Wow, this sounds all to familiar to what I went through at first. I will start with a little background about me: I am 39. I was molested once when I was a child. I was a vigin when I got married. My husband and I have been married for over 20 years. I could get all worked up while making out with my husband BEFORE I went on BIRTH CONTROL PILLS right before we got married. After that, I could not get worked up for nothing. It was a chore! I didn't even want to try. Thank God I had a patient and loving husband. The very rare times that I would start getting into foreplay the molestation would pop into my head and make me feel dirty and I would have to fight not to loose the moment. It was a very mental issue with this one. I was finally able to forgive and get over the molestation/dirty feeling. Now what about the pills?? I will give you detailed info on that if you are on them and would like to her about my experience. You have to come to a point in your mind that you realize sex with your husband is a wonderful thing. God gave you each other and you are meant to be able to enjoy each other in all aspects of your life, including sex! Now, the foreplay issue. I don't want my husband to come up to me and say "let's do it" (unless i am already horney and ready to go)! That won't get him anywhere. Sex is so much more than intercourse! You have to enjoy each other's bodies. I love when he will come and sit down beside me and start giving me a foot or back massage or run his fingers through my hair. Those are my favorite starters! If you just go for the clit or vagina right off the bat, they are still asleep and wouldn't want to be messed with! They need to be woke up BEFORE they are ever touched for me! This can come in different ways at different times. Sometimes no matter how much touching, kissing or oral I get my body will not respond. I have learned that if I touch HIM in certain places it will drive me WILD!! One is as simple as him laying on his back and me slowly rubbing across the lower part of his belly. This arouses me so much and I don't have to be being touched myself for it to arouse me. You are going to have to slow down and take time to explore each other's body and find what works for you. Who knows, your turn on might be his big toe. It is different for everyone. We are not exact molds of each other and have different wants and desires and needs. I think it would help if you both realize that you need to be statisfied before intercourse. There is sooo much more to sex than just having a penis stuck in you! Slow down, explore each other and start foreplay long before your ready to "do it". You need to start it mentally. Start thinking about the wonderful things you would like to do to him and that you would like to have done to you. After you learn what you need and enjoy, you can really let your mind go wild and be turned on before you ever lay eyes on him. It will take time, but you are worth it. I am still learning, after 20 years, things I enjoy. Never say no to anything until you try it. You never know it might just be the thing that sends you over the top! Now, if we can just find my g-spot! lol