Anyone else into dominance and submission?

[Jesniak]

My wife and decided to try a D/s relationship about 10 years ago. We were getting used to each other and some of the spark was gone, but our D/s lifestyle brought it roaring back. Outside of sex I was always somewhat dominant and that hasn't changed, but when it comes to sex I take over. We talked about it before and wrote up an agreement  together - things I will never do, things she will always submit to, things that get negotiated at a later time. We are both very adventurous within our totally committed marriage - so no one else ever gets invited in. Writing the contract was very enlightening in terms of revealing our desires and fantasies.  We learned things about each other that we never would have guessed. Turned out, we both had fantasies of bondage and discipline, so B&D became a routine part of our sex life. We were very strict about our D/s roles in the beginning, but we've gotten a little sloppy - lazy I guess - over the years. We used to start every day with her on the floor on her elbows and knees after her bath. I caressed her all over, inspecting her to make sure she had done a good job with the razor, etc. If I felt any stubble she got a short spanking. Every morning I chose her bra (if I allowed her to wear one) and panties. I put her on her knees and made her take my cock in her mouth before we left the house for the day. After 10 years these things no longer happen every day. She still gets spankings, still gets tied to the bed, the porch rail, etc while I use her, but I haven't take the whip to her in months and months. Neither one of us is fond of that any more.

Oh well, this started out as a question and it turned into an essay. So - anyone else into it?

[Funkadelic]

Hi, it's super enlightning to read you as even if me 'n my wife have been only toghether for 4 years i have/had a lot of the same issues as you. And i have questions !!

(Sorry i'm not a native english speaker) 

First of all, it's cool to see that D/s seems to bring back the spark in your couple, as me and my wife have started to open up about our D/s fetiche when we were about to divorce. It happened a few months ago and i'm looking for a lot of infos right now.

 

Then, what highlights when i'm reading you, it's how the routine seems to be installed in your D/s relationship. The fact that you're doing the same things for all that time is sure gonna get boring. 

I mean, even if you enjoy the whip, is there any interest into doing it again, as you may have used it over and over ? 

I'm gonna ask you a few questions, just for curiosity, 'n sharing my kinks.

Are you sure that what used to turn you on is still what you're looking for ? 

Fun fact, my wife is not into spanking and hitting, but it is an instant turn on for me. So we found a solution, she's spanking me when she wants me to fuck her harder. With the prostate, i enjoyed it way more than i'll ever thought. 

Are you both sexually fullfilled ? Or could you be a lil' bored ?

 

I bought her toys long time ago because she had difficulties to get horny, as she had abusive partners.. For me, there is nothing more exciting to know that she'll enjoy herself and that i'm forcing her to do so. + the vibrator/magic wand is a fun tool to use with her, as it's WAY more efficient than a tongue, a dick or a hand. 

Do you care about the pleasure your wife is taking ? Do you reward her for good actions ? 

It's kinda new for me, but it seems that being submissive don't mean to not get personal pleasure, but to have no control over it. 

I usally start to notice my partner being less interested when i only care about my pleasure, and she's told me, two dayd ago a setence that got me thinking : "why don't you reward me" 

Just thinking about this setence get me super horny. I'm her master, and as my good pet, she's doing it to follow my orders, get congratuled and pussy rubs.  

That's why my priority is now to fulfill her with pleasure, and that how i'm thinking about getting her super submissive. I don't care about the way, maybe because i have no easy solution yet but i think that the dominant part come from how she's desiring you and she's horny for you. 

 

Maybe try to dress better, and take care of yourself (it always help) and you can still try some different positions, or toys.

You can look on the internet for porn to see if something gets you horny. 

Do you still share what's get you horny ? Do you talk about how you would like to see her in a certain dress or in a position ? Is she expressing some desires ? 

For exemple, i'm super kinky about platform heels & super high heels in general. I've expressed this fetiche super early in our couple and me wife, who felt insecure about her looks and the fact that she felt inconfortable about wearing them during sex. 

After talking openly about a D/s relationship, i realised one of her kink was wearing tight leather & latex dresses and suits. She loves to feel textile tension on her skin.

I was able to explain how heels are for me a way of objectifying her, and the dress are the same. How i will own her if she puts them on, 'n the suit is only here to magnify her beauty. 

The best part was the foreplay/shopping online, were we started to share our tastes in sexy clothing, and realised that we enjoyed the same things, and that things i liked was pleasing her & same for me. 

I think one of the most important stuff to do in a couple is to share what you think and what you like even if it get you uneasy, and you don't know how your partner will react. 

TLDR ;

Talk with her and share your feelings, even if it get a bit of animosity. Try to understand what she wants now, and try out new things even if they don't work in the end. 

You need to break the routine, for sex to get really intense ! 

 

'N start whipping again

 

 

 

[Curious236]

I love having a woman dominate me and pushing my limits as far as she feels 

[Jesniak]

On 2/7/2020 at 4:47 AM, Funkadelic said:

r) 

First of all, it's cool to see that D/s seems to bring back the spark in your couple, as me and my wife have started to open up about our D/s fetiche when we were about to divorce. It happened a few months ago and i'm looking for a lot of infos right now.

Then, what highlights when i'm reading you, it's how the routine seems to be installed in your D/s relationship. The fact that you're doing the same things for all that time is sure gonna get boring. 

The only things we did over and over were the morning routines. The routines aren't about sex, They established our Dom and Sub relationship for the day.

I mean, even if you enjoy the whip, is there any interest into doing it again, as you may have used it over and over ? 

Occasionally yes I use it on her, just not as much as before.

I'm gonna ask you a few questions, just for curiosity, 'n sharing my kinks.

Are you sure that what used to turn you on is still what you're looking for ? 

No, we are constantly exploring and our interests have evolved somewhat. Who wants to do the same thing forever?

Fun fact, my wife is not into spanking and hitting, but it is an instant turn on for me. So we found a solution, she's spanking me when she wants me to fuck her harder. With the prostate, i enjoyed it way more than i'll ever thought. 

Are you both sexually fullfilled ? Or could you be a lil' bored ?

I'll never get bored with her. As I said, we let things evolve so we don't get bored.

I bought her toys long time ago because she had difficulties to get horny, as she had abusive partners.. For me, there is nothing more exciting to know that she'll enjoy herself and that i'm forcing her to do so. + the vibrator/magic wand is a fun tool to use with her, as it's WAY more efficient than a tongue, a dick or a hand. 

Do you care about the pleasure your wife is taking ? Do you reward her for good actions ? 

We have tons of toys (and got almost all of them here). I think about her pleasure a lot. If we were keeping score, I would say she comes more times in a month than I do. It's fairly often that I show my dominance by making her come for me using my tongue and a combination of our vibrators in her pussy and ass. Sometimes I'll tell her she's not coming fast enough and roll her over and give her a spanking. That sets her up for a really explosive orgasm. After she comes hard I'll express my  dominance by refusing to fuck her. She'll beg, and I'll tell her "tomorrow, if you're a good girl." She sucks my cock extra hard at the next morning check-in! Frankly, there is practical reason for this. For me if I have an orgasm more than about 3 times a week they diminish in intensity. So putting it off a day rewards me.

It's kinda new for me, but it seems that being submissive don't mean to not get personal pleasure, but to have no control over it. 

Exactly!

Just thinking about this setence get me super horny. I'm her master, and as my good pet, she's doing it to follow my orders, get congratuled and pussy rubs.  

That's why my priority is now to fulfill her with pleasure, and that how i'm thinking about getting her super submissive. I don't care about the way, maybe because i have no easy solution yet but i think that the dominant part come from how she's desiring you and she's horny for you.

 

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Maybe try to dress better, and take care of yourself (it always help) and you can still try some different positions, or toys.

We dress up sometimes. She likes seeing me in a suit and black tee shirt, or jeans and black tee shirt. She has a closet full of sexy dresses and lingerie that she wears. I pick what she will put on for me. She keeps some cheap things that I tear off of her getting to her naked body.

 

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You can look on the internet for porn to see if something gets you horny. 

Porn doesn't do anything for either one of us.

 

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Do you still share what's get you horny ? Do you talk about how you would like to see her in a certain dress or in a position ? Is she expressing some desires ? 

We do talk, but  she isn't good about expressing her desires. It is kind of frustrating that I have to have all the creativity in coming up with new things to keep it fresh. Sometimes the next day she'll tell me she really liked something from our previous session. 

For exemple, i'm super kinky about platform heels & super high heels in general. I've expressed this fetiche super early in our couple and me wife, who felt insecure about her looks and the fact that she felt inconfortable about wearing them during sex. 

After talking openly about a D/s relationship, i realised one of her kink was wearing tight leather & latex dresses and suits. She loves to feel textile tension on her skin.

I was able to explain how heels are for me a way of objectifying her, and the dress are the same. How i will own her if she puts them on, 'n the suit is only here to magnify her beauty. 

The best part was the foreplay/shopping online, were we started to share our tastes in sexy clothing, and realised that we enjoyed the same things, and that things i liked was pleasing her & same for me. 

I think one of the most important stuff to do in a couple is to share what you think and what you like even if it get you uneasy, and you don't know how your partner will react. 

TLDR ;

Talk with her and share your feelings, even if it get a bit of animosity. Try to understand what she wants now, and try out new things even if they don't work in the end. You need to break the routine, for sex to get really intense ! 

YES!

 

 

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[Angiemae]

Absolutely and I love to chat  Being a sub is so hot