DADT

There are men who don't really get that there is more to cunnilingus than just cunnilingus. Sad because making a women feel great is really fun, and not just for the gal. So I'd like to help. Guys, some of this will seem like bs. Just try to keep an open mind. You love her, right? You think she is a babe, right? Say so. Actually tell her. Don't go "Honey, I love you & your great rack" and then dive for the target. No, you are creating a mood, like getting ready for Thanksgiving. Try a midday call to tell her what a great SO she is. Add spice by telling her how that tight T-shirt and jeans affects you. This mental foreplay will arouse her. She will hear that she is the object of your love and lust. How great is that? Ready from actual contact? Hold on. First a chat about her day or what's on her mind. Helps clears the decks. Makes her feel cared about. Next, she will want a nice hug and sweet kisses on the mouth. It costs nothing. Go on. Psst! This is actual physical foreplay now. See twinkle in her eyes. Now stand behind her. Begin to kiss her neck softly. Nibble the ear lobes. Use your hands to caress her hips, butt, inner thighs. Cup her magnificent breasts. She is still fully dressed, but not for long. She should be pressing her butt against your groin. She wants to feel that you are as turned on as she is. If you aren't then you are clinically dead. Noticed that you are in control, but you are doing what she wants. You are reading her mind. Big Turn On! Time to undress her. You got an armchair in the living room? Head to it. Have her sit down so you can gallantly relieve her of those unnecessary garments. As you reveal her body, you are telling her how great everything looks and feels. Once she is naked, get naked yourself, and then kneel in front of her, pressing your chest up against her bush as her legs pass either side of you. She is reclining comfortably. Kiss her tummy side-to-side, up-and-down. Take your time. Next, is boob spa day. Stroke the outside of her breasts with your hands. Then stroke over the top just barely caressing the nipple on the way over. Yeah, you are torturing her. Is she complaining? Yes, because she needs your wet, warm mouth over one of her aching, hard nipples...NOW! You softly suck and release one of her nipples for a while, sometimes running your tongue around the aeriola. Then repeat on other breast. Is her tummy getting tense? Is she pressing her bush into you and squeezing with her thighs? Has she wrapped her arms around your head? Are her eyes closed? Is she breathing heavy? Can you smell nectar? Put her legs either side of your head. The back of her heels are resting on your back. Hold the back of her thighs in each hand and spread her legs. Kiss her inner thighs, working close to the bush and then retreating and then back. Start talking about what you are going to do with your mouth and tongue. OK, she's suffered enough. Start to stroke her lips and clit with your tongue. North-to-South, East-to-West, clockwise or anti-clockwise. Its all good as long as you get the pressure right and are not going fast. Casually licking an ice cream. Taste good? It should. She's been marinating since you took her cloths off. Keep gliding your tongue at a steady pace and pressure. She will let you know if she needs it harder & faster, or concentrated more on the clit. Every so often come up for air and tell her how good she tastes. Then back down. Some gals like to have their man suck all her lips into his mouth. Try gently sucking it all in and releasing a few times. She is probably ready for her O. Is she grinding herself into your face? Clamped her thighs around your ears, grabbed you by the hair? Is her stomach clenched? Start licking just the clit, going a bit firmer and faster than before. Meanwhile, take a finger and start to press it slowly into her canal, going a little bit deaper with each thrust. It should slide in quite easily. After a few minutes of simultaneous licking and fingering she will be shuddering and bucking in the chair. Keep licking but ease up a bit, and slow down your finger as you gradually bring her gently back to Earth. That’s one way to put a smile on her face.

There are men who don't really get that there is more to cunnilingus than just cunnilingus. Sad because making a women feel great is really fun, and not just for the gal. So I'd like to help. Guys, some of this will seem like bs. Just try to keep an open mind. You love her, right? You think she is a babe, right? Say so. Actually tell her. Don't go "Honey, I love you & your great rack" and then dive for the target. No, you are creating a mood, like getting ready for Thanksgiving. Try a midday call to tell her what a great SO she is. Add spice by telling her how that tight T-shirt and jeans affects you. This mental foreplay will arouse her. She will hear that she is the object of your love and lust. How great is that? Ready from actual contact? Hold on. First a chat about her day or what's on her mind. Helps clears the decks. Makes her feel cared about. Next, she will want a nice hug and sweet kisses on the mouth. It costs nothing. Go on. Psst! This is actual physical foreplay now. See twinkle in her eyes. Now stand behind her. Begin to kiss her neck softly. Nibble the ear lobes. Use your hands to caress her hips, butt, inner thighs. Cup her magnificent breasts. She is still fully dressed, but not for long. She should be pressing her butt against your groin. She wants to feel that you are as turned on as she is. If you aren't then you are clinically dead. Noticed that you are in control, but you are doing what she wants. You are reading her mind. Big Turn On! Time to undress her. You got an armchair in the living room? Head to it. Have her sit down so you can gallantly relieve her of those unnecessary garments. As you reveal her body, you are telling her how great everything looks and feels. Once she is naked, get naked yourself, and then kneel in front of her, pressing your chest up against her bush as her legs pass either side of you. She is reclining comfortably. Kiss her tummy side-to-side, up-and-down. Take your time. Next, is boob spa day. Stroke the outside of her breasts with your hands. Then stroke over the top just barely caressing the nipple on the way over. Yeah, you are torturing her. Is she complaining? Yes, because she needs your wet, warm mouth over one of her aching, hard nipples...NOW! You softly suck and release one of her nipples for a while, sometimes running your tongue around the aeriola. Then repeat on other breast. Is her tummy getting tense? Is she pressing her bush into you and squeezing with her thighs? Has she wrapped her arms around your head? Are her eyes closed? Is she breathing heavy? Can you smell nectar? Put her legs either side of your head. The back of her heels are resting on your back. Hold the back of her thighs in each hand and spread her legs. Kiss her inner thighs, working close to the bush and then retreating and then back. Start talking about what you are going to do with your mouth and tongue. OK, she's suffered enough. Start to stroke her lips and clit with your tongue. North-to-South, East-to-West, clockwise or anti-clockwise. Its all good as long as you get the pressure right and are not going fast. Casually licking an ice cream. Taste good? It should. She's been marinating since you took her cloths off. Keep gliding your tongue at a steady pace and pressure. She will let you know if she needs it harder & faster, or concentrated more on the clit. Every so often come up for air and tell her how good she tastes. Then back down. Some gals like to have their man suck all her lips into his mouth. Try gently sucking it all in and releasing a few times. She is probably ready for her O. Is she grinding herself into your face? Clamped her thighs around your ears, grabbed you by the hair? Is her stomach clenched? Start licking just the clit, going a bit firmer and faster than before. Meanwhile, take a finger and start to press it slowly into her canal, going a little bit deaper with each thrust. It should slide in quite easily. After a few minutes of simultaneous licking and fingering she will be shuddering and bucking in the chair. Keep licking but ease up a bit, and slow down your finger as you gradually bring her gently back to Earth. That’s one way to put a smile on her face.

How come? What is he not doing? Is he rushing you?

So nobody you can trust with your feelings. Not even your parents I'm guessing. And you are probably too mad to ask him what does he want to do with his life if he ever stopped drining beer. You live in a small town too? Where everybody knows each other? Well it seems like there are nice people here to write to when you feel the need.

Agree on the "talking." Some men aren't good at talking, and don't want to become good at it. Stubborn and Ass are hard to cure. Wish we all could help more. You are probably a wonderful lady. Guess you have more on your mind than not getting yours after hours. You have real world friends you can talk to who understand?

Forgot to ask. What does she mean by wild? A little BDSM? Side order of anal? Playing acting seeing teacher after class? Or does she just want him to get in tune with her body? If she doesn't tell him how can he fix.

Ouch, Cowgirl! You are only 25? Too early to feel that way. Have you talked with Mr. Cowboy? Not argued. But talked.

Ignore. clicked wrong button

She should just say what she wants him to do while they are having sex. When he does it good, give lots of encouragement. When he isn't redirect him. Don't even talk about no vanilla, just wild. Just teach him what she likes. Basic retraining.

WTF. He'd rather drink beer than be ready to rumba when you get home at night? He pretends to sleep while you massage his package? Kinda sad. Mr. Cowboy want to stay married? Can I be his stunt double?

So tell him how you feel. Mr Perfect can handle it if he is Mr Perfect. IMO 33 is a bit old to be talking out loud about hot chicks whether you are with the guys or watching TV with the GF. Someone else had the right idea. Some thoughts just have to stay in your head. So go ahead. Just calmly tell him that you don't like hearing those thoughts. Also, try turning off the TV and describing to him what makes your toes curl. Give him a more engaging hobby.

Just thinking out loud, My Lovely. You were treated badly & hurt deep. Your Ex gives the rest of us guys a bad name. Some guys are just mean or stupid or both. These guys don't like themselves much and take it out on their GFs. But a lot of us like all kinds of women and all kinds of looks. PSST! Ladies, I have a secret. Being smart, funny, and friendly has always been sexy to the right kind of guys. Yeah, that's right. If you have those three, how you look may not be as big a deal as you thought. Somebody should have sent a letter about this, right gals?

I do agree with you. Women feel really bad if they don't measure up somehow. A lot of men don't agree with Hollywood that's all. Shoop shared her feelings on another thread and has good personal reasons to feeling the way she does.

He wrote that to his family? Did he eat lead paint as a kid? Be glad he is now your Ex. He's pathetic. Feel good about your BF now, and forget the Ex. Therapy rambling is good for you. Glad you shared. We're pals now.

Wow! Does everyone in school know this? I didn't get the letter from the Porn Association. I'm turned on by the wrong women? I like bleached and shaved now? Someone could have told me. Will they hold me back a year? What did your letter say? Tall, tanned, blue eyed, muscular, with 12 inches of meat? Lucky you. I get distracted when I see air bags where boobs are supposed to be. What's this? Ice Cream Association letter. We like Chocolate & Coffee? But I just bought a pint of Oreo. Radio Association. Hip Hop, R&B, and 80s Oldies. Some Elvis on Sundays with a note from your doctor. TV Guide. Massive doses of Reality Shows, Sports, Cop Shows, Soap Operas. Phew. All situations I live now, about people just like me. Wait, where's the Beer letter? What kind of beer do I drink? I can't trust my taste buds anymore.

Too bad you needed a pep talk. The EX was a real prince. Real Men don't notice stretch marks. Maybe some parts of you look even better after the babies? Curvier hips & butt Maybe? Real Men do notice that...and love it.

So what is HOT?" People likes different kinds of looks, and seeing different t acts performed. HOT to you might be JUST OK to me. Porn is like a fantasy buffet. The choices are endless. It is easy to blame porn, but really porn is not telling you what to like the way regular TV does.

Sexy is "between the ears." Its an attitude. You had kids. Could not tell. You look awesome. Of course, your BF kisses you on the tummy. And probably anywhere else. He can't get enough of you. You need a pep talk? You're kidding!

If God knew that sex & physical appearance were causing so much anguish, she'd be very upset with us. Porn is just another kind of entertainment. A fantasy world for escape. It is meant to be extreme otherwise it wouldn't be so stimulating. And that's how it should be judged. And we should never, ever, use it to judge ourselves or anyone else. Most people don't expect or want their fellow "average citizens" to look like or act like the people in adult movies. Turn off the TV & throw out the glossy magazines. All the things we think we don't like about ourselves would stop mattering. Think of all the free time you would have to feel good about yourself & your SO. Time you could spend doing.....I dunno......exploring......delighting......enrapturing!

"On a side note, she is kind of controlling, a perfectionist and really wears the pants in the relationship, could this affect him as well?" ARE YOU KIDDING! YES IT WILL AFFECT HIM! IT WOULDN'T AFFECT YOU? He brings her to orgasm and then disengages? Nothing medically wrong? Then he's really mad at her, and its been built up over many years. Probably feeling dominated, emasculated, & frequently criticized for his many perceived faults. And if he were to express these feelings to her, would it lead to a heart-to-heart examination of their relationship? Or an angry outburst about how her needs are not being met? Am I warm? So what part of that is a turn on? Where is the incentive to reconnect? If you really want to help her, tell her she should not be complaining to you, but really talking to her husband. He's checked out. If she wants him to check back in, then she'll need to be ready to hear things that she won't like. Yes, they are going to need counseling. He probably stays because he loves his kids. But perhaps I'm off base.