kmt

He did. I was shy, inexperiened and scared to death. I did return the favor but I didn't really know what I was doing. In the beginning I didn't like giving oral at all. Now I don't mind doing it but it really does nothing for me. Hopefully as I get more experienced I will begin to like it.

Well, if you can count that when my SO was going down on me the last time I was able to say "suck me harder" right before orgasming, then maybe a little luck. For months I couldn't even do that. The most I could do was moan or say I'm cumming. It's funny but I can say mildly 'dirty things' outside the bedroom and in a joking manner but to say these things and be serious I feel self conscious. I feel like it is unlike me and that I will sound stupid or something. I would love to use the "fuck me like you bought me" line but SO really hates that word. lol, it's so weird, he has no problem saying things to me but hates the f word and I have noooooo problem saying the f word and yet struggle with the dirty talk. Go figure. Thanks for asking ladylove.

Yes he does and I love him for that but I am also afraid that someday the blinders will come off and he will see what I see. I am 58, had five kids and at have battled with weight most of my life. Now, the weight is off and I am told by many, including my kids that I am hot, a MILF and some of my son's friends (17 year olds) told him he has a hot mom. And with clothes on I'll admit I have turned a few heads. It's when the clothes come off that's ugly. I see sagging boobs, sagging ass and stretch marks and all this is a reminder to me of how bad I let myself go. But he loves it, go figure!

lol, this would have been a double post so I deleted it. Still learning how the board works.

I could go on and on I guess but a little at a time. Thanks for your reply Tyger. The more I vent and hear other peoples thoughts the more it erases the old tapes and replaces them with new. I am very happy to have found TT.

Everything you've said is true. I've made the decision, now the only thing stopping me is fear. Now I have to decide whether or not I am willing to let my fears rule the rest of my life. I think not. Thank you.

The mint won't be a problem for me, just hope my SO doesn't mind the taste. lol, he hates mint.

The Viva cream has gotten a raving review and it comes in a trial size, I may try that one. I've tried having a few drinks before a bedroom session because it loosens me up and i drop some of my inhibitions, however, the alcohol de-sensitizes me and I feel nothing. That sucks, lol.

Have any of you ladies ever used clit stimulating creams? I would really like to know if they really work or if it's all hype.

Hmmm, dirty talk foreplay. I think I can do that.

I will do that ladylove. I have a question, the first time you talked dirty, was it uncomfortable and awkward? I know it will be that way for me. Do I wait until I am comfortable with the idea (which could take a long time) or do I just do it. Ya know, just jump right in and do it.

He he... You know the art of talking dirty is not always a bad thing Good point there. My mind automatically associates certain actions or words as making me either a 'good or bad girl' and I find myself having to rethink everything I've ever been taught about sex (or not taught) by parents, religion and even my ex husband of almost 32 years. So I want to talk dirty! So what! Lol, now I want to be so bad that I am good. Thanks for your input.

I was reading the forums yesterday and saw a post about talking dirty. It caught my attention and I wanted to post but didn't have the time so I came back here today to do it but now I can't find the post so I am starting a new one. (lol, how's that for a run-on sentence! Okay, I have a question. How does one get started with the dirty talk? It may seem like a silly question with the obvious answer being 'just do it' but it seems so out of character for me that I can't get words out. In addition to not knowing what to say I feel awkward and shy about it. I'm afraid to sound stupid and I guess afraid of being rejected. It would mean opening myself up to ridicule (at least in my mind) even though I know my SO would never ridicule me, ever. So if there is anyone out there who struggled with this and has any tips I would love to hear them. Time to drop this 'good girl' mentality I have and let the slut side of me out, if I have one that is. Lol, and if I don't I will create one.

Changing is hard work and at times very painful, but really, what are the alternatives? I have to keep reminding myself of that when it gets hard and I just want to quit.