i came across the same problem wit my ex. his ex was grossed out about swllowing or she would spit, so it was frustrating for me since i love for a man to come in my mouth and taste his pleasure.. i tried a few things and they did start to work, you might try some, first have you 69? i would hold off on orgamin till i knew he was close, you can tell because it gets so much enlarged and you can feel the viens getting so big they feel like there going to burst, then i let myself go and that worked 80% of the time since he was so relaxed when i came that he didn't even think about it and wow to his surprise he was coming in my mouth.. another trick is you said that you start with giving him a bj then finish off with him having sex inside you, have you tried doing just the oppisite, while having sex and he is about to cum have him pull out real fast and have him put it in you mouth and start sucking, maybe use your hand to keep the motion going. this can be a little tricky so you have to be fast on that one. another trick was just to give him all the pleasure, don't let him touch you, this is quite a turn on for both i think. use your mouth then use your hand and give him a hand job, or let him give himeself one and when he starts to cum have him squirt it in your mouth and you just lick it and take all of it in letting him know how much you love the way he taste, the way he smells, wipe some all over your body, let him know how much you love it and i think he just might get over his complex..i'm no expert but i wish you all the luck..keep us updated and smile and relax cause all this can be as much fun as the climax, well almost lol,,