Honestly, when I read this...it is very hard to imagine that everything is hunky-dory in you and your husband's personal life, out side of sex.. It seems like this has been going on for quite some time. I say this not to hurt you but, if your husband is unwilling to have sex with you and is using your alternate lifestyle as an excuse to fulfill his desire..for me, it would seem as though he IS cheating. YOU and YOUR marriage should come first. Outside stressers in his life MAY be a factor, but he made his marriage vows to.... Am I making sense?