I Need Real Help

[deeroy312]

OK...I am kinda nervous. but here goes. I have been with the same man for 8 years. I love him just as much as the first day I met....but... here it is. I have had 3 kids and I think I am broken. I can't seem to have an orgasm while having intercourse. Is there something wrong with me? Please if anyone can give me some advise I would really apreciate it. I tried to get him to try some new an fun things to do, but he is the type of guy that is very old fashioned. I call him missionary man cause he only does it 3 ways, him on top, me on top or his personal favorite doggie style. I try to tell him more foreplay would be nice. And I try to say it jokingly so I don't offend him but he seems not to get the picture. I do have toys that I use in my private time. I asked him once if he wanted to play with me and he got a little freaked out. Please anyone who can tell me how to train myself to orgasm during sex.

Thanks

Dee

[Tyger]

Ah, the familar tunes of boredom in the bedroom. Trust me, you are NOT alone! If you scan the site, you will see that there are many many posters in the same situation you are in!

My hubby was kind of sexually repressed~to a degree. He was a bit adventurous, but I had to really work at him to want to try more. He's JUST now, after almost 6 years of being together, willing to use sex toys WITH me. He's old fashined thinking too. I keep drilling it into him that toys are ENHANCING in the bedroom, not REPLACING.

You said that you've hinted around to him what you wanted. Or joked. Well, hon, most men will tell you that they're not mind readers, and you need to TELL them what you want. Men, for the most part, unless blatantly obvious, do not get the concept of a hint. Men are wired to see, learn, and accept facts, things that are presented directly infront of them. Keep trying, but make direct suggestions as to what you want. Or, just do something a little different. Not much, just a little. He'll probably notice, since he's pretty consistent. For instance, if he likes you on top, turn around, and face the other way, while still being on top. Face your butt to his face, and ride him like that. It's called Reverse Cowgirl. It's a small step, but also a big one too. Don't ASK him if he wants you to use one of your toys one night, but maybe while your giving some oral attention, break out your vibe (hide it under your pillow), and started pleasuring yourself too. Show him how you like it.

Some of us have also found that men that usually are fearful of toys, may be intimidated by them. Choose something that isn't phallic looking-doesn't look like a penis. But maybe just a clit stimulator. Those are small and not intimidating, plus give great pleasure too!! A man's sexual ego is a fragile creature. I also found from my experience and from reading other's experiences, that if you do use a vibrator, maybe get one that lights up. Men like things that light up.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents worth (no charge). Best wishes, good luck, and WELCOME!!! Let us know when you are successful!!

[Tyger]

OK, so this is my second post to this topic, sice my 1st one isn't showing that there's a respose on the main page. Anyone else having this problem?

[deeroy312]

Thanks so much for the advise. Will try and talk to him. He is very old fashioned so I am going to need to take it 1 step at a time with him. You are right when it comes to male ego about sex. I will try to talk to him first. If that doesn't work I'll be back for more advise. Thanks again. cross your fingers....