Queensman

It has to be boxer-briefs since that is what my girlfriend likes. It seems to me that the girls around my university prefer them, so most of the guys wear them. Sometimes I wear boxers, but I have come to prefer the tighter fit of the boxer-briefs.

Shyla - don't worry about this at all. Guys really don't care about this and we know that girl's parts are all different (just like our equipment is). If this fellow really likes you, I can guarantee that this will not register with him at all - as a matter of fact he will love your body just the way it is. So don't get yourself down at all and be happy with who you are. The sexiest thing of all is personality and confidence and this is what you should be cultivating in yourself - not worrying about a small insecurity (and we all have them!). If a guy is bothered by this, as DADT said, he is not worthy of your time or company. Good luck, Shayla, and take care

Gee, thanks, Iha. Just as I was feeling really reassured by all the ladies' comments (ok, eminatic, you made me a bit nervous) I have to hear you sing that I better buy a weedwacker. I'm starting to feel insecure again! Alright, alright it really made me laugh, Iha - well done! Thanks for all of your comments (and to ohshelly for the effective pep talk! I agree - those guys were just a bunch of losers without girlfriends!). Unless I notice any obvious signs of disgust on my girlfriend's part, I'll stay the way I am. She's Armenian - maybe the guys don't shave in Armenia? And I'll stay out of Speedos.

I didn't know where to post this, so I hope it is alright here. The other day I was in the locker room of my university gym and the guys started talking about body hair. They were razzing me a little because I have a good amount of it. They were saying it was the ultimate turnoff for the girls and the last thing they wanted was a guy that looked like Chewbacca (I don't look that bad!). I can take a razzing pretty well and I gave as good as I received, but it left me wondering. I don't give a toss what the guys think, but I do care what the girls think. I notice a fair number of guys shaving it off their chests when I go to the locker room. My girlfriend has never said anything about it, but maybe she wouldn't even if she hated it. That bothers me to think that might be the case. So I don't know what to think. I was wondering what the women on here think? Even if I do decide to get rid of it, what do I do? I don't think I could shave it (how do you shave your back anyway?) and waxing sounds painful and it seems to be only temporary. Should a guy just get rid of it in some places but not bother in others? The only thing I have ever done is just clip back the pubic hair. Any advice appreciated!

A friend of mine just returned from Japan and he was telling the guys in my dorm about this new device he saw there (most of the guys had never heard of sex toys for men so this was a first). He had never tried it but heard other guys say it was amazing. Maybe like the male equivalent of the rabbit for women? I found this video on youtube about it. Personally, I'm not very interested - I'll stick to the old methods. I think male sex toys are just a bit of a turn-off for me. But maybe some guys would like it. Maybe TooTimid should get a few in stock? Has anybody here tried this or heard anything about it?

Thank you, Vanilla Bean, that was very kind of you to say! I know what you mean, SuzyP, the gym is a bit too expensive for me too. If it wasn't for my university gym at the moment I would be out of luck. I think the motivation you mentioned is a big factor - it is not easy changing our routines and finding time. Maybe I would just start out small and change your diet and the portions you have? Maybe cut out some really bad things like soda and bad snacks as a start as well. Then once you build momentum you can move on to a walking regimen and some light aerobics. That progression seemed to work well for all the ladies I was with. Anyway, SuzyP, just a thought. Good luck with all that you are doing! I read that you are involved in the theatre? I just tried out for a role in Tom Stoppard's "Arcadia" (probably will not get it though) and just finished reading Yasmina Reza's "Art" - have you read that SuzyP? If not, you really should, I think you would like it a lot - really witty and insightful. Best wishes, Queensman

I noticed in the results and discussion that many ladies are concerned about weight issues. I am only a college guy and I have always been an athlete so I do not have a lot of experience personally losing weight, but I worked as a trainer at a good gym near my home last summer. The people I worked with were mainly ladies who were overweight and I have to say their commitment, determination, and humour were very inspiring to me. I think in the three months I was there they each lost about 15-20 pounds. We had a lot of camaraderie and good times along the way too. I think a very important point is that it involves a lifestyle change - a change in the way you eat (what you eat and how much you eat), what you drink, and what you do. It is not about going to the gym but changing your life and your view of life. Judging by what I witnessed with the lovely ladies I was with, it is almost spiritual. As I said, being with them was inspiring - far more inspiring than the ultra fit men and women who were also around. So, I suppose what I am saying is that all of you ladies here are so wonderful in so many ways, this is something that is VERY achievable and it can transform your life completely. It will make you feel better about just about everything in your life. It is never, ever too late to get on the right road! Anyway, I just wanted to add these thoughts. Best wishes to all of you, Queensman

Wow, thank you to everyone for your kind responses. Thank you so much. It has really made me calm down and feel a bit better. Nobody has ever spoken to me about these things before. Synirr - I read and re-read your post last night and it really, really helped me. I really have to get over the stress - it is not helping me or my girlfriend. Aiden - thank you for your thoughts and for directing me to the articles. Just glancing through them makes me realize I don't know anything. Yes, my gf is a kind person and she will be understanding when I summon the courage to just talk to her. Maybe I'll walk with her along the Potomac this evening and have a heart-to-heart talk with her. Tyger - thank you very much for your thoughts - they really helped me. Your answer made me realize that I am probably doing a disservice to my girlfriend by doing what I have been doing. Since she is a good person, why am I so worried she would react differently from her nature? I'll have to get over worrying about the toy as well. It seems silly when I think about my reaction - it just felt like it was competition for her affection and maybe she would prefer it to me. FuncplinKY - thank you for your post it cheered me up a lot. My brain really is the problem and I am going to get out of my room. I think, as you said, I just need to get over this hurdle and then things will become more natural and better. I really appreciated your thoughts about everyone goes through this - all the other guys seem to be beyond this. Which means I couldn't talk to anyone. So thank you very much for taking the time to help me.

Thank you Aiden and Tyger for your comments. Aiden - yes, I see that you are right about the communication with my gf. I am a rather formal guy and I have trouble with this - I am outgoing with my girlfriend because I want her to think the best of me, but I am generally rather shy. Tyger - I see your point about being habituated to my approach. I will try the "normal" way more consistently and see what happens. No, my gf does not know I am a virgin - it has just never been mentioned in our conversations. I have only been with her three months and she is the first girlfriend I have ever had. Truth be told, Tyger, I am very aware of having no experience and I am afraid of failing her which pains me a lot. I look at all the toys for women on this site (I never knew things like this existed three weeks ago) and I feel more pressure to be great sexually for my girlfriend. The thought of disappointing her makes me sick. When I was sitting in my girlfriends room I accidentally found her (large) vibrator by a chair I was sitting in. I was horrified to have inadvertently invaded her privacy. That is why I came to this site - I barely knew what it was. I am amazed and a bit intimidated by what these things can do. And if she has experienced these wonderful things with these vibrators won't I disappoint her? She certainly will not disappoint me, but seeing disappointment on her face would kill me. I want to be the best for her - it is vanity but it is also because I love her and I worked very hard for a year to win her heart. I am sorry if this does not make much sense, but it has really made me anxious. I am rather afraid of getting intimate so I have been avoiding her in the evenings recently. She is getting a bit upset at me. And as I mentioned earlier, I am having trouble getting an erection which is making me more fearful. I am very fit and athletic and I do very well in school, and I am with the girl of my dreams but for some reason my confidence has taken a beating. Anyway, Aiden and Tyger, that is my situation.

Thank you for your replies Aiden and Iha. Aiden - I understand your point about communication and it is an excellent one. My gf and I have never been together sexually so she does not know about this. I've never been with a woman. If it were otherwise I would hasten to tell her the reason had nothing to do with her. Iha - thank you for the reference. I noticed they seem to base their results on this Dr. Sank but wikipedia (for what it is worth) says this about him: Lawrence I. Sank[45] thought that masturbating prone (lying face downward) could be responsible for sexual problems in some men including anorgasmia and erectile dysfunction. He based this theory on four men he examined and coined the term traumatic masturbatory syndrome to describe it. As of 2008, no follow-up research has been conducted and the idea is not familiar or widely-held within the medical community. Some authors, however, continue to give it credence.[46][47] (wikipedia entry on "Masturbation") So I am still somewhat confused.

I'm new around here and I thought I would ask you people a question that I can't find an answer to anywhere and I really can't ask anyone I know. I'm a 19-year old college student and all my life I have gone solo just by laying prone, face down. I do not use my hands at all. Just the movement of my hips. Someone mentioned to me that this was a dangerous thing for a man to do and it could ruin him for when he was with a woman (and, yes, I'm a still a virgin). Something about destroying nerve endings? This really worries me - I have never done it any other way. I can't even get myself off with my hands - I seem to need the full body movement. Do I really need to stop this and am I really different from most men? (I am having a bit of a problem in my life at the moment - which I might ask you about later - and I am having trouble getting an erection. Do you think my style of getting off is doing this? My girlfriend is getting upset at me for avoiding her - and I am avoiding her partly for this reason (she does not know about it). This is just making me more nervous and worried. Thank you.