Jump to content
Official Community Forums Home

At my wit's end....


Recommended Posts

  • Members

I'm sure this will come off sounding petty and selfish, but I'm getting fed up. 

I'm starting to loose my mind. I love my wife with all my heart, but I just don't know what to do with her anymore. I was her first and I have been her only, so our entire sexual relationship I have done everything I can to make sure her every desire is met. But for the last 13yrs that has not been reciprocated.

Sometimes she will tell me that she is sorry and that I deserve more, my response is always the same, "you are all I want and all I need, but if you feel like I deserve more then give me more". Yet nothing ever changes.

Sex is almost always the same. I warm her up with a little for play, which she is constantly trying to cut short (it doesn't matter what we are doing, toys, oral, fingers etc). Then I get on top, fuck her like my life depends on it, until she has at least a couple of O's then I'm aloud to cum. Any variation from that is like pulling teeth. She is very rarely on top, she doesn't give me any for play and heaven forbid she ever give me an orgasm if she isn't getting something in return. 

I just don't know what to do anymore, I even went as far as to give her a free pass to do whatever she wanted to whomever she wanted while I was out of town on business and expected nothing in return. Thinking that maybe she is just tired of me or might want to experience something new. But she got pissed at me for even mentioning it.

I've tried talking to her, telling her how I feel about this. But it seems to do nothing, idk if she just doesn't know how to change things up (which I find hard to believe considering she is constantly reading sleazy romance novels). Or if she just doesn't care anymore. But I'm getting tired of constantly being the one to make an effort in the bedroom. I just don't know what to do anymore......😔

  • Like 1
  • Sad 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Marriage is good otherwise. We have had our little spats as most couples do. But for the most part things are great.

There is such a thing as sex therapy, but I doubt she would ever go. If she won't open up to me about her desires, then I don't think she would open up to a stranger.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members

Sometimes it’s easier to open up to strangers especially another female. I would love for my wife and I to go to sex therapy

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I recently read about a sex therapy retreat where you go away for a weekend to just learn about each other and yourself - sexually. It sounded so stimulating and like such an intimate experience to share with your partner but im in the same position as you only reverse. My husband doesn't quite like to do anything and I eventually stop asking. I think the retreat sounds amazing. Perhaps there is an online outlet for you both to use. Online counseling or something. If you have a great marriage then there must be a way to rectify the bedroom situation. Plus, if she is in the marriage and can see this truly effecting you then maybe she will go with you to see someone and that can at least open the door. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
On 8/6/2019 at 11:32 AM, RideDaTrain123 said:

I'm sure this will come off sounding petty and selfish, but I'm getting fed up. 

I'm starting to loose my mind. I love my wife with all my heart, but I just don't know what to do with her anymore. I was her first and I have been her only, so our entire sexual relationship I have done everything I can to make sure her every desire is met. But for the last 13yrs that has not been reciprocated.

Sometimes she will tell me that she is sorry and that I deserve more, my response is always the same, "you are all I want and all I need, but if you feel like I deserve more then give me more". Yet nothing ever changes.

Sex is almost always the same. I warm her up with a little for play, which she is constantly trying to cut short (it doesn't matter what we are doing, toys, oral, fingers etc). Then I get on top, fuck her like my life depends on it, until she has at least a couple of O's then I'm aloud to cum. Any variation from that is like pulling teeth. She is very rarely on top, she doesn't give me any for play and heaven forbid she ever give me an orgasm if she isn't getting something in return. 

I just don't know what to do anymore, I even went as far as to give her a free pass to do whatever she wanted to whomever she wanted while I was out of town on business and expected nothing in return. Thinking that maybe she is just tired of me or might want to experience something new. But she got pissed at me for even mentioning it.

I've tried talking to her, telling her how I feel about this. But it seems to do nothing, idk if she just doesn't know how to change things up (which I find hard to believe considering she is constantly reading sleazy romance novels). Or if she just doesn't care anymore. But I'm getting tired of constantly being the one to make an effort in the bedroom. I just don't know what to do anymore......😔

This hopefully issue pass. You can get relief on this site. I do enjoy sharing life personal things here because it released stress

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...
  • Members

Wow sounds all to familiar my wife is the same. She loves getting but giving is not her strong suite. My only saving grace is the toys I have to fulfil my desires. Its not quite the same but it's better than nothing. I love my wife and I know she loves me but sexually speaking its quite boring.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Members
On 8/6/2019 at 6:01 PM, Haywood25 said:

Sometimes it’s easier to open up to strangers especially another female.

Very true.  Talking through issues with a therapist or in a group therapy setting really works wonders.  You should suggest she try that.  Even talking with anyone who listens with an open mind can sometimes allow you to see things from a different perspective. Good luck!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Loading...
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Use & Privacy Policy