Need Advice

[charise820]

OK I'm not sure how to start this this is my second post every. First of all this site has been a great help to me, I have had a problem with my sex drive since I got pregnate with my 2nd child. After I got pregnate I didn't wan anything to too with sex, even after the birth and up until my hubby went over seas. Now I know that some of it was hormones but I know that not all of it was...because I would get it the mood but still didn't want hubby to touch me or even look at me like he wanted me.

And I now relize that something that I forgot about kind of (i know once I tell you are going to be like how can yu forget about it but I did). When I was with my 1st sons dad (not my hubby) sex was something that you did wiether you wanted to or not, did matter if you said no....and if for some reason he didn't get sex the I HAD to please him orally. I know this man was a jerk took me some time but I got out of it I always the of the mental and physcal abuse and those where my reason to get out. I'm glad that I did. but my issue is that Up until and week or so ago I didn't relize just HOW much this afftected my sex life I didn't have one for years after him, not until my hubby. And my hubby is all about pleasing me, coumpetely different. But I never told my hubby how my sex life was with my ex well mainly because I am my hubby first and only...talking about what my sex life was like before kind of weirds him out...he is getting much better...but I'm not sure how or if I should tell him about this I mean it does explan at lot of how I was for over a year and a half, and why it bugs me sometime to be look at sexually.

The other problem I have is that my hubby is over seas for quite a bit longer and if I do tell him I want to tell him face to face I think not online or an email. But my hubby would want to kick my ex's a** too. he already hates the stuff that I have told him about what happened and I was treated and it's all he can do know not to hit him...mainly it for my oldest sake who is our son even though he not his birth dad he is his son....I am lucky to have found my husband who waited and waited and took his time waiting for to learn to trust and love again who helped me through it all and all he ever wanted in return was me...and I love him He waited about 2 years before I was ready to tell him I loved him...though I loved him long before that....and he is still understanding about everything but I don't know how he will take this because it boils down to that I said no so many times and I was still forced to have or give sex orally...and I now know that this is the core of a lot of my issues.....I have a hard time going down onmy hubby...i have a hard time getting in the mood since getting pregnate and having the baby but not before which is weird....and I can't do anal which my hubby would like to try because that again was something that I forced to do with no lubercation..so it hurt and though freaks me out....so how should I tell my hubby and how can i let this go..I know that this is helping and now that I understand it is part of my problem I would love to have it fixed by the time hubby came home and it was like when we first got married again. Thanks for any help that you can offer..I hope that I'm not a lost cause..

Charise

[charise820]

Howard thanks that is what I was thinking but I didn't what him woundering why I waited to tell him. But it was one of those strange things i geuss.

Thanks again this site has been a help and has my mind on the right path to healing and to the jot of sex...I am glad that I found this site.

Charise