Help A Girl Out

[yungandfrEkE]

I have never had an orgasm before. Iv been with my boyfriend for a little over a year and he completly understands my logic that I am not normal and he will never get me to an orgasm. About 6 months or maybe more ago, i started to get a great feeling when he rubs his dick in one spot inside of me. I get this all muscles tight, GREAT feeling for a few seconds and then it goes away. We now call this my feeling. I can get them quite a few times if he can last. Now he knows it turns me on so he has a hard time not stopping me.

Anyways my question is, is this an orgasm. I have been really searching the internet lately to figure out ways to get myself to orgasm and blah blah blah but sex and I have never really gotten along. I can never get wet and it is so annoying and kinda emabarrasing. My bf is great about all of it. Anyone have any help for me?

[Tyger]

Well, honey, first off, you are probably "normal". Lots of women, including me, have had difficulty reaching the Big O. And most for different reasons. Every woman is PHYSICALLY able to have an orgasm, but MENTALLY may need some work! There are women of all ages on this site, and believe me, there are some that are old enough to at least be your mother, that have had these problems!

First things first, you need to explore your own body, get to really really KNOW it. I know, you see it, you're in it, you KNOW it. WRONG!! Women, in a lot of aspects (I know there are gonna be jibes here LOL) are more complex, emotionally and physically than men. Body image, self-esteem, tomorrow's To-Do list, Hey, is that the phone?, I need to have an orgasm...I need to have an orgasm.... can easily nudge it's way into our Sex Time. Men, for the most part, can get ready, set, BLAST OFF!! How unfair is THAT??? Seriously, if you don't learn how to pleasure yourself, how can others?

You need to take some time, a nice bubble bath perhaps, and explore your body, alone. Touch yourself, what feels good? What doesn't? How much or how little pressure does it take? Your "Feeling" so to speak, may be your start of your O, but, when you sense/feel it, you think a bit too much, and POOF, like a cloud, it's gone. It will take some time, you're so young, don't get discouraged. Like everything, you need to educate yourself. Some people get off easier than others. But, believe me, you'll KNOW when you get there.

Howard has offered some great breathing techniques in some previous posts about orgasms, and there are sections in the Sex Education Tab, that will help with all of that.

They key is to RELAX, and HAVE FUN!! Don't over-think. Don't go in to the bedroom knowing you won't orgasm, or even with the goal to have one. Go in there, to pleasure and be pleasured. To hell with the To-Do list, unplug the damn phone, who cares what jiggles, and no you don't look fat in that!