MichelleM

It looks like a bruise on my leg, but it's just a shadow

Wow, thank you so much for all of the help and tips. This, hands down, has to be the best website in the world! Where to start...... I loved all of the comments (good, bad, or indifferent). I read them over and over and really took a look at myself, my life, my husband. His ED has always been an underlying factor. Even the very first time that we tried to have SI, it didn't work. My affair and his ED did not coincide. When I did have an affair we were actually on the brink of divorce (not that it justifies it). I do love my husband, I regret what did, but I did it. I have to live with it. But, I will never tell him about it. He did go to a doctor for his ED, but in a half ass way. He went and said "Doc, I don't work all the time." And the doctor said, "Oh, do you like your wife?" And he said, "Yeah." And she said, "Okay, here is a sample pack and a script." That was it. He really should have taken it to the next step and got a serious check up. But that' the past. The NOW is awesome. This website has completely changed us. It's only been a few days, but what a difference. I came on here, got information about vibrators, the differences between them, and how to use them (you would think that it would kind of be self explanatory, but it doesn't hurt to get educated). I learned how explore myself, touch myself, look at myself. It's fun. It's fun and I was always taught that it was taboo to do. Then, I was reading different articles in the sex ed department and came across shaving. Read all about it, how to do it, etc. Went home that night and did it. I have alway toyed with the idea (a couple of years ago) but my DH told me that he does like it when women do that, so I never did. BUT, it was time for a change. Yesterday we both had off. He was sleeping and a slinked into bed with him. Mid-Day, could you imagine? We hadn't done that in years. Anyway, it started off nice, with hugs and scratches on the arm. Then I told him that I did something naughty. He got a look of concern, then I showed him. At first he was baffled and ask why. I told him that I wanted to be spicy! That it was time for a change, and since it was his birthday, I was making a mid year resolution. Well, that was it, 2 hours later, and his freshly shaved cocked, life is taking a turn. At that time we didn't have SI, we started to but his ED kicked it, but it wasn't a problem. When we were done I asked him, "I just want to make sure, you had fun? Even though you didn't cum?" We smiled and said, just pleasuring me was enough for him. The cool part about that is that we never really talked about that. Anyway, when we got home, later in the night, I told him to take a pill (I never would have done that before, we never really talk about the pill). He was kind of shocked, but went to his nightstand and did it. Fireworks!! He said that it was best birthday ever. I can't thank this website and you helpful people enough. Thank you!

Hello All! I just joined yesterday and wanted to introduce myself. (I didn't just want to lurk in the background, reading everyone's thoughts but not posting mine) Thanks to this website, I went out and bought my first sex toy. It's a Jack Rabbit Vibrator. I walked into the sex shop, all confident, it was very exciting and very out of my comfort zone. Holy Cow!! But the thrill was very exciting. I figured, "These people are in here too, who are they to judge!" Hurray for Me! I am a 35 year old female. I have been married for 7 1/2 years. I have a wonderful husband and we are like best friends. My sex life sucks!! When we first got together, we were like rabbits. I couldn't get out of bed in the morning unless I got a piece. Everyday, at least once a day for over a year. Then I had the great idea to get the birth control shot. Holy crow was that a mistake. I went from overdrive to reverse. So, needless to say, I stopped the shot. Too Late. We then decided to have a baby, a beautiful little girl that is now 6. (Let me just throw in that I also have a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship). But my sex drive was never the same. Fast forward....We've had so many discussions, disagreements, blah blah blah about the fact that I'm just not like I used to be. Now, to make matters worse, my husband has a slight case of ED. He always had a problem (not all the time, but it's like walking on egg shells.) If we have sex all the time, every day, he's fine, but when it cut down, that's when the problem got worse. Pretty much, if we ANY kind of foreplay, he won't be able to keep his erection long enough to climax. So, if he's ready, it's like wham bam thank you ma'am (did I just write that?). So, to add to my lack of sex drive, he has ED, so if I'm in the mood it's a struggle because I figure, "Do I even bother? Will it work?" Then I start to feel self conscience thinking that maybe he's not into me anymore. (When I'm in a normal frame, sitting at work, driving a car, and I think about his problem, I know that it's not my fault, but when we are in the moment, I can't help but to feel like I suck.) 2 years ago he went to the doctor and got a prescription. It worked, but he doesn't like to take it because it gives him body aches the next day. So, 2 years ago he got a prescription (never filled it), free samples (like 12 of them) and we still have about 9 left. Side note: Sorry I'm writing so much, it's just lovely to get this off of my chest. Now, the most interesting/terrible part of my whole story is that I'm a bad person. I figured out that I really like the thrill of the chase. I had an affair. I had an incredible extended weekend of just sex. No emotion, no lets talk, just sex! I couldn't get enough! I had to leave or I probably still would be in bed with the guy. That was about 2 1/2 years ago. We still e-mail and stuff but he lives on the other side of the country. Obviously my husband never found out or else I don't think I would still be married. While I'm airing my dirty laundry, I'll just tell you that it was his cousin that I fooled around with. I actually flew to CA to have my weekend trist. I told you that I'm a bad bad person. Anway....as I said, we still keep in contact via e-mail. It's just basic, how's the wife/husband and kids and stuff. BUT, the other day we had the weirdest phone sex! I don't know if anyone has every done it this was before, but it was text/picture cell phone sex. He sent a pic, I sent a pic, a word here or there....Lovely! Well, I mastrubated. I haven't done that since I was a kid. Seriously, I was one of those people that thought it was nasty etc. But, I couldn't help it. It was awesome. Well, the good part of this story is coming. It really awakened me sexually. I think about sex again (that's how I found this website) I wanted to go out a buy a vibrator, I want to touch myself again. This weekend my husband and I went to NH (to see the race, GO Tony Stewart) and he must have gotten a vibe from me, I brought a plaid skirt, little shirt etc and we had amazing sex. (the next day I emptied his pants pockets to pack and I found the blister pack from his little pill but that was okay because he wanted to take it). So, fast forward to yesterday, I bought my first toy, went home and waited for him to go to work (oh yeah, it also doesn't help our sex lives that he works M-F nights from 10 pm - 6:30 am) We only sleep in the same bed for 8 nights a month. After he left, I got the girls settled in bed and played with my new toy. How much Fun!!! Now, I have to keep it hidden, but I would like to eventually play with it with him and get more toys. But that will be a different post. Thanks for you time and this site, boy do I feel better!