AprilMay85

while this is a valid argument (1)I agree and tried for 3 days or so but i'm just one of those people that wants sex all the time... and (2) we share a studio apt... we do have a couch he/i could sleep on but its right next to the bed so idk how that would help. he has been good the past 2 weeks, we are trying to work on it... we'll see

Thank you. I totally agree, I should be more important! I don't believe this was a valid reason, that was however his reason for the cheating but the reason for asking girls for pics (and telling them he was single)... either way its no better. But I don't want to be taken to court over moving out by my landlord. So, I am trying to make the best I can out of the next four months. He has talked to several friends of his and keeps telling them that he just wants to make me happy and doesn't know how, so he is not listening to them or me at this point b/c they have all told him the same thing I have. Either he doesn't really want to try and just wants to look like he is to them or he is just not ready to listen... idk

Me too! thanks... and at very worst atleast since he loves to drive i will save myself a lot of miles on my car driving to work the next few months, lol. but really I hope it works out, and eitehr way i'm glad its a lesson i'm learning now and not after i've been married for 20 years.

Thanks for all the advice :-) Right now we are trying to work things out, I'm still not sure this is going to work but I'm trying. I'm not being 100%naive either, its just that our lease doesn't end until the end of October. I have previously spoken to the building manager about moving b/c I don't like our building and my original lease was supposed to end June 1st. I'm sure if i really really tried and talked to a lawyer or something i could get out of it but I can barely pay bills now. I can't afford our apt by myself anymore because I lost a job in January and i/I'm only working part time. Even if we could get out of our lease I don't have anywhere to go, my parents have a tiny house and my sister and her daughter were having a hard time and just moved in with them. And being this age all of my friends either still live with their parents or are also living in small apartments. Also right around the time this was all happening he got laid off. I don't think this is an excuse but I also know when I lost my job in January I was devestated. The day of my first post was the only day things were really uncertain. Since then (fri, sat, and sun) he has been really sweet. he seems to understand that I can't just forget about it. I have forgiven him, i had a huge problem with my mother when i was younger and held something against her for 5 years, I just can't do it again it didn't help me with any aspect of the problem. He has told me a few times in the past week that he only wants to be with me for the rest of his life and that he is willing to do anything and everything to prove that he loves me. So, we have 4 months to see weather this will work out. he did find a new job, and I was also hired at the same place, he thinks he did some things b/c he was lonely while i was working. We can carpool together, and I will be getting paid more than I am now plus overtime so I can save money, safety net no matter what happens. And, while I know its not absolutely necessary to explain myself to all of you... I had loaned him money when he over drew a bank account a few months ago, and normally he has given me x-amount of dollars per week and I write the checks to pay the bills. I feel like trying to work things out over the next few months, pass or fail, I am more apt to get paid back at least part of the money I am owed. I will be back with updates, as I said before I like you all because you are honest and not afraid to speak up, even if it may hurt. You all are great. Again, THANK YOU!!

been together 11 months, living together for 9 of them. I do think these are the only times I have asked him before if he has been with anyone else and he said no, though you may or may not believe me I'm 99% of the time able to tell when anyone is lying to me, i saw something in his face and eyes and i believe him here. We are both in our early 20's. I don't feel exact age is nessicary b/c I have read on either this forum or another 2 similar stories from a women in their late 40's and early 50's who appear to feel the same as i do. in both of these cases they had not been married or with their so for a very lenghty time. i think love is something you can have at any age and the pain i'm feeling can be felt at any age/ stage of the relationship. I would like your 100% honosy opinion however i think most of the time opinions should not be based on age. regardless i want your honost opinion weather we agree here or not. thank you :-)

I do know that you are all blatant and open and that is why i came here for advice. I posted few months ago when the cybering happened and you all had great advice but i had been using my email without the @yahoo as my user name on here and a friend of mine googled me (why i still dont know) and found out that i had posted here rather than coming straight to her and she got pissed that i wouldn't talk to her first. I do talk to her alot and we are very close but I wanted the opinion of someone who didn't know either of us... so as a result i have made myself a new account, with a user name that is unique to this site only. again thank you for any honost advice :-)

anyone have anything to say?

A friend of mine just brought this up actually... we were talking about having group sex, a 4-way i guess, and all 4 of us had talked about it together but then he was talking to me separately and was like "i really think this would be hott, and i don't care i can sit and watch while you 3 do it". I found this odd, really? u just wanna watch your gf have sex? My bf is also aroused by the idea of watching the two of us girls go at it, but after looking so long to have a 3-some he has decided that it would be awkward to have a 3rd person there (i think this is due to our recent issues). I still found it odd that he would be ok just watching, but i guess each to his own.

I think Honesty. I think you can't have trust, respect, or good communication without honesty.

About 2 months ago my bf had cyber sex with another girl, I got very hurt b/c i felt this was cheating and he thought it was just like porn. We had a loooooong talk, he agreed not to do it again. We discussed what is and is not cheating, and I know we were both very clear on the rules. I agreed to let this one go and forget about it b/c prior to this we had not discussed what is cheating and I felt like he shouldn't be punished for some thing he thought was ok, as long as it didn't happen again. A little less than 2 weeks ago he cheated on me... he made out with another girl, as far as we are concerned this is cheating and he knows it. He told me, last wednesday, its not like i went snooping and found out, and I know he feels bad, he cried for 2 hours on sunday when i didn't think i could be with him and said basically if he wanted me to forget about it he could forget about me. on sunday he promised me that he would go to counseling b/c in addition to this incident he has been online getting girls to send him naked pics and i found on his phone that he had given out his number and not only had she sent him pics but he sent her one of his dick. he also promised that until i feel l can trust him again he needs to tell me when he goes somewhere when he leaves home, gets there, leaves there, and gets home. basically the night he did it he had been texting me a little and then i heard nothing from him for like 2 hours. I feel and he agreed with me that because of this he needs to let me know where he is so that i can be reassured that hes not doing it again. now 4 or so days later he got made in the car today when i asked who he was texting and tonight we get home and he tells me hes going to a car show tomorrow and he doesn't know when he'll be home, i asked if her would call me when he leaves there please and he was just like "idk, we'll see". We live together and I believe that he loves me, I am head over heals for him. a small part of me is saying b/c he cheated i should leave him, but right now i feel so in love that I really want to work things out. So, am i right for wanting to keep an eye on him? or should i just let him be and hope i don't get hurt again? anyone been in a similar situation? any advice?