Members Gviejo Posted October 29, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2016 My lover now wants to video me pleasing him orally to watch when he's alone. It makes him horny for the next time we meet. I also get a thrill at watching myself get down on that lovely brown cock. And when he cums, I make sure to let a little drool on my lips to make the action hotter. This has become a new mainstay for us. He says he would never post anything online, but who really knows. I don't mind if he shows other friends, but online, no way. Your thoughts? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted October 29, 2016 Members Report Share Posted October 29, 2016 How well do you know this fellow? If you've been around him for 10 years and trust his word, then what's to worry? If you haven't been with him that long, I'd be very skeptical; the world has no shortage of sleazebags. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted October 30, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted October 30, 2016 I've know him 16 years. He was married, has grown kids and now is with a new woman with a kid. But we have continued our love fest at least once a week. So I really probably have no doubts in his sincerity. Thanks for the reply. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted November 12, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 12, 2016 Sorry I just saw this. As far as I know, no one knows about it. He live in the next city over from me. I was 40 when we met, now I'm 56. He's still pretty good looking while I'm getting to not be, lol There's no affection between us, which bothers me. At least a hug or kiss would be nice. I tried to make him touch me more and kiss but he say he's not into that. Sometimes I feel like his little toy. He comes in, strips, gives me oral and then expects me to top him every time we meet. I've tried all kinds of toys, scenarios and suggested that he tell me a fantasy and I'll make it happen. But no, just wham bam thank you and see ya. It's starting to make me feel like an unpaid whore, lol 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted November 15, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 15, 2016 Well, haven't heard from "him in a week". I'm assuming that he's busy seeing that he just bought a new house. I can't call or text. So it's just wait and see. I don't know why I'm so attracted to this dude. I know how he is. But that's always the case with me. Always someone that I can sleep with but not be with.....Maybe I'm expecting too much from these men. I'm just providing a service for them to explore their secret side. Something else, since I have began to take testosterone replacement therapy because of my age, I've been horny all the time, lol My morning wood has returned. That was a clue that the levels were low when I wasn't getting them anymore. So I take one shot a week and it seems like I feel like a dog in heat, ,lol And what's weird is that more of the ex lovers, married still, of course have been contacting me. I don't even believe this. It sounds made up but I promise it's not. Sometimes I reflect on all the guys that have attempted to mess with me and I wonder why. I'm not a good looking person. Not in shape. I assume that they don't want to find another "cock" so they come back to me when they can no longer stand it. I have low self esteem so I accept the way I'm treated thinking that this is better than being alone all the time. I probably could use some therapy. But who would believe all this? Maybe I should write a memoir to try and help others going through this. Mix in the former alcohol abuse, a few drugs and all the rest and it would be a good read. I've been drug and alcohol free since Oct. 2001. But the rest is still haunting me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members square Posted November 20, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 20, 2016 Regarding your original question, this just doesn't sound like the type of situation where I'd trust the other person with a video-making machine, despite that you've known him a long while. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted November 21, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 21, 2016 Today is two weeks and no text or calls. Of course I can't contact him. I feel bad because we had a good time in the last encounter and there was no indication of anything wrong. I don't know if he got caught, is sick, locked up or just had a change of heart regarding our relationship. This is the hardest part and I should know that it could happen at any time. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members RC4BLUE Posted November 23, 2016 Members Report Share Posted November 23, 2016 It sucks when significant people in your life disappear. I've had that happen more than once. Each time there was no explanation, just silence. The only thing left to do is just move forward. I still hold a special place in my being for them, but do not dwell on them any more. I know it is tough and can hurt. Just keep positive and moving with the expectation that your life will be great. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted November 23, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 23, 2016 I keep saying that to myself. It just makes me so mad that after 16 years I can't even get a fuck off text. I hate when he doesn't answer me. I broke my rule and called his job just to see if he was still there and not dead, lol He was, and I hung up. Knowing him, someday he'll text me like nothing has happened and expect me to say come on over. And I probably will since I have no self-esteem. I just assumed that we were friends. But it seems I'm just a dick for him to use when he feels the need to get f'ed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted November 24, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted November 24, 2016 Update....Just got a text from you know who....." Happy Thanksgiving!, sorry I went awol on you. i'll explain later." Now I'm feeling even worse. WTF does that mean? If he comes over I don't know if I can do anything until he apologizes.....Damn, I sound like a side chick thats been hurt. #feelingmixedemotions Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted December 1, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted December 1, 2016 Well, now I feel like an idiot. After the Happy Thanksgiving text, he came over that night and explained that his girlfriends mother passed away. I knew she was in the hospital the week before. He said he didn't feel like talking for days and now she's acting up with him over the loss. I have to take him at his word. I just wish he would talk more and open up to me about his feelings. We both have had major problems in our lives and we both internalize them. Plus we both think everything has to be our way which clashes when we make love because he's so picky about what I do or where I touch him. Forgive my graphic description: I was lying on the chaise lounge with him between my legs looking at me while giving me oral. We were talking and discussing things at the same time. I thought to myself. "This is so weird that we can have a conversation during sex without a thought." lol We walk around naked and I make him feel at home while he's here. It just perplexes me as to the normalcy of it. I told him I wanted him to come over some night, lay in bed with me and cuddle. He actually said that would be cool. He's been married, has kids and grandkids. All of which I've never experienced. So being with him in bed just about makes my day. But it's hard knowing that I'm just a toy for him and nothing will ever be of it. But to be doing this for 16 years says somethings doesn't it? I told him he must like my dick or he wouldn't keep coming back. Seeing that I'm way older, not at all handsome. Just wanted to share a bit more. Here's a pic of his cock, which I love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 21, 2016 Report Share Posted December 21, 2016 I would say that he's most definitely using you as his Down-Low Toy for sure. If someone wants to contact you, they would, no excuses. They would contact you, AND, WTF is this "you can't contact him" crap? Yeah, he only cares about himself. Even if he became single tomorrow, he'd still have you as an "on the side, and in the down-low". He doesn't value you as a person. Yes, you certainly do seem to have a low self-esteem, and I'm sorry that you feel so low about yourself. Obviously, you're not as unattractive as you think, since you have men that want you. Why do you think you don't deserve more than being someone's toy? You get what you put out, even when you don't mean to. In other words if you feel like you're not worthy of a relationship or being with someone that is deserving of you in a relationship, you're going to send out vibes to people that are looking for nothing more than sex. Convenient sex. You're going to put Flags out for users and they are going to pick up on it. That's not fair to do to yourself. You need to change the way you feel about yourself. That's hard to do but it can be done. If you develop the attitude that you're a quality person, and deserve more, "nut-up" so to speak, those users won't stand a chance, and you're self-worth will go up. But you have to BELIEVE it. Only YOU can change how you put yourself out there. The first step is to cut it off with Mr. User. No more contact. Break it off. Be honest with him. Tell him you want AND deserve more and tell him no more contacting you. Don't accept his calls. Or anyone else that used you. My GF was a lot like you. Felt like she wasn't worthy of a quality partner. Had people use her so much. Mostly for what she could do for them. Selfish people and lovers. She found someone that changed her views totally. That person passed away from cancer, but she's thankful that this woman showed her that she's worthy of love..... Real love. It opened herself up to me. She thought I was "too pretty " for her, not contacted me anyway, and I'm so glad she did!!! I've purged many people that I knew were using me overtime. It's sometimes not easy, and sometimes those people are even family members. However, if you value yourself and your self-worth you will understand that you deserve better than this sort of treatment. Best wishes to you. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted December 21, 2016 Author Members Report Share Posted December 21, 2016 WOW, thank you for the heartfelt response. You nailed it on several issues. And as you said. It is hard to change. I appreciate you taking the time to give me advice. Actually I have not let him come back over in two weeks, since I've been thinking of how he treats me. I have many others that like me so I will pursue them at this point. He did text me and I said I was not feeling well. You know when you like someone and they don't reciprocate, it takes time to realize it. Thank You again, Wes 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyger Posted December 22, 2016 Report Share Posted December 22, 2016 You're most welcome. Good for you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted January 11, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 On 10/29/2016 at 0:12 PM, square said: How well do you know this fellow? If you've been around him for 10 years and trust his word, then what's to worry? If you haven't been with him that long, I'd be very skeptical; the world has no shortage of sleazebags. Been seeing him 16 years and I'm watching closely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted January 11, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 On 11/23/2016 at 9:37 AM, GirlCrush said: Kinda had someone in my life like that. Its a crappy feeling. Especially if you care for the person. Sorry for you Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Members Gviejo Posted January 11, 2017 Author Members Report Share Posted January 11, 2017 On 11/23/2016 at 9:37 AM, GirlCrush said: Kinda had someone in my life like that. Its a crappy feeling. Especially if you care for the person. Sorry for you Thank you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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