Newbie pattyputty Posted June 22, 2012 Newbie Report Share Posted June 22, 2012 I need SEX. My husband would not come near me for three years. About a year ago started an affair, very torrid with a married younger man. Problem, he was very jealous and got too serious. So about to order sex toys for my husband and myself who recently I told about affair--sick of lies. My husband who is nine years younger early fifties used to be good lover---now lousy and I am going nuts. I don'twant to start up again with that guy, but SEX is always on my mind. I am always wet. HELP me, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members WendyNY Posted June 23, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Welcome to the site Patty ! I'm sorry that you and your husband are having marital problems. I understand -I can relate to what you are going through. I've been in your shoes also as I've mentioned on numerous threads on here. People have affairs for different reasons. For some it's to make up for lack of an emotional connection, for others as yourself it's for sexual reasons. For the most part-- people don't go out in search of an affair. It usually just happens. One minute you're talking and then before you know it you're getting closer and closer to that person. You gradually become more and more connected to them. Then, in the blink of an eye you're involved sexually and in way over your head. An affair is like Quicksand. It's very difficult to explain the feelings and emotions that take place to those who have never had an affair.While the lack of sex at home had nothing to do with the affairs I had, I can understand your frustration at your husband's Erectile Dysfunction.My husband has a bit of this also. It has gotten worse as he's gotten older. I'm not sure if some of it is due to age, or just purely stress related.You need to talk to your husband about it. I know it's a difficult subject to bring up. But, you deserve to have your sexual and emotional needs met. Since you have already spoken out about the affair to your husband he does realize that something is missing in your relationship. Marriage is one of those things that you will have to consistently work on. It doesn't get better all by itself.There are other ways he can satisfy you sexually . The toys are a great way to start also. We have a strap- on that we use occasionally. (for when I'm fertile, or he's just not in the mood or can't get hard. ) Have fun with the toys !!You've come to the right place for help. There are lots of people who've gone through what you have.Good luck and please feel free to ask more questions !! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Cacky Posted June 23, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 23, 2012 Patty. I kinda understand your pain. My hubby won't touch me. He loves me, cares about me will do anything for me. Except touch me. He has had several affairs. I have had one, in our 30 years together. It's not the answer as I think you have found out. You are dealing with medical issues that I am not so don't know about that. But, the stress of an affair is not good for anyone. Do you want to work it out with your hubby? Will he listen to you about your concerns? As Wendy said there are lots of alternatives to the real thing, if he still wantsto touch and play with you. That's the first question to get answered. Just because his cock is not "working" his hands and mouth are, right? This is harder than it seems. But if you want to change things gotta start talking. Yikes should take my own advice. Let us know how things are going. So many good people here that have great advice. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Sunday Posted June 25, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 25, 2012 I didn't read anything in your post that would indicate ED is a problem. If he wouldn't touch you because he didn't want too, all the Viagra in the world isn't going to help. Why is he a lousy lover - because he doesn't really care to be a good one? From your OP it sounds like that could be the case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted June 27, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Do you know why he initially stopped touching you? I think that's where you should start. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted June 27, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 27, 2012 Patty. I kinda understand your pain. My hubby won't touch me. He loves me, cares about me will do anything for me. Except touch me. He has had several affairs. I have had one, in our 30 years together. It's not the answer as I think you have found out. You are dealing with medical issues that I am not so don't know about that. But, the stress of an affair is not good for anyone. Do you want to work it out with your hubby? Will he listen to you about your concerns? As Wendy said there are lots of alternatives to the real thing, if he still wantsto touch and play with you. That's the first question to get answered. Just because his cock is not "working" his hands and mouth are, right? This is harder than it seems. But if you want to change things gotta start talking. Yikes should take my own advice. Let us know how things are going. So many good people here that have great advice. Sorry to hear of this...Seems like such a loveless relationship...I ended my marriage after 20+ years... The sex was good, but there was nothing else outside the bedroom...Good luck with yours... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted June 30, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 Do you know why he initially stopped touching you? I think that's where you should start.I do wonder about the above. However, I also wonder if you are always the aggressor? Although men do like for women to be the aggressor sometimes, I also believe they need to be and feel like the hunter (hunter/gatherer thing) most of the time. It talks to their manhood. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted June 30, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 I do wonder about the above. However, I also wonder if you are always the aggressor? Although men do like for women to be the aggressor sometimes, I also believe they need to be and feel like the hunter (hunter/gatherer thing) most of the time. It talks to their manhood.Really...Well, since youve brought it up Ms LL, My "Manhood" hasnt heard much from you of late.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted June 30, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 Really...Well, since youve brought it up Ms LL, My "Manhood" hasnt heard much from you of late.... I must talk very softly..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted June 30, 2012 Members Report Share Posted June 30, 2012 Hmmmm, Talking softly from Soft Lips... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hmmmm, Talking softly from Soft warm Lips... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ReadyToMoveOn Posted July 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hmmmm, Talking softly from Soft warm Lips... Wanting lips...??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newbie pattyputty Posted July 1, 2012 Author Newbie Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 Hi everyone its me Patty, my husband is just mad all he time. He really got me off last night with his mouth and hands. I took a bath and then he just wouldn't talk or touch me. Sooo, I guess we are going to divorce. The married guy is just, a selfish tease. He is always calling me says he wants to see me but then can't, like he enjoys torturing me. I agree I have to cut him off. My husband, well I do love him and the toys help but he doesn't want to talk about it and sleeps in a different room. I am sick of begging him to be with me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members ladylove Posted July 1, 2012 Members Report Share Posted July 1, 2012 I'm very sorry you have had to endure such heartache. I wish you well. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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