advice Howard. I may have not explained the situation with the kids clearly. The biggest problem wiht the kids is that they are lacking the attention they want and need from their father. Thus it makes bedtime hard. They do much better when he is home and helps with the betime routines. Lately he has been depressed, there is also a history of depression in his family from both parents, and is under treatment. He is not always up to joining in on the routines or tolerent of our sons natural rambuciousness and our duaghter's moodines. (Some of the meds reduce sexual desires and I have not read up on the recent addition) I completly understand much of what he is dealing with due to my own troubles with severe depression that is now under control. The kids do not understand and are reacting in the only ways they know how at this point. I have worked with children since I was a teen. I have a Secondary Education as well as Early childhood Education. I have worked in a Child development center and had to attend many seminars ranging from dicipline to the stages of development from conception to late teens. I am not a perfect parent by far but I do have quite an arsinal of tools when it comes to my little ones. That being said, it gets frustrating and tiring being the only parent in a two parent household. I know what kind of Father he can and wants to be as well as what kind of husband he can and wants to be. We are working on helping him get back there again. As for our sex life, I do what ever I can to let him know I desire to be with him and he is as sexy as ever. The times he turns away or tells me to leave him alone I do because I understand and he knows I do. I have told him as much. Although I understand I am only human and get frustrated by our situation. My biggest fear is that we will both go through a rough patch while our medications are adjusted or changed at the same time. If it does I pray our children are grown and out of the house. I've been on his side of this situation and he has been on mine. I am trying to be paitient until we are both on the upside of our disorders. I've been doing well for three years now. I have ups and downs but they are the normal ups and downs everyone goes through. As opposed to the irrational thoughts and panic attacks that I have dealt with since my early teen. He has been under treatment for almost seven years now. The first medicine worked great up until a year and a half ago. He tried to blame it on mono, which he did have. Hoever a year later when his blood work finally came back normal the doctor realized how much his depression was a part of what was going on with him. That was about four months ago. The first new med worked but not quite well enough. We are waitiing to see how the new combination of meds works. So far it makes him sleepy thus the sex problems. My first meds did me the same way except he can get aroused, I didn't. They have told him to reduce the prescirbed amount. He tried half the amount and still it was too much. Now they have reduced him to 1/4 the origional dose. I am seeing some improvements he helped tuck the kids in last night. They went right to sleep. He even joined our tea party in between the "day job" and a meeting with a client. He is going on an over night camping trip with a friend for some male bonding. It is a good step. Soon he will be back to touching me in places the kids should not see him touching me and grinning when I tell him that one of the kids could come in the room at any minute and whispering in my ear what is likely to happen when the kids go to bed. Reading the origional post set off a venting session for me. Thanks again for the encouragement and advice. Sorry this post is so long. Sexysouthernmom

Thanks for the advice Howard. I may have not explained the situation with the kids clearly. The biggest problem wiht the kids is that they are lacking the attention they want and need from their father. Thus it makes bedtime hard. They do much better when he is home and helps with the betime routines. Lately he has been depressed, there is also a history of depression in his family from both parents, and is under treatment. He is not always up to joining in on the routines or tolerent of our sons natural rambuciousness and our duaghter's moodines. (Some of the meds reduce sexual desires and I have not read up on the recent addition) I completly understand much of what he is dealing with due to my own troubles with severe depression that is now under control. The kids do not understand and are reacting in the only ways they know how at this point. I have worked with children since I was a teen. I have a Secondary Education as well as Early childhood Education. I have worked in a Child development center and had to attend many seminars ranging from dicipline to the stages of development from conception to late teens. I am not a perfect parent by far but I do have quite an arsinal of tools when it comes to my little ones. That being said, it gets frustrating and tiring being the only parent in a two parent household. I know what kind of Father he can and wants to be as well as what kind of husband he can and wants to be. We are working on helping him get back there again. As for our sex life, I do what ever I can to let him know I desire to be with him and he is as sexy as ever. The times he turns away or tells me to leave him alone I do because I understand and he knows I do. I have told him as much. Although I understand I am only human and get frustrated by our situation. My biggest fear is that we will both go through a rough patch while our medications are adjusted or changed at the same time. If it does I pray our children are grown and out of the house. I've been on his side of this situation and he has been on mine. I am trying to be paitient until we are both on the upside of our disorders. I've been doing well for three years now. I have ups and downs but they are the normal ups and downs everyone goes through. As opposed to the irrational thoughts and panic attacks that I have dealt with since my early teen. He has been under treatment for almost seven years now. The first medicine worked great up until a year and a half ago. He tried to blame it on mono, which he did have. Hoever a year later when his blood work finally came back normal the doctor realized how much his depression was a part of what was going on with him. That was about four months ago. The first new med worked but not quite well enough. We are waitiing to see how the new combination of meds works. So far it makes him sleepy thus the sex problems. My first meds did me the same way except he can get aroused, I didn't. They have told him to reduce the prescirbed amount. He tried half the amount and still it was too much. Now they have reduced him to 1/4 the origional dose. I am seeing some improvements he helped tuck the kids in last night. They went right to sleep. He even joined our tea party in between the "day job" and a meeting with a client. He is going on an over night camping trip with a friend for some male bonding. It is a good step. Soon he will be back to touching me in places the kids should not see him touching me and grinning when I tell him that one of the kids could come in the room at any minute and whispering in my ear what is likely to happen when the kids go to bed. Reading the origional post set off a venting session for me. Thanks again for the encouragement and advice. Sorry this post is so long. Sexysouthernmom

Everyone has had some great advice on this one. I am going through a similar time in my marriage. My husband works two jobs, and only one truly brings money into the house. The second has on occasion placed us in debt. (He and his business partner have been building a residental & commercial construction company since 2004) He doesn't look at porn or play video games though. Thats me. We only have two children however neither wants to go to sleep and will not stay in their room either. Right this moment both children are out with friends and he decieds to go for a run with a friend. My sex drive has been very high the last few months and he is the one that is not really interested unless it is to roll me over in the middle of the night and be in and done in minutes with little or no foreplay. Prior to the children starting their sleeping problems, the kids were asleep, I put on his favorite red chemise walked over to his recliner and tried to kiss him. He was more interested in the two men who were trying to pumle each other in a fight he had already seen. We had no vacation sex on vacation. Not even once and we were in a cabin with our own bedroom and jacuzie tub. I did get some pretty good action on my birthday no big O but much better than what has become the norm. However I had to initiate. The other partner has always initated on our birthdays as an extra gift. Oh and he has already had the big V so no worries there. All this has been to say you are not alone. As much as my husband would hate to admit it, he is not as sexually motivated as before. No he is not having an afair. At least not with a person. His second job, but not a person. If my sex life was better there would be no porn (so far just the free online clips) or those romance novels that detail the sexual longing and acts. It is frustrating and for me not as satisfying when your oragsims are not caused by your partner. Yes I do talk to him I know that some of you will ask that if you reply. He says things will be better when he can quit his "day job" and his own company can be his sole income. I am ready to tell him he is going to have to put a little money on a rabbit vibe or something of the sort. He is only into costumes and occasionally soy whipped cream (milk allergy). He has been patient with me in the past when I was dealing with recovering hormonally from each of our children. I can be patient with him. But I cannot wait until my patience is rewarded. Maybe then I will be able to sleep instead of staying constantly frustrated with him snoring happily away beside me each night. Don't stray & Don't give up. Men have their issues too.

I agree with myknkyfn. He will want you to enjoy what you are doing. In other words he wants you to be able to enjoy pleasuring him. Just be careful of the teeth.

I once asked my husband how he felt about sex toys and all he would say is it depends on the toy. So far I have stuck to costumes and whipped cream. May be they will come around more. I am wondering if it has anything to do with the Southern upbringing of males.

I've offered to watch porn with my husband and he has not taken me up on the offer. I have caught my father watching porn in the wee hours of the morning while growning up, but have not really sat to watch a porno myself. The people in the movies are choosing to be in porn and choose what they will or will not do. I would never have chosen to be in a porno but to each his or her own.

Katie Browning Really boring Huh? My real first name would be much better. It is Candy. I got teased a lot in middle and high school being told I have a stripper or porn name. I had a insurance sells man make rude remark about my name and non the less he did not get the sale. It is generally a fun game and I do like reading everyone elses replys

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I think Howard maybe going a little overboard. However he still could be right on the money. You need to talk to her and try to get her to speak honestly with you. The further delve into sexual acts the harder it is to not have intercourse. I was determined for various reasons to be a virgin on my wedding night. It was partly religious and partly because so many women in my family were pregnant prior to marriage. Many of them using protection and I was not going to be one of them. My attitude never changed about my mother knowing that my parents were only married two weeks prior to my early arrival into this world, however my sister had a hard time dealing with the knowledge. I did not ever want to have to go through with my children what my mother and sister went through with each other. Luckly my now husband was as determined as I was and we never were weak at the same time. I have never viewed sex as dirty. I am more adventurous than my husband. I find myself being the one to introduce new things. Don't expect your girl to be so adventurous at the beginning. We have to learn about our bodies and what feels good to us and that can take some time for some women. Then again maybe what you are doing feels too good and if you continue she is afraid she would want to seal the deal. I think that communication is the key.