I have been married 20 + years and up until this year oral didn't happen on my part. I agree that I think I was just scared or freaked out by it and yes the way you are brought up is part too. Close your eyes or in the dark works, try 69 at first that way you are both busy and your mind is on you being pleased as well as him, it seems to take the pressure off. As for the gag reflex, I'm pretty sure it has happned to everyone at first so you gag, it's to be expected! Go slow when you start to gag back off a bit. Honestly, after a few times you should be loving it, I do.