Members WendyNY Posted March 11, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 11, 2011 I liked this weeks episode. It was titled "Sex, Finance and Rapid Climax". Toni and Dave had been married about 10 years. Toni was much younger than her husband Dave. She was 33 and he was 43. They had 3 young children. (one was a new baby). I could tell RIGHT away that her husband was VERY depressed. He had been out of work for awhile and it was apparent that he was under an enormous amount of stress trying to deal with the financial issues.Toni and Dave had not slept together in a long time. They used the excuse that their bedroom area was not finished and it was very depressing for Toni to be in that room. It's true that there were some renovations that had been started in the upstairs bedroom hall area. Dr. Laura Berman pointed out that the baby's room had been finished and their room was not. She said this is true of lots of people---they put lots of thought into their children's rooms and theirs goes by the wayside. But, there was lots more going on than just not sleeping in their own bedroom.Toni was very sad about their situation. She was upset that Dave did not spend ANY time on her needs. I had to laugh---Dr. Laura Berman asked her how her husband initiated sex and she said ---"He puts his crotch in my face and unzips his fly". There was no foreplay, kissing or quality time to their lovemaking. (If you want to call it that) Sex took a whole 3-5 minutes and he was done. Some of their "homework" was to spend one night in their bed (that they never slept in---) and just cuddle together and spend time talking.Dr. Laura Berman had this couple to go a Tantra Yoga Studio. They spent time touching and learning how to take time with each other. They had more homework to do--that was to tell each other how much they appreciated each other. Toni very rarely complimented Dave and it made him feel as if she just didn't care. I think this is very true for lots of couples. Sometimes you just don't think about all those wonderful things your partner does for you. I have been guilty of this in the past also. I try to compliment my husband on all those awesome things he does for me. He has so many incredible talents. Both men and women love to be appreciated and need to be made to feel worthwhile. Dave was also given "excercises" to do to help with his premature ejaculation problem. He had to learn to slow down and use a stop and start method. I know that lots of men suffer from this problem. They did have sex and it lasted much longer than usual. They were feeling much more connected also. They were in a good place when the show ended. (and I believe Dave had finally found a job !! That in itself is a HUGE stress reliever) I found the link to this weeks episode below:http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/Sex-Finance-and-Rapid-ClimaxEnjoy !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 12, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 12, 2011 I,m so behind on watching the episodes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 19, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 19, 2011 This week's episode was titled "Sex, Stress and Erectile Dysfunction". I think out of all the episodes I've watched this one really hit home for me (us rather.....) This is OUR problem !! (The Erectile Dysfunction)Brett and Trisha were married and had 3 children. However, Brett was the sole provider and his wife seemed to have a spending problem. She had no idea what their finances were and she would hide some of the things she bought from her husband !! Her husband was a really quiet guy. Trisha seemed to be the more outgoing one in their relationship. It was obvious that her selfish attitude about her "spending sprees" was taking a toll on their relationship.Trisha had gained some weight after her children were born and she worried that her husband's inability to maintain an erection long enough to have sex was due to this fact. Her husband came right out and said that he found her very, very attractive in spite of that fact. She had body image issues and it was hard for her to believe him when he told her this.Brett and Trisha did not have any oral sex together. Trisha had a negative experience in one of her previous relationships and never partook in this again with Brett. However, she was able to have multiple orgasms and even experieced female ejaculation !!(something I've never ever been able to do ! Yet..............)As I mentioned, Brett was a very quiet guy. He did state that it was very difficult for him to express his emotions and bring things up as he never wanted Trisha to be angry with him. He stated that he wanted to talk about certain things with Trisha but something always held him back.Trisha brought up the fact that the previous year she had been in contact with one of her ex's. They never had an affair but the temptation had always been there. Dr Laura Berman had her come out and tell her husband about this. I was very surprised that her husband was not upset about this. He handled it really well. He said that it made him feel closer to her because she shared it with him.Their homework was to let her husband observe her naked and to look in a full length mirror at herself, picturing what it is that her husband sees when he looks at her, versus what SHE sees. They also had to experiment with oral sex on each other as this was never part of their sex routine. Her husband stated that he was very aroused by this and it was enjoyable. The field trip Dr Laura had planned for them was to have to carry a barbell together and pick up various "weights" around a huge stadium. (each labeled with their varius "stessers" such as...finance......body image...etc...) With each weight that was added the bar grew heavier and heavier. They realized that with all this added "stress" --no wonder they weren't feeling connected and having great sex !! She and her husband also visited a Urologist who explained the Erectile Dysfunction and the medical/psychological problems. High cholesterol was a factor as well as the fact that he was a smoker. (but he did say that vessles looked good and some of it was psychological) They felt better after having seen a medical doctor.As the show ended, they both stated that they were feeling much better and were looking forward to continuing to use the tools which Dr. Laura had given them to work on their problems.Here is the link to a portion of the show:http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/Sex-Stress-and-Erectile-Function Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 20, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 Did you notice that Brett's facial hair changed 3 times throughout the episode? He starts out with a 70's 'stasche which changes into a more traditional one midway through the episode. And in the followup at the end, it looks like he's growing a beard. I wonder if he changed it the first time as a way to mark a change in his life? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 20, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 20, 2011 That's funny ---you noticed that too !!! I liked the goatee, but didn't like that little tiny bit of hair under his chin in the second look (what is that called ??? Not attractive....) Yes, I thought he looked a little "serial killerish" at the end ! Hate that scruffy look ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Awww, don't hate on the Van Dyke beard, especially since I'm rockin' one! It looks good when kept clean and sadly Brett's is not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 21, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Awww, don't hate on the Van Dyke beard, especially since I'm rockin' one! It looks good when kept clean and sadly Brett's is not. The "Van Dyke" beard ???? (I misspoke also, it's under the bottom lip--right ??) Ok, ok !!! I'll give you the benefit of the doubt ! I'm sure it looks very hot on YOU !! (But it sure didn't on Brett !) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Did you notice that Brett's facial hair changed 3 times throughout the episode? He starts out with a 70's 'stasche which changes into a more traditional one midway through the episode. And in the followup at the end, it looks like he's growing a beard. I wonder if he changed it the first time as a way to mark a change in his life?That's funny ---you noticed that too !!! I liked the goatee, but didn't like that little tiny bit of hair under his chin in the second look (what is that called ??? Not attractive....) Yes, I thought he looked a little "serial killerish" at the end ! Hate that scruffy look !I noticed it too, and he was not rockin' it. It made him look "questionable". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 21, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 21, 2011 Hahaha! If you're referring to the little bit of hair between the bottom lip and chin - that's a "soul patch". He wasn't pulling it off. The Van Dyke beard was popularized by a Flemish painter in the mid 1600's. Take a soul patch, add a goatee, and a mustache that connects to the goatee. Shave everywhere else. That's a Van Dyke. Checking the Wahl site, looks like I've got a "circle beard" and not a "Van Dyke" though I've seen the two named interchangeably.Van Dyke - http://www.wahlnation.com/FacialHair/encyclopedia/VanDykeBeard/Circle Beard - http://www.wahlnation.com/FacialHair/encyclopedia/CircleBeard/Soul Patch - http://www.wahlnation.com/FacialHair/encyclopedia/SoulPatch/What Brett started with was a "Fu Manchu". Combine the horseshoe with a soul patch. Very '70's. Not rockin'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 22, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 Thank you for the visuals !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 22, 2011 I'm hoping to catch the DVR'ed episode today after work. Anyone catch the title yet? I haven't checked the channel guide yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted March 23, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 23, 2011 Sex, Loss and Resentment - sex life has become robotic in the years since Jeff's mother died.Underlying hostilities cause this couple to disconnect from each other. The are unable to forgive and forget, in order to repair their marriage, until Dr. Berman helps them find a way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted March 24, 2011 Members Report Share Posted March 24, 2011 What a vicious silent war these two were engaged in. Every time I see a new episode I think "Gees, I hope I'm not like that." Not in judgment but because I don't like domestic hostility, silent or otherwise. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted March 28, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted March 28, 2011 Last weeks episode was titled "Sex, Loss and Resentment". Kim and Jeff had been struggling for quite awhile with lots of built up tension after the passing of Jeff's mother. Jeff's mother had been very ill with cancer and Kim had resented the time Jeff spent with his mother while she was alive--- taking care of her while she was sick and leaving her---his wife---home for HOURS day after day, all by herself. She would ask Jeff if she could help him and Jeff would always tell her no, that he could do it all by himself. He spent hours at his mothers house and his wife felt very much alone. Kim did something so hurtful---so unthinkable---that Jeff had never forgiven her. Just before his mother died, Kim went away with a friend. She KNEW his mother didn't have much longer to live--but she took out her anger at his having spent all his time with his mother. She punished him during the time he needed her most. Kim was not there with Jeff when his mother passed away. She left him alone and all by himself just as he had left her. Jeff took out his anger on her afterwards by ignoring her and she did the same to him. They went long periods of time without speaking at all.Jeff would punish Kim by withholding what she wanted the most from him--intimacy, closeness, hugging and kissing. Kim would in turn punish Jeff by withholding what he most wanted--oral sex. It was a vicious cycle and they never resolved any of their problems. They were very close to divorce by the time Dr. Laura Berman came into the picture. She helped them talk to each other and tell each other how they both felt during that period of time that Jeff's mother was ill. Jeff apologized for not allowing Kim to be part of it and help him during that time. She apologized for having left him alone during the time of his mother's death. Their homework was to spend time being intimate---taking turns kissing each other the way they each enjoyed being kissed. They spent an evening trying to re-create that feeling of just "having met" to get back those sparks they were missing.This episode made me realize that sometimes we try to do everything ourselves and don't want to involve our spouse. Whether it be for fear of showing weakness if we have to ask for help or just not wanting to involve them. I know that Kim was truly sorry for having hurt her husband this way. I'm sure it will take a long while and a lot of work to get to the place they were before. At least they were headed down the right path at the end of the show.This is the link to a clip of the show:http://www.oprah.com/own-bedroom-dr-laura-berman/in-the-bedroom-blog.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 16, 2011 Members Report Share Posted September 16, 2011 Have you seen the new format? I like it better. What about you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Kace Posted September 19, 2011 Members Report Share Posted September 19, 2011 Is the show back on? I noticed my DVR just stopped recording - seemed like the season was over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted September 20, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 Is the show back on? I noticed my DVR just stopped recording - seemed like the season was over. I have not been watching too much TV---I did search for it online and it does not look like it has started back up. I found something that said the new season would start Jan 3. I will keep an eye out for it on TV. LadyLove what is the "new format" you are speaking about ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 20, 2011 Members Report Share Posted September 20, 2011 I've been catching up on all my DVR shows Laura Berman being one of them. Her new format is based on a call in radio show. She picks a topic and answers callers questions as well as e-mailed questions. At the end of the show she will have one couple tell her one issue/problem they have and she will advise. Much different from last season where she followed one couple through a complete process. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted September 22, 2011 Author Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 I haven't seen it yet. It sounds good though--Very different from the "Couple's " episodes--which were also good. I will have to look for them on OWN. I'm sure they must show re-runs of them. I will keep an eye out for the new episodes to air also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted September 22, 2011 Members Report Share Posted September 22, 2011 I haven't seen it yet. It sounds good though--Very different from the "Couple's " episodes--which were also good. I will have to look for them on OWN. I'm sure they must show re-runs of them. I will keep an eye out for the new episodes to air also.Let me know what you think when you see it. It's not as deep, but very, very good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 2, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2012 I haven't seen it yet. It sounds good though--Very different from the "Couple's " episodes--which were also good. I will have to look for them on OWN. I'm sure they must show re-runs of them. I will keep an eye out for the new episodes to air also. I'm not finding anything new scheduled episodes. Have you seen new ones by you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted February 2, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2012 I just want to know if the pictures ever were taken, and if so please share and not just in the closet... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 2, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2012 I just want to know if the pictures ever were taken, and if so please share and not just in the closet...I'm sorry I don't understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted February 2, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 2, 2012 I'm sorry I don't understand.I read the entire thread here, somewhere about a year ago, you talked of possible pictures/photos...This is what I have eluded to...Or is my comprehension wrong, again... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted February 3, 2012 Members Report Share Posted February 3, 2012 I read the entire thread here, somewhere about a year ago, you talked of possible pictures/photos...This is what I have eluded to...Or is my comprehension wrong, again... You have it right. I had to read through the tread again to figure out what you were referring to. No we did not take pictures, if he he did they'd be in the safe, BUT I don't have any to share. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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