dogg

This came up in the other thread, I thought it might make a good question. If you marry someone, is it not your duty to have sex with them? Because when you marry, you are effectively saying, I will look to my partner for sex, my partner only, and I will try to fulfill my partners needs. So it's a safe, happy enviroment. That's the way I see it. I know there are circumstances...that come up. But I mean in the context of a marriage where both partners are healthy and physically able to have sex. That said, I'm not talking about forcing one partner to have sex when they are sick, tired..or just plain don't want to at that time. At least that's the way we work it. Frankly I don't want sex if someone is..fulfilling a duty. That happened a couple of times to me in the past. She just didn't feel like it, or was too tired, but didn't want to disappoint me. I told her, I'd rather wait..until she wanted to , and felt like it, rather than just perform a duty..like it was a household chore. So I don't know if "duty" is the right word. I don't demand my wife have sex with me, whenever I want, nor does she demand it from me.

I don't really know enough about the situation, so can't say where she's getting the pills. He indicates they are prescriptions, which makes me think there are different doctors who aren't aware of everything she's taking. BUT I don't know that. Sitting here reading replies and thinking, maybe going to the doctor with a FULL LIST of all meds is the only answer. She really looks rough, and she was a pretty lady when she was younger. Not that looks are everything, but I'm saying you can see the effect these meds have taken. To my knowledge, she doesn't have any disease or serious malady. (not like cancer or diabetes or anything like that) I'm undecided about sex being a duty or not. I thought in a small way it was. Let me say, I owe it to my wife to have sex with her, as she's agreed she will only look to me to fulfill her needs, and not outside the marriage. And vice versa. That said, there have been times I've been too tired (unbelieavable a male would say that) and times she was too tired, or didn't feel like it. So we waited. In other words, neither one of us feels forced to have sex if we don't want to .

Oh and btw, this isn't one of these..." a friend of mine" type notes, that is really referring to me. This guy isn't me...my sex life is good for the most part. Sure I want more (most guys do!) but at least I'm having sex. For many years my wife wouldn't even give a BJ, at least to the point of me cumming in her mouth. Now she does it, and doesn't mind at all. She enjoys anal sex (as do I) as well as pretty much everything else. (just us, no extra partners though). So this guy in the story is definetly not me. I hate to sound like a cad, but if I were him I'm not sure I could have stayed faithful. Sad to say, but I'm being honest.

I should stress, the hypocondria remark..was in my opinion, and I'm not a doctor. It just seemed, over the years, every time a new "condition" came up, she seemed to have it. Frankly I'm surprised she takes so many meds or rather is able to get them, unless she's seeing different doctors. I know from years ago, she thought she needed to take a pill to go to sleep and another (at the same time) to make sure she woke up at a reasonable time the next day. This was in her early 30s. I didn't buy that then, and don't now. But she believed she had to take these. It could be she *actually* needs them...I'm not a doctor, but I really can't believe anyone needed as much meds as she did at her young age (then 30s..now late 40s) outside of someone with a disability or life-threatening condition. I've not seen her in years, and I was shocked at how ravaged she looked when I saw her yesterday. She's 48 and looks 60...and not a healhful 60. So maybe I was wrong to jump the gun. I did suggest they talk to a doctor and see if the meds were affecting her libido, and to see what's needed and what's not. That could also be a good thing, in that she would only be on what she needed if any. The husband, probably has his faults, but he's as nice a guy as you could meet. I get the impression, that she pretty much is the leader in that marriage, not him. If she doesn't want him to do something, he doesn't. Hence, the reason I think they "could" be having sex, but then again..I'm making assumptions, and I don't even live in the same town, much less the same house. I feel sorry for him. Sex is a built in natural drive, like hunger...there's nothing wrong with him, for wanting to have sex with his WIFE! I don't see how he stands it, or hasn't cheated (which he says he hasn't...)

A friend of mine confided in me, that it's been over a year since he and his wife have had sex. She's always been a hypocondriac (spelling?) and for years would get this prescription and that, and sometimes I wonder how she's still living... (too much meds). He says when they were first married, it was normal, but her desire went down in the last few years, and last year..nothing. She's not physically disabled, nor has any kind of medical condition that prevents sex. I was shocked. I mean, there have been years when I didn't get as much as I wanted, but never completely went w/o. He's not cheating on her, they seem to love each other very much. (they've been married 16 years). He doesn't want to pressure her. I suggested, that he approach her about counseling and/or seeing a doctor. To reassure her that he has physical needs, but more than that. If it were all just physical, he good just get it somewhere else, but he wants to share with her. I'm still shocked. I know sometimes we guys joke about not getting sex, but this is the first time I've talked to someone who actually isn't. To be frank, I'd have a VERY hard time staying faithful in that situation. I give him a lot of credit. What else could I have told him?

We're both in our mid-forties...and have had a good sex life. Howver, lately, by the time we can get to bed...one or both of us are so tired, it's a tough going. The other night, I was really up and ready..my wife was exhausted. Last night, she was giving me the most awesome BJ, but I was so tired, I had trouble staying excited. We moved on to intercourse, and it was nice. Sometimes slow and easy aint all bad. However, I was dissapointed, because she was really energtic and feeling it last night... When were first married, it wasn't unusual to go 2-3 times in one night. I mean the first year or two. Of course, I was in my early 20s then.... For the record, I've been on a (reasonable) diet, gettting plenty of exercie..which increases my sex drive...but sometimes, no matter what...I just get tired! With 2 kids still in school and a grown daughter and her son living with us (the baby is 2) it's not always easy to get to bed before 10 pm. Any suggestions..for energy? I think winning the lottery and quitting my job would get me lots more rest, but until that happens...what I can do?

I sorta subscribed to the philosophy that if my wife is willing to taste it, I should be too. My problem is losing interest so fast, afterwards. One thing that helped, was after I came in her mouth, I immediatly entered her pussy, (missionary position) and kissed her. It kept me hot enough. And honestly, the taste didn't bother me..really wasn't a taste. And it sure turned her on, so I've no doubt she'd be up for that. As for eating creampies, I don't know how she'd react..but I'm sure she won't mind. About a year ago, it took me awhile, but I got up the nerve to lick her ass, and she loves it. Now it doesn't bother me at all

Thanks for the welcome. Been happily married for 27 years. Not to say there haven't been ups and downs. But a good run so far. Three kids, nearly grown. We married young (we were 20 years old)

In all the years we've been married, and all the things I've wanted to try, this has never come to mind. I have to say, it sure sounds hot. I'm not sure how my wife would respond. Although awhile back, I came in her mouth, and the kissed her, and did a little "swapping", and she *loved* it! After a couple of times, she gave me a BJ, and she was waiting for me to do the same..and I just couldn't do it. I really can relate to the OP's concerns. I just lost all my drive to do so. However, I'm thinking of just going ahead and doing it, based on the tips I've read here..and keeping in mind, it makes her hot!

I sort of stumbled onto this forum by accident. What a great place. What amazes me, is many of the questions and concerns I've had, are the same as many who have posted here. I look forward to learning from you all. I'm married, 27 years, 46 year old male. Sex has been good, but we are always willing to try new things. Great store too! Oh ...and sorry about the silly/stupid user name. It was the only thing that came to mind right then. I hope it's ok.